


Package Deal (Or the long ordeal to get Q and Alec back in bed together again)

by AsheTarasovich (natalieashe), Boffin1710, natalieashe



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Bombing, F/M, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Permanent Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Sex, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-02 22:03:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 71,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2827625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/AsheTarasovich, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/pseuds/Boffin1710, https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/natalieashe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eve Moneypenny tries to help her best friend, the Quartermaster, through a tragedy in his life just to become involved in his chaos while trying to get him back together with the man who belongs in his life, Alec Trevelyan. Evie and Q are obnoxious and Alec is simply hopeless. The path of true love is less hearts and flowers - more manure and entrails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Authors note: Rated for some explicit sexual content in later chapters, but not a smut-fest. Completed work - updated every two to three days.

"I don't know what Daniel doesn't understand about the statement 'I am on a train'.  Tell him I am going to get off at the next stop and I'll call him back as soon as I get to my flat to talk through his changes.  But tell him he only goes a half hour, R.  That's it."  The train was over crowded this morning.  He had given up his seat to an elderly woman and was now standing. Most people were on their way to work or school.  He, however, was on his way home.  “I want to actually sleep for a couple hours in a bed.  Not on a crippling sofa.”

"What are you doing getting off there, Q?  Not your normal stop." R commented half distracted signing off on some forms that had been shoved in front of her while speaking with the quartermaster.  


"I know it's not my regular station but it's so crowded this morn.  Actually it will be amazing to just walk in the sunlight for a while. Not sure I remember what the sun looks like." He joked with his second in command, the voices of Q Branch around her in the background.  


It had been three weeks since Alec had walked out on him in the middle of a monumental argument. Two and half weeks since Alec had gone out on a long term mission. Two weeks since the Security Service had raised the Terror Alerts Level to Critical in Britain, which also set them into crisis mode.  He had only been home once since the argument of all arguments.  That was to pack a bag with clean clothes before heading back to Q Branch.  He had been sleeping in his office ever since.  This morning he had decided it was time to try to go home again, face the carnage of Alec's pillage of the flat gathering his things.  Maybe a few hours sleep in his own bed might help.  


"I know. I heard him. Tell Tanner I haven't ran away from home. Although it is so tempting.  I’ll be back in a few. He’s such an old woman sometimes”  he listened the babbling on the other end of the call as he adjusted his bag on his shoulder trying to give the girl standing next to him some more room.  


"Please R. I’ll be fine. Just a hot bath and a few hours sleep in my own bed and I will be a new person, with new clothes even." he paused for moment listening. "'Yes I know... After talking with Daniel.  He can be..."  


His words were cut off in mid-sentence, when a deafening roar of an explosion and screaming metal tore through their banter causing R to quickly rip the earpiece out of her ear.  All too familiar with the sound of explosions, she immediately yelled for Tanner.  "We have a situation Tanner." Shoving her ear piece back in "Q... Q... “ Getting no response. “Quartermaster.  Report."  Warning alarms starting going off on workstations throughout Q Branch.  “So help me god, Q answer me.”  


"We have an incident in the underground between Vauxhall, Victoria and Oxford Circus Stations." someone called out.    


"We have a bigger issue. The Quartermaster was on that train."  


Hours later Medical had a Threatre prepped, appropriate surgeons waiting per the onsite assessment that they had received.  The emergency vehicle had just arrived.  Dr. Reiley was directing the staff like a general on the battlefield preparing to march into combat.  He motioned to Tanner, standing guard at the outer door of Medical. Moneypenny’s heels could be heard pacing in the outer hallway.

“Has his next of kin been notified?” he quizzed Tanner and Moneypenny who had come at the sound of Dr. Reiley’s voice.  


“I’m his next of kin,” Moneypenny spoke up. Tanner turned to her with a raised eyebrow questioning look.  “Check his files, Tanner.  It’s all there. In writing.  Legal.” She snarled at him not having the least little bit of patience for his shite at the moment.  


“You better come with me then.”  Dr. Reiley motioned her back into the treatment rooms.  “He was conscious briefly earlier.  If you want to speak with him, this may be your only chance.”

One flat line, one  defibrillator , one  ventilator, 3 surgeries and 5 days later, the quartermaster stirred. Eyelids finally fluttering to some semblance of wakening.  “Q, love.  You’re in Medical.  I’m right here.” She swallowed hard calming her voice, a hand slowly combing through his dark curls.  She couldn’t let him know that he had made her cry.  “It’s about fucking time your opened your eyes, Q.  I’m getting really tired of carrying on a one sided conversation.”

Never tears between them.    


 


	2. Chapter 2

From the doorway Q Branch looked as it always did, but the silence that rippled from the doorway throughout the assorted desks at appearance of 006 was new.

The utter silence made the two arguing voices resonate through the room. Trevelyan was standing in the doorway of the Quartermaster's office arguing with R. "I'll be glad to take you equipment return for you, 006.  If you would just...." R was trying to reason with him.  

"What do you mean he's not fucking here?   And why did THAT say Medical Leave," pointing to the tech at the closest workstation who was cowered in the wake of 006.  Trevelyan was obviously in 'tense after mission mode' and nothing was going to suit him at the moment but seeing Q.  

Just then the doors to Q branch swung open and the approach of Moneypenny and Tanner caught his eye.  "Moneypenny! Where the fuck is he?  What's happened to Q?  These bloody idiots won't tell me." his voice growing louder the more questions he asked.

"006, if you please.  M is waiting in his office to speak with you." Tanner gestured towards the doors of Q Branch.

"I want some fucking answers, Tanner." Trevelyan looked to Moneypenny also, who gave him a small nod in confirmation and headed towards the exit doors. Trevelyan followed her along throwing a glare over his shoulder at R who stood next to Q's workstation.

"Are they safe in with him?" a tech questioned R.  

"As safe as they can be with a ranting post mission agent looking for his Quartermaster." R commented nonchalantly watching the trio leave Q Branch. "Moneypenny did shoot 007 once so there is some hope they'll come out of M's office alive."

“What happened to him that he is on Medical leave? Where is he, M?   Why didn't you bother to pull me or Bond in from the field when whatever it is happened."  Trevelyan growled at Mallory.  If someone had been in M's outer office where Moneypenny's desk was located, they probably would have heard Trevelyan yelling through the M's reinforced office door. “Not to mention that you didn't even bother to tell me at all the entire time I was out in the field.  Bloody fucking hell…”  

Trevelyan then rounded, “Fuck Moneypenny.  I thought you were his friend.”

She scowled back at him.  “I am his friend.  What he wants is my priority and he didn't think telling you would serve any purpose under the circumstances.

"Circumstances?  Bloody fuck, Moneypenny." By now Trevelyan and Moneypenny were standing toe to toe growling at each other.  And even though he was towering over her, she was not giving him an inch. "You didn't think I would want to know!  Not be worried!  I would have been on the first flight home if I had known."

“And that’s exactly what he didn't want.  You no longer have that right Alec.”  She stared him down.  Q had been very definite in his wishes not to have Trevelyan informed of his injuries.  The pain of the breakup had been difficult enough; the pain of his injuries offered a different focus that Trevelyan had no place in.

"I have no right!  What the fuck, Moneypenny," one of his calloused hands roughly scrubbed over his face.   "Damnit Eve. I need to see him!  Where is he?  Why isn't anyone giving me any details?" 

Tanner observed the exchange from across the room, shuffling the papers in his hands uncomfortably.  “The Quartermaster had no named blood next of kin… He named Moneypenny his next of kin to speak for him in the event he wasn't able.  Thankfully it didn't come to that, however, we recognise her right to relay his instructions.  He specifically requested that no details be passed to you, however…”  He looked uncertainly between the blond man and dark-haired woman, certain he was reading something in the exchange.  Moneypenny threw him a sharp glance, and gave a brief shake of her head.

Mallory stood from his desk where he had been involved in paperwork.  Rolling down his sleeves and buttoned his cuffs once more, he took the file from Tanner glancing through it momentarily before he addressed Trevelyan.   “006, I am sure, even though you were out of the country, you were aware of the unrest happening here in Britain.“ He began, purposely closing the file to not give Alec a chance to see the contents.  “and I am sure that some knowledge of the attack London sustained on the tube not long after you left on your mission.  Unfortunately, the Quartermaster happened to be on that train heading home for some much needed rest.” M reached around to his desk chair pulling his suit coat back on as he continued.  “Q was gravely injured in that incident and has been recovering on Medical leave since.  From what Tanner and Ms. Moneypenny have stated already, the Quartermaster at the moment wishes his only point of contact to be Ms. Moneypenny.  I suggest you take his wishing under consideration, 006.”

“A lot of bloody good that does me.  Gave me nothing at all.  Thank you so fucking much.  All three of you.” he snarled pushing past Tanner and Moneypenny,  he threw the office door back open slamming it against the inner office wall  and stormed back out.  A monitor went crashing to the floor off off the Moneypenny’s desk with a shove as Trevelyan headed for the outer doors.   

“Where the fuck do you think you are going, Alec?” Moneypenny hurried after him, Tanner directly behind her.

“Where the bloody fuck do you think I am going.. I need to see him.  Now!”  He rounded back on her again.  

“Oh I don’t think you are.  You’d do him a lot of fucking good in this state, Alec.  Stop and use your head for once and quit acting like a toddler.”  Moneypenny stepped up to the taller man getting right into his personal space grabbing him by the arm, a gasp from Tanner could be heard from behind them.

Trevelyan glared down at the slim hand gripping his arm.  “Just what do you think you could do to stop me Eve?”

“He’s not there.  He moved out.  Somewhere he can rebuild his life and figure out his future, and while he’s there he wants no contact from anyone here.  He needs space to decide what he wants.  If he even wants to return.”

“Tell me where,” he demanded covering her hand with his own.  Tanner took a step forward as if to protect her, but she waved him away.  Trevelyan might be furious, but he wouldn't hurt her.

She shook her head.  “If you have any feelings for him Alec, you’ll leave him alone.  He won’t fall back into your arms, and he won’t thank you for any misguided attempt to care for him out of guilt.  He’s coping as well as he can and doesn't need your interference.”

“I could find him,” He pulled her hand off his arm breaking their contact.  

Moneypenny didn't move away, she placed her hand firmly in the centre of his chest and shoved firmly until he took a step backwards.  “Don’t try.  Go home.”

“Fuck you, Eve!  I’ll find him.”  The door clashed behind him.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Friday was their regular dinner night.  Some nights they would order takeaway and other nights they would share the cooking.   Moneypenny would bitch and moan about how awful her week had been interspersed with bits of gossip.  Q would fuss over dinner if they were cooking and always made sure to have Moneypenny’s favorite wine chilling for her when he ordered in grocery supplies.  It gave them both a chance to take their minds off of other things.  It helped distract Q for a while from all the things that churned inside his head.  He looked forward to Moneypenny coming to visit.   She never asked how he was feeling, did he need anything, how did he feel about, was he taking his medication or give him those sympathetic looks when no one thought he was paying attention.

Moneypenny silently rode the freight lift of the building up to the second floor which housed Q’s flat.  She could see him in the kitchen area his back to her.  He looked thinner than ever to her standing there, barefoot, wearing jeans and a tshirt.  His cane was propped up on the counter next to his bad leg that was completely encased in a brace of webbing and gears.  Angry red scars were still visible on his left arm, that this evening was sporting a brace on the wrist and forearm, a good indication that he had spent much more time on the computer than his body could stand and was in some pain.  A lot had changed with him, hair longer now that curled around the neck of his shirt, and beard and mustache grown out also.  

“You’re early today, Moneypenny,” she heard him call out.  “Work that bad that you needed to escape?”  He turned away from the counter towards the elevator shoving his hair out of his face and then she could glimpse the scar that ran from his left eyebrow across his forehead that disappeared up in his hairline somewhere.

“Moneypenny... What’s wrong?”  Was immediately out of Q’s mouth as soon as he saw her face.  Q’s observations skills had not diminished at all with his medical leave of absence.

Moneypenny ignored the concerned crease of his brow and headed for the fridge, pouring herself a generous glass of wine and waving the bottle in Q’s general direction asking if he’d like one.

“Medication,” he muttered, shaking his head.  “And don’t ignore me.”

She fiddled with the glass, wiping condensation from the bowl while she thought of the best way to break the news.  In the end she said “Alec’s home.  He was asking after you.”

Q immediately limped his way out to the center of the open room leaving his cane behind. The enclosed U-shape of the kitchen all of a sudden was even too confining to him.  "Alec is back." he stated to no one, just voicing it.  "Alec doesn't ‘ask after’ anyone, Moneypenny.  I may not even be at 50% but I'm not stupid." he snarled at her.  

"Fuck!" He ran a hand through his messed hair that came to rest over his eyes.  He finally looked up at her, panic becoming very obvious in his features. "What did he want Moneypenny?  Oh god, what did Tanner or M tell him?" It was obvious that his thoughts were rapidly progressing to overload.  This was the most frantic that Moneypenny had seen him in a long time.

“Calm, love.”  She laid her hand on his shoulder rubbing slow circles over his arm.  “M gave him the briefest facts, no details.  Alec doesn't know where you are, but we both know that he’s resourceful.  At some point you’re going to come face to face, even if it’s not here - you need to prepare yourself for that.”  

She took a sip of her wine while she debated the wisdom of continuing, but Q didn't enjoy being protected.  “He was pretty angry that no one told him.  Slamming doors, toppling monitors kind of angry.  You know how he can be.  Perhaps you should think of meeting on your terms somewhere.”

Q grabbed her wine glass from her taking a huge gulp before she could snatch it back away from him. "What the hell does it matter that he didn't know.  Not his concern at all. He already made that perfectly clear to me before."  He began to nervously wander the flat hanging onto furniture to keep his balance.  

"I don't want to see him, Moneypenny.  I can avoid him." by now he had reached the upset stage where he was waving his hands around as he talked.  "He can't come here.  And I won't see him there.  I don't want to see him.  I can't see him... Not now, Moneypenny."

He finally stopped wandering and decisively stated, "I won't go back to Q Branch, Moneypenny.  I won't have to deal with him then."

“Avoiding him isn't a permanent solution Q.  Nor is giving up your entire career, just so you don’t have to face him.  If ultimately you decide you aren’t going back, that’s your choice, but I won’t allow you to make him the reason.”  Moneypenny could be stern, particularly when Q was spiraling, but she switched to a softer tone.  “I know the split was hard on you, and I don’t think you fully processed it before the accident took over.  Replacing one lot of misery with another wasn't ideal, but you are making fantastic progress.  Don’t let this be a setback.”

Somehow he had managed to steal her wine glass again, which she firmly extracted from his hand and pushed him gently towards the small dining table.  “Sit.  I’ll finish up the food.”  Heading back into the kitchen area she could hide her worry from him, while she dished up their meal.

Q slowly hobbled to the table taking what was "his" seat when they dined together trying to get his bad leg comfortable but out of Moneypenny's way coming to the table.  He was definitely in pain tonight and he knew he was paying more attention to it because he was angered and emotional, but he couldn't control it.

Moneypenny laid a plate in front of him and returned a moment later with a glass of water and his large plastic box packed with assorted pills. She put it on the table at his side without a word. It was the closest she ever came to nagging him about his medication, and only when he was clearly suffering.

Q was chewing on his lip, fiddling with his fork, picking it up in trembling fingers and dropping it onto the tabletop repeatedly. Trevelyan had hurt him badly but Q had never let himself grieve properly for the end of his relationship. Up to this point Moneypenny had played along with his blasé dismissal of the breakup whenever it came up and she pretended not to notice if occasionally he cried out for Alec when he eventually gave in to sleep.

"Moneypenny, if I was smart and not gay, I would declare my undying love for you.  Then we could have beautiful ruthless genius spy babies who would become the next ruling Double O’s of MI6 and take over the world,” Q tried to smile at her, joke, and hopefully distract the conversation from Trevelyan.   He continued to fiddle with his fork and push the food around on his plate without eating any of it.  Moneypenny sat there silently slowly eating her dinner and watched him as she could visibly see the thoughts fly through his head and the threads begin to unravel one at a one that tied him together.

“I’m supposed to go back to Medical in two weeks for reevaluation.” he sighed completely dreading going there. “What if I step down as Quartermaster, Moneypenny?  I could turn things over to R.  She would make a capable quartermaster.  Would M let me consult from here… work on projects?”   Because he knew MI6 would never let him completely walk away, not now after being Quartermaster.  However, he was grasping for anything at the moment, anything to avoid having to see Trevelyan.

"Q honey..." She waited for him to look at her. "You know that I think it's a terrible idea; I tell you every time you bring it up. R is capable, yes, but you have an instinct that no one else has ever shown. Since you've been gone the double O injury rate has increased dramatically and 003 is trying to avoid every mission until you return. They need you back, and what's more, they want you back. All of this-" she gestured around the flat and down to the floor under which lay Q's impressive workshop "well it's a distraction, but it's not entirely the work you love."

Q dropped the fork onto his plate with a clatter, abandoning all pretense of eating. Moneypenny raised an eyebrow but wisely kept all her usual comments about his skinny frame to herself knowing he wasn't up for teasing. "I can't talk you into anything love, I've learned that over the years, but if there was no Alec... What would you want to do? I know there are still obstacles to overcome, but most issues can be accommodated. M talked about relocating your office above ground..."

And without hesitation he answered her, “Of all people, you know the answer to that without even having to ask me, Moneypenny. I'd go back of course. I’ll just have to figure this all out somehow.” slowly rising from the table, white knuckling it to help himself stand.  “Relocating my office is not going to help.  He can’t move the entire Q Branch and that is where I need to be.”  Nervous energy and emotional chaos had him wandering the flat again.

“Trevelyan could not have come back at a worse time.” he turned to face her with the awful realization written all over his face.  “I am not going to be able to not see him, am I.  And he is not going to be sent back out into the field immediately either after being on such a long mission.”  

"Not for a while. He looked in good shape, so at least he won't be haunting Medical when you need to visit, but he'll be around the building. I can keep telling him he isn't welcome but when has he ever listened if he doesn't want to hear? He seemed genuinely worried about you."

“Worried about me!  Moneypenny… he is a fucking Double O and they have no concern for anyone else.  You know that.   He’s been out in the field.  He has nothing better to do than to cause trouble around headquarters because he is bored.”  He managed to flop down in his chair at the table again across from her.

“Maybe I can keep him at bay until I have to go into Medical.” Staring at her with his fork hovering over his plate again with a thought somewhere to his dinner again.  “I would much rather have to face him in the building than to have him come here and be alone with him.   I don’t think I could do that, at least not now.” he added pushing his dinner around again on his plate.  “Please tell Tanner not to give him any hints at all where I am, Moneypenny.”

“He wouldn't, but he’s curious.  I think he finally clicked there was something between the two of you, and Alec hasn't suddenly developed a deep concern for his work colleagues.  The only person he’ll gossip with is me, you’re quite safe.”  She pushed her plate away.  Q’s was barely half gone, but he was too distracted to eat.  The only reasonable answer was ice cream.

 


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't hard for Trevelyan to locate Q.  He would be a poor excuse for a Double O agent if he couldn’t follow a striking young woman across London to her Friday night date, but he waited a full six days before making an approach.  During that time he spent almost every evening loitering in the shadows across the street waiting for his former partner to emerge, but Q was merely a shadow slowly passing by the lamp lit upstairs windows.

Cooking for one’s self had become completely boring for Q to the point that he had finally convinced himself that he could manage to get down the street to the Chinese restaurant and bring back takeaway for dinner and maybe something extra for tomorrow.  Darkness had set in but he seemed to do better at night when there were less people out and about.  Crowds still were overwhelming to him.

The walk would do him good Q had told himself. There was no real hurry.  He needed to exercise and fresh air.  And even though he loved his flat, the openness, the four walls of it were closing in on him today.    

Q stopped for a moment just outside his building entrance taking in the sounds and feel of the city before turning back to set the security locks and alarms on the outer door.

Trevelyan almost raced across the road when he finally noticed Q's front door open spilling light onto the street, but he didn't want to give Q the opportunity to retreat.  The awkward way the young Quartermaster moved had given Trevelyan a split second's pause, but his inner hunter recognised it as something he could use to his advantage.  He moved silently along the pavement until he was only a stride away.

"Hello Q," he said softly, large hand closing on the slim man's shoulder so he could turn him into his waiting embrace. "I've missed you."

Utter panic took over as Q felt the hand close on his shoulder. He immediately pressed himself back against into his doorway and pulled out the Walther he had hidden in his trousers pocket, green lights lit up on the grip.  Breathing hard he fumbled to unlock the securities he had just set and to get back inside the safety of his inner sanctum but all he managed to do was send his cane falling to the pavement at his feet.  

"Fucking hell Q, give me the damn gun!  It's me, Alec!"  Trevelyan pressed Q against the door with his hip, attempting to hold the unsteady man up one-handed while he tried to take the gun from Q's shaking hand.  "You'll do yourself an injury you idiot.  Or me!"  

Q's hand tightened further on the grip determined not to let his only means of defence be taken from him, but Trevelyan's thick fingers were clamped around his wrist, pinning it above his head.  "Stop struggling, I only want to talk.  I've been desperate to see you but Moneypenny kept insisting I needed to stay away, but I can't Q, it's been driving me crazy-"  He broke off when his boot skimmed over the cane, sending it skidding into the gutter.

"Let me go, Trevelyan," Q snarled at him. "So help me, I will shoot you.  Let me the fuck go."  He struggled trying to get away from the larger man.  "You've got no right."

Q tried to pull his arm free from Alec grip but it was no use.  "You're hurting me, Trevelyan. Let me go!"

“I’m not letting you wave a fucking gun in my face Q.” he eased back from the younger man but kept his hand firmly around Q’s arm.  There were tremors running down the length of the limb that soon spread to the rest of his body, and Trevelyan realised the effort Q was expending just to stand upright.  “Jesus,” he breathed, taking in the leg brace, the cane that had rolled away and the ugly scar that marred Q’s forehead.  “M said it was grave… Why the fuck wouldn’t you let them call me back Q?  I could’ve taken care of you.  Shit, this is all wrong!”

"You are not taking care of me!  I can take care of myself, Trevelyan."  By now the panic was in full blown mode along with anger seeping in. "I told Moneypenny not to let them tell you. Why would they!  We aren't anything to each other anymore." He tried to push Alec back away from himself but only succeeded in making himself almost stumble.

"Go away, Trevelyan.  Leave me the fuck alone!  And as you so aptly put, yes this is all wrong," because inwardly in some ways Q was struggling with the feeling that he, himself was all wrong now and seeing Alec just stirred it all up along with everything else.  

"You can hardly stand upright.  Give me the gun!  For god’s sake just give it to me so I can pick up the damned cane for you; I'm not letting you point that bloody thing at me when I'm trying to help you.  Why are you even out on your own?  Don't you have a nurse or carer or something?  Christ..."  

Trevelyan’s mind was working overtime, working on how to get Q to calm the fuck down long enough so he could let him go without sliding down the wall.  “You should have someone with you.  I should…”  He shoved the panicking Quartermaster more firmly against the bricks and pressed a clumsy kiss on his forehead.  “Jesus, just please calm down Q… it wasn’t meant to be like this.  I came to tell you that we need to talk.  I’m here and I’m staying.” 

Q all but laughed hysterically at him. “Nurse?  Fuck you, Trevelyan.  I can take care of myself. I don’t need anyone with me.  I may not be whole, but I am not an invalid.” Q continued to squirm against Trevelyan trying to free himself.  “I don’t need someone to babysit me.  Bloody fuck.  Let me go.”  And he didn’t need anyone to stay with him full time.  Q had worked hard from the time the doctors would let him attempt to get out of bed to be back on his own feet, and to be independent as much as possible.  He had even checked himself out of medical before the Doctors had approved. If he did ever need help, Moneypenny was right there.  Never openly commenting to whatever assistance she was giving him.  They both tried to carry on as much as possible that nothing had changed.

“There is nothing to talk about between us,” he continued to growl at Trevelyan.  “You made it perfectly clear what you wanted a long time ago.  Remember!  You were the one who walked away.”    

“Give me my cane and let me go.”  He tried to gather his wits about him but it was a completely lost moment.  “Trevelyan!  For fuck’s sake… Alec… please.  You’re hurting me” trying to choke back the broken sob out of his voice.

Trevelyan finally registered the distress in Q's voice and stepped away, allowing Q's arm to drop to his side.  He bent to retrieve the cane half expecting a gunshot, or a kick to the head at the very least, but neither was forthcoming.  He handed the cane over, wincing at the pained exhale when Q leaned heavily on it.  "I'm sorry," he pushed his hands through his hair, not quite knowing what else to do with them.  "I didn't mean to hurt you; now or then.  You just never listen; you jump right in and decide what's right and to hell with everyone else.  I needed to get away from it for a while, but it wasn't meant to be as permanent as it turned out." 

Trevelyan started pacing, babbling words out so fast he doubted Q could follow, but it needed to be said.  "God Q, please, you have to hear me out.  I just wanted to come home and make things right.  I want to try again.  And... Please, can we go inside and talk?  You need me, now more than ever, and I can be there.  I've been injured plenty, and I know yours looks bad but we can have you back to work in no time, and I can move in to help... Look, I know I'm making a mess of this but I've been thinking about it for months.  I want to be with you, but can we not talk on the doorstep?"

And not knowing when to just stop as usual, Trevelyan pushed him into anger again.  “Of course I decide what's right for me, you bloody bastard.  I’ve taken care of myself for a long time even before you came into my life and I manage to survive fairly well.  And thank you for reminding me of the fact that it was me you needed to get away from.” At this point he was he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to cry because he was hurt or because he was so angry he was about to explode.  But he would be damned if he allowed Alec to make or see him cry.

“Trevelyan!” he screamed at him when Alec started babbling about taking care of him.  “Stop pacing, babbling, and listen to me and remember what I am saying to you.   I don’t need you.  I don’t need you to take care of me.” managing to rein in as much of his emotions as he could leaning heavily against the door frame.  Very slowly and deliberately he raised the Walther to point at Trevelyan once more.

“Take a good look at me, Alec.  A good look.  These injuries are not fixable.  You can't make me whole with your moronic notions. This is permanent.  This is me.  You cannot make it better.” The longer he spoke the cold disassociated edge of the Quartermaster came back into his voice.  “What do you not understand about the word permanent?  And you cannot fix what happened before between us.”

Q pushed himself up a little straighter away from the doorway.  “You are not coming inside my home.  There is nothing to discuss.  And if you accost me on my doorstep again like this, I will shoot you. I'll tell them you attacked me and they will believe me.  Remember I can access your psyche records with minimal effort." he threatened.  "Back away, Trevelyan.  I have enough to deal with trying to put my life back together.”

Years of experience had taught Trevelyan to recognise a man committed to firing a gun. Although Q's body trembled with emotion and exertion his gun hand was now fairly steady and directed at Trevelyan's chest. Q was breathing heavily but all his anger was focused down to that single point. "I'm a fucking idiot," Trevelyan cursed.  "Put the gun away before one of us gets hurt."

All his carefully constructed reasons that Q should take him back splintered and were washed away by a surge of anger at the stubborn young man threatening him. Typical bloody Q, always had to have the last dramatic word and always left him certain he'd lost again. There was nothing to be gained by staying. "I'm leaving," he said roughly. "But I won't let this go." The words he needed to say wouldn't come, and Q would shoot him in the back if he dared to utter them anyway. He walked away.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Trevelyan waited outside Moneypenny's door an open bottle in one hand and peace-offering pizza in the other. It was a good two minutes since he'd knocked loud enough to wake the dead but she was yet to open the door. She knew he was on his way thanks to the barrage of texts he'd sent, but he'd deliberately avoided mentioning Q.

He kicked the door twice with the toe of his boot in lieu of knocking and heard the locks being disengaged. It flew open a second later. "What the bloody hell did you do Alec?" Moneypenny yelled at him. "I told you to stay away."

“I tried… I thought…” Alec, who had obviously already started drinking, began to mutter at her shoving the pizza and open bottle at her as a peace offering.  “Bloody hell, Moneypenny.  I fucked up.  He was going to fucking shoot me!”

“Get the hell in here,” Moneypenny snarled at him grabbing him by an arm and pulling him inside. “so I can kill you without having to explain all the blood outside to the neighbors.  Just what the hell were you thinking?!”

"I thought maybe once he saw me he'd be willing to talk, but he just flipped out." He thrust out his hand with the bottle narrowly avoiding Moneypenny's face. "Why didn't you tell me how bad he was? I would've handled it better if I'd known."

"I doubt it. You're like a bull in a china shop Alec, no care or finesse, and you never stop to consider that it's not just your feelings that matter. You knew he didn't want to see you." Her curls bobbed furiously around her head as she searched the kitchen for plates, never pausing in her scolding. She shoved a glass into his hand and he stared at it, as though he didn't know what it was for. "Vodka in the glass Alec. Let's try to be civilised while I kill you,"

“You didn’t tell me how bad he was, Moneypenny,” he repeated himself again as he poured vodka into her glass and then took a large gulp right from the bottle himself. “Fuck… bloody fucking hell….  He is never going to talk to me again.” He sighed looking at her with sad drunk eyes.  “I just thought... While I was gone I just wanted to make it better.”

He took another long drink from the bottle before practically slamming it down on the kitchen counter.  “I was going to apologize and then it all went to hell.   You didn't tell me how bad he was, Moneypenny.”

“Alec Trevelyan,” Moneypenny snarled at him, “You are going to sit your drunken arse down in that chair and you are going to listen to me!” shoving him towards the kitchen table.

He fell heavily into the chair, elbows banging onto the table and chin slumping into his hand.  He was the picture of dejection and if she wasn't so mad with him she could almost feel sorry for him.  “If you’d just bloody listen to someone else once in a while you would fare a lot better.  You hurt Q badly; you couldn’t expect to just waltz back in and pick up where you left off.  And that’s without all of the terrible things that have happened since you left.  You have no idea of the trauma he’s been through and you didn't bother to stop and find out, you just barged in with your own agenda as usual.”

“I saw the state of him Moneypenny.  He said the damage is permanent.  Is it?  MI6 has the best medical and rehab facilities, and he’s telling me that’s as well as he’s going to get.  That can’t be true.”  Anger was bubbling again, at her, at Q and the whole situation.  “How long since he was hurt?”

Moneypenny sighed and sat down at the table with him, some of her anger cooling slightly.  “It happened not too long after you left to go on mission.  He’s been in a lot of therapy, Alec.  You cannot imagine how he has pushed himself to try to be better.” She could not help but remember watching Q lying in medical just hoping that he would survive at all.

“He was telling the truth, Alec.  There isn't much hope for things to improve much more.  Just for him to become better adjusted to his physical condition.  It’s more his mental state that has a lot of us concerned at the moment.  Trying to get him back enough that he can returned to being Quartermaster. Which you just completely destroyed.” Anger flaring again as she reached over the table to hit him squarely in the shoulder.  “Because of you, I’ll probably never get him out of his flat again, let alone back into Q Branch.  How could you be so stupid, Alec!”

“I didn't know, because no one told me!” he was yelling again, arms outstretched to emphasize his frustration.  “I can’t accept that’s it.  I won’t.  There has to be more to be done - more physiotherapy.  I can help with that if you’ll talk him round?  If he gets his physical body right, the mental will follow - that’s how it always works, I should know.”

She snatched his bottle away and slammed it on the table.  “No!  Stop talking!  He isn't you, Alec.  He isn't Bond, or any other of the Double-O’s.  Peak physical perfection is not the way to restoring his mental state.  He has accepted his physical limitations mostly and is adapting to them.  While Medical had him he played the game, had hours of counselling and therapy, but as soon as he left he cut off all contact.  He’s been alternately sinking and swimming ever since, and I’m the only person he will talk to about it.  We were doing well, but now-”

Elbows on the table and his heads in his hands, Alec closed his eyes and sighed. “What can I do to make this better, Moneypenny?  How can I help?” He leaned back in the chair throwing his hands up in the air.  “I so fucked up, didn't I…”

“He’s supposed to go back to Medical for reevaluation again in just a little over a week. I don’t know if I am going to be able to get him to come out of his flat now.” Moneypenny continued to chastise him.  “Alec, he hasn't even been back to Q Branch since the accident.  He won’t go back underground from being trapped there so long in the accident.  Q not going to Q Branch.  Do you understand?” Moneypenny grabbed the bottle off the table and refilled her glass.  “This is so not good, Alec.  I should just shoot you anyway… just because.” She growled at him.

“I’m sorry, so damn deeply sorry.  I didn’t intend to make it worse,” he groaned.  “Surely the shrinks worked with him on the trauma of being trapped?  They aren't known for pussy-footing around, no time for that in the work we do.  Has he even tried to go back?  Damn, of course he has.”  Q was stubborn.  He wouldn't let anything keep him from his work unless it completely debilitated him.  

“I should go.”  Moneypenny glanced at him sharply, about to tell him not to be so stupid.  “I don’t mean from here, tonight.  I should ask for another assignment, and get far away from him.  Maybe if i wasn't here you could rebuild his confidence again.  Maybe the satisfaction that he’s chased me off will be the spark he needs.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Moneypenny immediately jumped on him. “You opened this can of worms with him and you are going to deal with it.  Some Double O you are, Trevelyan.” she chided him.   “Things get a little rough and emotional and you want to run away.”

“You two are somehow going to resolve what happened between you. I don’t know how you are going to do it, but Q needs to get past that to help with what is going on in his head now.” She stopped and thought for a moment.  “Or maybe helping him get by what is the huge white elephant in the room with Q Branch would help make the issue with yourself and him go away.” She added plans starting to churn in her head.

“Either way you are not running away from this.  If I have to tell M to keep you out of the field, so help me I will do it or would you rather I just shot you now?” she grinned wickedly at him.

He snorted and reached for his bottle which wobbled dangerously.  "You could try.  I could disarm you with one arm tied behind my back Moneypenny," he slurred. He dropped his head to his folded arms, muttering into the crook of his elbow.  "I want him back Eve.  I'll do anything to make him believe I'm serious, but if he really doesn't want me anymore... What do I do?  I planned to say sorry after a week or so, and then a month, but then it felt too late and I didn't know what to say."  He sat up abruptly causing the bottle to rock again.  "I would always hold his hand.  Not literally."

Moneypenny grinned at the increasingly drunk man.  Trevelyan was a bloody arse but she was sure he genuinely cared for Q and that was the only reason she could see for not shooting him.  "Eat some pizza, Alec, then take the spare room and sleep it off.  I need to call Q and see how he's doing."

 


	6. Chapter 6

“I don’t know why I let you drag me out of my flat, Moneypenny.  We could have just as easily postponed this for another week or two” Q protested as Moneypenny had his free arm linked in hers making sure he did not escape from her.  She didn’t even respond as she continued on their way towards MI6 Medical wing.

“They are just going to poke and prod me and stare and make ridiculous notes in their files.  And then the ignorant people in Psyche are going to do the same thing.” He tried pulling away from her.  “This is utterly useless, Moneypenny!’

“I agree totally, sweetheart.  They’re a bunch of idiots, who don’t have the faintest idea what they’re doing.”  She patted his arm, drawing him along the corridor with her hip bumping companionably against his.  In her heels they were around the same height which made it much easier to guide the stubborn young man with subtle body language rather than hauling  him bodily towards the doctors.  “These idiots however, are responsible for determining whether or not you’ll still have a job in the future.”

She was smiling, but the brutal nature of the statement wasn’t lost on Q.  Moneypenny was making the effort to not comment since Trevelyan had returned, biting her tongue or humouring Q in his rants where once she would have been very direct.  She knew it was starting to irritate her friend, which was precisely her goal.  Q needed to regain some passion for life and lose some of the fear, starting today.  

“M wants you back in Q-branch.  While he agrees your new R&D projects are valuable, they are not your primary job role.  While you’re languishing at home playing at inventor, the Double Os are doing their best to break themselves and take the world with them.  Bond destroyed half a Swiss village yesterday and blamed R for it.  It would never have happened if you were in charge Q, James said so, loudly and with inventive expletives.  You can’t blame the docs for wanting to get you back to work; you’re far less hassle than a hoard of injured double-o agents.”

"Maybe I don't want to come back, Moneypenny." he glanced at her and slowed their pace down a little without even having to say a word to her, Moneypenny could read his physical need to slow.

"Not very convincing, love. I know you can lie better than that, Q." smiling at him as she patted his arm.  "You'll need to do better than that in Psych or you'll never escape their clutches."

"Oh they're all idiots, Moneypenny.  I know how to play their game, know what they want to hear.  Probably even better than the Double O's." he huffed out a small laugh. "If they knew what they were doing, Moneypenny, I probably would never have been in TSS to begin with from the start."

Word must have spread that the Quartermaster was in the building because R was waiting outside the doors to Medical.  Upon seeing them, R met them halfway down the corridor giving Q a huge hug.  "Where did my Quartermaster go and who replaced him with this university student.  I love the hair and beard, Q. The cane is sort of sexy too."  she continued to teased him about his non cardigan attire.

"At least he has shoes on today," Moneypenny added. "I was beginning to think he didn't own shoes anymore."

"I am so glad to see you.  I hope you are coming back soon," R continued giving him a look over obviously making her own assessment of his current status. "If you don't, you are going to need to buy a new suit for funerals because I am going to kill every agent employed by MI6. Bond is going to be my first victim." Talking amongst themselves, the three of them continued their slow pace towards Medical until they were at the outer doors. R made her excuses and headed back to Q Branch with promises to see him before he left again.

Moneypenny let go of his arm and turned to stand directly in front of him to give him the motherly talk before unleashing Psych and Medical on him.

"Play nice. They're here to do a job and they are actually excellent at what they do. Remember all those times you yelled at Alec for not taking their interventions seriously? Well, this is payback. Don't make me the ogre in heels." She smiled fondly at him, curling her arms around him in a reassuring hug and kissing his cheek. "I'll be in my office. Call me when you're done and we'll grab some lunch before I take you home. Now go." She made shooing motions urging him towards the door.

Q trailed to the door like a nervous child on his first day of school. Thoughts tumbled through his mind about the best way to handle the assessments to achieve his desired outcome. The difficulty was deciding what his preferred result should be. He wanted to return as Quartermaster, he just wasn't sure he could handle the press of thousands of tons of concrete above his head and a Double O agent determined to fix him.

Three hours later a subdued Q sat across from Moneypenny in the cafeteria crumbling a chocolate chip muffin into two distinct piles of crumbs and choc chips. "You were supposed to eat that. A treat for being good. Are you going to tell me or do I have to steal the report from M's desk?"

He flicked the pile of chocolate angrily sending chips scattering in all directions. Moneypenny calmly brushed a couple from her lap before they melted and stained her skirt. "They've declared me physically fit enough to return with appropriate adjustments to my work area."

"As we thought. And the Psych evaluation?"

“I didn’t pass the Psych evaluation.” he admitted to her as she pulled the pile of crumbs away from him just before he flicked it all over her too.  “Because I can’t even get my arse into the elevator to go down to Q Branch. And they questioned my need for pain medication if I am in Q Branch for an extended time frame.”

Q silently reached for his cup of tea holding it in front of him staring into it lost in thought.   Moneypenny patiently sat there in silence and waited for the thoughts in Q’s head to coalesce and him to verbalize them.  “M’s called me on it, Moneypenny. Put me on notice.   I have 2 weeks to a month to handle this somehow if possible and get back to work. Otherwise I will be on permanent Medical leave and step down as Quartermaster until I am declared fit to return to work.

“I understand M’s need to have someone in charge in Q Branch but…”  He kept staring into his cup and for a moment Moneypenny began to wonder if he was getting ready to fling it across the room to join the scattered chocolate chips.  “If I can’t come back by then, my access to Q Branch will be cut, Moneypenny.  I’ll only be giving access on an “as need” basis if there is an emergency.” he sighed finally looking up at her.  “I could get in if I wanted to but I don’t think M would be too pleased about that either."

“What the fuck am I going to do, Moneypenny? I have to be able to get to Q Branch and not become completely unhinged.”  tea cup clattering to the table not hard enough to break but definitely mingling splashed tea with muffin crumbs in front of him.

"Come on," Moneypenny said pushing her chair from the table and standing. Q looked up at her slightly irritated that she had failed to come back with some kind of advice for his predicament.

"Time to go home?" He didn't relish spending the entire afternoon alone brooding but he couldn't ask Moneypenny to stay either.

"We're going to Q-branch," she said decisively. "That's where you need to be and it's not going to come to you."

"What? No! Haven't you been listening?" Panic was rising at the mere thought, and he found his fingers curling around the edge of the table as if by clinging to it he would be able to stay safe.

"Q honey, I've listened for the last six months. I've listened to you rage and shout, I've listened to you reason and accept. You're far stronger than you give yourself credit." She smiled at him confidently.

His face had turned pasty white and his tongue darted out to moisten dry lips. "I can't..."

"You haven't tried. Not with any conviction anyway." She folded her arms. There was no false sympathy in her eyes, just determination that he would succeed. "I don't care if we make it to your office. I'm not even going to push you to make it through the doors of Q-branch. All I want from you today is to open the lift door." 

He looked like he might vomit but one hand released its death grip on the table. "One tiny step to getting your life back Q. I don't ask much of you, don't try emotional blackmail too often, but I've done a lot to help you get this far. Just open the doors for me."

Q sighed deeply, “I would not have made it this far without you, Moneypenny.  And I don’t tell you enough how grateful I am that you are my family.”  He slowly stood from the table dragging his cane out from underneath it.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Moneypenny,” he ran his free hand through his hair, inhaling and exhaling trying to calm himself.  “I don’t know if I can even open the lift  door.” Moneypenny stood from the table also and he linked his arm in hers again pulling her close in for emotional protection.  “If I manage to do that much and look like I am going to vomit, for heaven’s sake don’t get into the lift with me at all.  Are you sure we have to do this today?  Can’t it…”  Seeing the “I can’t believe you just asked me that” look appear on her face, he didn’t even bother to finish his sentence.

The lifts were busy, people pushing in and out, coming to and from lunch. Moneypenny took one look and swiftly turned Q to the right along a short corridor. "Um grateful as I am to be heading away from the source of my distress, where are we going?" She grinned, pleased to hear a shadow of his usual sarcasm return.

"Trust me."

 


	7. Chapter 7

They walked arm in arm to the end of the deserted corridor and stopped at the much larger service lift. "There. Less claustrophobic and only me to witness your wobble. I do take your worries into consideration."

He gave a weak smile and squeezed her waist, kissing her cheek. "This is... Thank you Moneypenny."  Tentatively he stepped in front of the dull metal doors. Their distorted reflection stared back and he was thankful it wasn't clear enough to show his sick expression. "For Queen and Country, but most of all for you Eve." He pushed the button and locked his weak knees.

Closing his eyes in utter fear, Q heard the doors to the freight lift open.  He reached out a tentative hand to Moneypenny and slowly opened his eyes to stare into the empty car of the lift before him.  “Don’t leave me Moneypenny,” he managed to stammer barely above a whisper.   

Taking his hand and the other in the small of his back, Moneypenny slowly urged him towards the lift.  “You can do this, Q. “His hand shook in hers and she could feel him starting to resist.

“If I vomit in here, Moneypenny, I won’t acknowledge that is was me… ever,” he muttered.

"Understood. But you aren't going to vomit. Breathe deeply, I've got your back and I'm right behind you. You can feel me still touching you. Not going to let go." Her soothing voice washed over him and he concentrated hard on the light pressure on the waistband of his trousers. "Just one more step and... We're in Q. Take a moment."

He was quaking so badly he was convinced he'd set the lift car shaking. "That was... Probably not the worst thing I've ever experienced." His chuckle held a note of hysteria but he hadn't jumped straight back out.

Moneypenny wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "Well done." She leaned against him and her slight weight was enough to destabilize him, causing him to step further into the car. She grinned up at him cheekily, still squeezing.

"Moneypenny..." He warned. "Don't push me, please."

All of a sudden the panic started to overwhelm him.  “I don’t think I can do this, Moneypenny.” She could hear the tone change in his voice wavering between panic and upset in anger at himself.

His cane slipped from his grasp as he tried to back up slightly but Moneypenny was right behind him. Then there was another hand on his arm, a much larger hand that wasn't Moneypenny’s hand.

"Steady Q," Trevelyan said, helping him balance while he stooped to retrieve Q's cane. He didn't straighten immediately allowing Q to adjust to his presence, or to work up the energy to tell him to fuck off again. "you okay in here?" He set the tip of the cane against the floor and held it until Q found the handle.

"I'm fine," the young man blustered, but it lacked the venom of their previous encounter.  "I just... We're... Moneypenny can we get out for a moment?"

"Of course, no problem." She walked past him back into the hall leaving him in the lift with Trevelyan who was still holding firmly to his arm.  "How about I give you two some privacy? I won't send you anywhere Q, just closing the doors for a moment. Not long I promise." She offered a small smile as she pushed the button and the doors slid shut.

“Moneypenny…” Q started but she was already stepping out the doors and they were closing leaving him alone with Trevelyan in the closed elevator.  “I so hate you, Moneypenny…” he muttered under his breath.

“I swear to god if you push one of the buttons and make this lift move, Trevelyan, I will smack you with my cane.”   But he was frozen in place and didn’t even make the effort to remove Alec’s hand from his arm.  Q was struggling to control his breathing as he felt the four walls of the elevator start to close in on him.

"Lifts have never been my favourite thing," Trevelyan said cheerfully. "Easy to feel boxed in, but statistically speaking it's one of the safest places in the building. On a square footage basis, far less accidents occur in lifts than corridors."

"If that's an attempt at reassurance you wanker it's rubbish," Q growled. Trevelyan's hand was gently squeezing and releasing his arm in a distracting rhythm that Q found difficult to follow. It was something to focus on, but maddening in its lack of regularity. "I am going to kill that woman; she said she wouldn't leave me alone and... Alec will you stop doing that, it's irritating!"

"Well technically you aren't alone but you should definitely kill her. Such a busybody, always trying to help. You might want to tell her that when you get out." Trevelyan chuckled, letting Q's arm go.  Q stormed the short distance to the doors and pushed the button to open them.

"Why did you do that?" He snapped at the smirking woman in the corridor.

"Lessons one and two sweetie. Not all small spaces are scary and you have the power to get yourself out of a tight spot if you stop over thinking it."

“I am not over thinking it.  I am obsessing.  Just ask the idiots in Psych.  They’ll tell you all the technical terminology for my insanity.” Q snarked at Moneypenny who stood in the corridor arms crossed trying to contain herself.

“I so hate you, Moneypenny.  And I hate you too, Alec.” He was still obviously visibly shaken at getting into the lift in the first place.  “Are you happy now, Moneypenny?  I got in the lift and out of it without vomiting all over everywhere.  I think that is a major accomplishment for the day.”  They could see Q starting to pull away from them and away from the lift doors trying to make his way back down the corridor.

Moneypenny linked his arm, smoothly turning him back around towards the lift.  “You did brilliantly, fantastic achievement.  Don’t forget R needs to see you before we leave.  She’s going to meet us at the lift doors. Alec-?”  The blond man took Q’s other arm and encouraged him towards the elevator once more.

“No, no, no! I am not…” he lashed out at Trevelyan’s shins with his cane, connecting hard enough to make the taller man yelp.  Trevelyan took it from him and urged him forward more firmly.

“If necessary I’ll pick you up and carry you inside Q.  We are not going to let anything bad happen to you.  Trust us.  This is your last challenge for the day.”

“Please Moneypenny,” he pleaded glancing in her direction getting nothing but a raised eyebrow and a smirk from her.  “Please Alec,” turning towards the larger man hoping he would have better luck.  By then they had already maneuvered him back through the open lift doors which we now closing behind them again.   

He then saw Moneypenny start to reach behind herself to push a button to take then to the lower levels where Q Branch was located.  “Oh god… please Moneypenny… Eve…” he closed his eyes and they could feel him start to sink to the floor of the lift between them.

The service elevator wasn't quite as smooth as the staff elevators.  Q moaned softly, partly wrapping himself around Trevelyan’s legs, as it made it’s creaky, jerky way down towards the lower levels of the building.  “I hate you both… this is hell…”  It clanged to a halt with a harsh judder.

“Up you come Quartermaster.”  Trevelyan looped a hand under his arm and lifted him to his feet, circling an arm around his waist to steady him until Q could arrange his cane and control his feet.  Moneypenny smiled encouragingly, not at all upset by his malicious glare.

“When I am out of here and I stop shaking I will hurt you both,” he gasped, swallowing repeatedly against the burning in his throat.  Tears had gathered in the corner of his eyes from the strain of not giving in to his panic.

The doors opened onto a long corridor that led to Q Branch and there was no R to be seen anywhere.  Q swallowed hard before he could speak. "No R. She must be busy.  We can go back up and leave anytime now."

"Let's go find her. Just take a little walk down towards Q Branch," Moneypenny began linking her arm in his not giving him a chance to protest before she and Alec encouraged him out the doors and down the corridor, Alec's arm still around his waist.  

"Please no..." Q closed his eyes hoping that if he couldn't see where he was going, it would keep him from letting the tears fall.  

Trevelyan pushed the door open and immediately they were surrounded by chaos.  Not the usual semi-organised disorder that typified Q-branch, but a buzz of concern with tense voices and sharp orders flying over the heads of the assembled technicians.  The tension in the room was palpable. Moneypenny and Trevelyan exchanged a worried look, but there was no time to back Q out of the room.  “What’s going on?”  Q’s voice had gone thin with rising fear.  “Moneypenny…?”

“There seems to be a situation Q, but it looks like the branch is handling it.  Perhaps we should come back later when things are a little less frantic.”  She tugged on his arm, but Trevelyan had planted himself solidly beside a gawky young tech and was demanding answers.

R was on the comms with Bond arguing back and forth, his mission had obviously gone south and was quickly turning into a complete cock up.  Tanner stood beside her listening to the progress.  "We need this data, R.  We can't pull 007 back out of the situation now," Tanner could be heard over the din of the chaos happening in the room.

R was attempting to direct Bond through a series of factory buildings and Bond seemed to think he knew better how to circumvent the heavily armed guards. Alec was intimidating a younger tech for building plans and interrupting R with his unwanted input.

Moneypenny was attempting to back Q out of Q Branch just as Tanner and she spotted him "Quartermaster?  007 will listen to you." R almost pleaded with him as she nodded at him to take over the Center workstation.

“Fuck Moneypenny, get me out…”  Q pressed back against the slim woman but they had somehow managed to put a desk at her back.  “I can’t… not ready… Eve, please” he begged.  She wrapped her arms around his waist feeling him shudder as he fought to keep control.  

“It’s okay,” she whispered low in his ear.  “I’m going to step away from you Q but I’m right here.  You’re fine.  This is nothing you haven’t dealt with dozens of times before.  Alec-?”

“Not now,” the blond growled, poring over a tablet he’d been handed showing the plans.  “Shit, the bloody idiot has got himself into a one-way.  R, for fucks sake you’re supposed to be directing him!”  He stormed to the workstation, waving the tablet angrily at the young woman.

Q whimpered and closed his eyes, trying to center himself and blot out all the confusion.  “Quartermaster…” The rest of Tanner’s command was lost when a deafening explosion tore through the factory on screen sending an orange cloud of flaming gas into the air.  Q’s cane clattered to the floor, his knees connecting hard with the tiles a second later.

Q had pushed himself back against the nearest desk, his good leg curled under him and his bad one awkwardly out in front of him. Eyes closed, hands covering his ears as he fought the tears now openly flowing down his face as he babbled about not wanting to die down here pleading for someone to find him.

Moneypenny knelt in front of him trying to talk to him but was afraid to reach out and touch him at the moment. "Q ... Q... Please, it's okay.  You're safe.  We're in Q Branch.."  But to Q, he was buried in the train rubble once more where he had been trapped for hours injured, waiting to be dug out.  

"Alec!!  Trevelyan!!" Moneypenny finally started calling for help. There was no way she was going to be able to cope with Q on her own in this state and it was obvious she was not going to get any help from the techs around her.  They were in too much shock at the scene playing out in front of them involving their Quartermaster.

“Alec!” she screamed and finally her shrill voice penetrated the confused racket of the room.  Trevelyan was across the room in seconds, tossing the tablet onto the nearest desk and skidding along the last few feet on his knees.  “I don’t know what to do to help him” she said fearfully.  “He hasn't had an attack this severe since the earliest weeks of his recovery.

Trevelyan gripped Q’s wrists and pulled his hands from his ears.  “Listen Q.  Stop panicking for a second and listen to where you are.  We’re in Q-branch, you can hear the humming of the computers and all the familiar voices.  You can hear me.”  Q shook his head violently, soft moans of distress issuing from his parted lips.  His breathing was erratic as the panic attack took hold.

“Christ!”  Trevelyan curled one large hand around the back of Q’s neck and dropped his forehead to the younger man’s brow.  It was awkward and tense, but he couldn't care what the gossiping techs would say.  “Q, it’s me, Alec.  You’re safe, I promise.  I've got you.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind Alec voice registered with Q but not enough to override the horrific memory of the sounds of others dying around him in the rumble of the train. And with it all returned the pain and the feel of blood.

"Alec!  Do something!" Moneypenny pleaded with him knowing that Q was hyperventilating at that point.  

Not knowing what else to do, Alec reached one arm under Q's legs and the other around his waist, picking him up he carried the Quartermaster out of Q Branch.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Q was distressingly light in Trevelyan's arms as he raced up the stairs.  In his current state the Quartermaster would probably have been unaware of being inside the elevator but Trevelyan wasn’t prepared to take the chance.  Moneypenny followed hard on his heels, opening doors when he yelled at her and gasping out calming words that she hoped Q could hear.  They burst out of a fire exit into the mid-afternoon sunshine, all three panting for breath.

“You’re out Q.  Out in the sunshine, feel it on your skin.”  Trevelyan sank to his knees on the paving stones and half collapsed with Q in his lap.  “Hush now.”  He pressed his lips to Q’s wet cheek, tasting the salt of his tears.  “Come on Q, calm down.  It’s all over and you’re fine.  Tell me that you’re fine.”

Q’s rapid breathing hitched into dry sobs, torn from the depths of his chest. He buried into the strong body that held him and allowed himself to fall apart.

"Let it out, Q. You've been holding this in for months," Moneypenny whispered to him softly running a hand gently through his hair. Trevelyan glanced up at her with a questioning concerned look.  "Talk later" she silently mouthed to him.  "You stay here with Alec. You're safe with him." she spoke softly to Q. "I'm going back inside for just a few moments and then we'll get you back home."  

Moneypenny stood slowly not really knowing if Q had heard a word she said.  Nodding to Trevelyan, she headed back inside to check on the chaos in Q Branch. Also a stop at Medical was needed to be prepared for what the night could possibly bring since the doors were flung wide open to the emotion and fears Q had been burying since right after the accident.   She was not above sedating Q if that was what helped him get through the long day and night they were going to have.

Trevelyan pulled Q closer to him, arms wrapped around reinforcing the thought how slender Q was and more physically frail than he had realized.  "Hush Q.  It's going to be fine," Trevelyan murmured placing a soft kiss to the top of Q's head.  Q sobbed and scattered words broke into the sobs but Trevelyan couldn't make sense at all out of what Q was saying.  All he could do at the moment was hold Q, try to reassure and calm him, and pray Moneypenny came back relatively soon.

Trevelyan felt helpless and out of his comfort zone.  When he found himself in a dire situation his natural instinct was to joke his way through but there was no humour to be found for the weeping man in his arms. Q's fingers had locked into the fabric of his shirt, his face was buried in Trevelyan's neck and the pair rocked gently on the pavement. "I'm sorry Q. I know I couldn't have changed any of this, but... I'm sorry you're hurting." Trevelyan stared blankly at the wall opposite, unconsciously counting the bricks out loud in time with their motion, whispering the numbers into the young man's hair. Gradually Q's terror began to ease.

Moneypenny returned twenty minutes later with Q's cane and supplies from a sympathetic Medical officer. It was hopeless to expect the story of Q's breakdown not to spread through the building, but with the medication they had a head start on getting him home before Medical as a department intervened.

"Bond is safe.  A shot nicked his upper arm but otherwise unscathed. Evac team are on their way."  Trevelyan nodded, happy to let others worry for his friend for now. Bond would be fine; he was indestructible.

Moneypenny stroked a hand down Q's arm, careful not to spook him. "Q, can you walk? Alec and I are going to take you home. You've been so brave today, but we think you need to rest now." There was no response from the crying man, no sign he had heard.

"I'll carry him; I don't want to let him go." She smiled at the big blond, patted his shoulder to show she understood, and waited patiently while he struggled carefully to his feet.  Once they were upright, Trevelyan settled Q more securely in his arms and kissed his hair. "I won't let you down again Q."

Trevelyan had carefully situated the young man in the backseat over his Landover with Moneypenny to keep watch over him.   The ride back to Q’s flat was a silent one except for the sounds of Q still sobbing gasps as they rode through the streets of London.  Reaching Q’s flat, neither of them bothered to ask him if he could walk to the door, Trevelyan just hoisted him out of the back seat and carried him like before.

When they reached the building outer doors, Moneypenny unlocked the securities with code, key and her palm print.  “A little paranoid.” Trevelyan commented.

We are talking about our Quartermaster here, Alec.” smiling up at him gently cradling her closest friend in his arms to his chest.  Moneypenny reset the security system behind them and headed towards the freight lift at the far end of the open lower area that housed the garage and workshop areas.  “Come on…” she gestured to Trevelyan who just stood gawking at the surroundings.

“Where did?  When did this all...” puzzled by what he was seeing, a complex work area that had long been in use.

Moneypenny stood at the lift with the gate open waiting for Trevelyan to bring Q. “It belonged to the Major... Boothroyd's, Q told me.   Boothroyd has left it to Q it turned out after he passed.  Q moved in here just after he was released from Medical. Said his old flat was too confining, enclosed.  Turned out when I quizzed him about it, he couldn’t make himself even go inside the front hallway.”

“He’s happy here, Alec.” she commented as the lift reached the second story.  “It’s open and airy.”

“Let’s get him to bed so he can sleep this off for a while.” Moneypenny motioned to the far end of the second storey where a large bed stood surrounded by shelving and two large wooden armoires. “I’ll get this medication ready for him if you’ll strip him down to his pants, Alec and get him settled in.  If he wakes up tangled in his clothing, he panics.”  

Moneypenny started towards the kitchen, but stopped and turned back for a moment. “Alec,” she started hesitantly, “try not to be too... there’s more scarring underneath his clothing.  It’s healed.  It just still looks bad.  Oh, put his brace back on too, Alec.  He can’t get by without it.  Needs it much more so than the cane.” she said with a wave of her hand shooing him toward the bedroom area as she headed back towards the kitchen.

Trevelyan lowered Q to sit passively on the edge of the bed.  He was still snuffling but seemed to have slipped into another world and barely reacted when Trevelyan knelt on the floor to begin unfastening the straps of the brace.  He co-operated without a word, responding to the older man's light touches and softly spoken requests to move his leg.  

The brace removed, Trevelyan sat on the bed beside Q.  "I'm going to take your shirt off now.  Is that ok?"  Q dropped his eyes to his lap but made no objection, so Trevelyan cautiously pushed the buttons through the holes until he could slide the shirt free of Q's body.

He was shockingly thin, every rib clearly visible and his shoulder blades stuck out sharply at his back.  The scars on his arm were still livid red and stretched almost the entire length of the limb.  More lines of red slashed across his left side disappearing into the waistband of his jeans.  

Q flinched from the light brush of Trevelyan's hand down his arm. "It's ok," he reassured.  "I'm just checking you over.  Nod if you want me to stop."  

There was no nod so Trevelyan deliberately ran his hand gently down Q's side over the marks, halting at his hip.  "You've got some war wounds kid," he joked quietly.  "Might even give me a run for my money one day." Q huffed out a breath that wasn't quite a sob, but nowhere near a laugh and leaned heavily against the other man.

Trevelyan waited a few moments, then gently maneuvered Q down to the bed.  The Quartermaster stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, body tense as Trevelyan removed his jeans. It was bad.  Probably the most distressing injury Trevelyan had ever seen because it was on a body that had no business being anywhere it could sustain such damage.  A body he had loved.  A man he still loved.

The red puckered scarring ran from Q’s hip down the front of his thigh, part of the thigh muscle gone altogether. The whole leg was thinner than the other, muscle wasted from not being fully used.  

Q was trembling violently now, eyes squeezed tight shut but he couldn't prevent the tears leaking from his eyes.  In his head he could imagine Trevelyan's look of pity and disgust, the final nails in the coffin of their relationship.  Under his breath he moaned softly.  "No, no."

"Q?"  Trevelyan spoke his name quietly, then a little more urgently.  "Q, stop it. I'm here to help you. I'm not freaking out, not throwing up, not running away."  He placed his hand on Q's knee, just below the worst of the damage.  "So you'll never wear stockings again.  It's not the end of the world."  

Q choked, frightened eyes flashing to Trevelyan who was kneeling on the floor beside the bed watching him with the ghost of a smile on his face.  "Joke?" he gasped, and Trevelyan smiled, kissing him lightly on the forehead.

"Unless you've adopted a different sense of style since last I saw you."  Trevelyan's chuckle was edged with tension, but he felt he'd made a connection however brief.  Q stared at the ceiling unresponsive once more as the blond carefully fastened the brace back around his leg.

“Let’s get you lying down and all covered up so you don’t get cold,” Trevelyan awkwardly continued to babble as he gently maneuvered Q back onto a pillow and pulled the duvet up over him.  “And let’s see if you can get some sleep.”  He placed another small kiss to Q’s forehead and then brushed the hair back from his face.  There was no response from Q as he vaguely stared at the duvet pulled up around him, eyes unfocused.

Moneypenny stood off to side watching the two men in front of her deeply concerned.  Trevelyan rose seeing her standing there. “Get some sleep, Q. You’re safe here. Moneypenny and I are right here if you need anything.  Neither of us are leaving. “ He quietly walked away from the bed motioning Moneypenny back to the kitchen area where they could talk without disturbing Q but would be close enough to hear him if needed.

"How many times have you done this for him over the months?" Trevelyan asked her.  He leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, eyes lingering on the still figure in the bed across the room.  There was an ache in his biceps reminding him how far he'd carried Q, but his arms felt empty now.

"Not as often as you might imagine.  A few times in the early days back here, when he was still struggling to get around and the memories were still fresh.  He's fiercely independent and insisted on doing things for himself long before he was physically able."  She sagged into the closest dining chair.  "Oh god, Alec this is my fault.  I pushed him too far too soon because I wanted him to meet M's deadline.  All the way through his recovery he's challenged himself... I thought he could handle this."  

“Maybe we pushed too far, Moneypenny.  Not just you.  I pushed him too,” Trevelyan sighed.  “But Eve, in the lift, he wanted it too.  He needed to try also, that spark was there.”  Trevelyan moved away from the counter taking a couple of steps closer to where Q lay silent in his bed.  Stopping for a moment watching him in silence before turning back towards her.

“I didn’t understand, Eve.  I should have listened to you when I first came back.” He crossed the room to sit next to her at the table.  “I have so fucked up everything between him and I so far, Moneypenny.  How can I help him through this?  Get him back to working in Q Branch.” Trevelyan rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his head into his hands.  “I can’t imagine what will happen if he can’t go back to work in Q Branch.  I don’t even want to think about it.”

"We need to ensure his desire to return is greater than his fear of doing so.  There are always going to be triggers, but he needs to manage them.  I just wish we had more time."

 


	9. Chapter 9

The pair stepped back into the bedroom area to check on the Quartermaster one more time.  Q slumbered peacefully thanks to the sedatives Moneypenny had sourced from Medical.  When she handed them over he looked at them for a moment, recognising they didn't come from his plastic box, and then throwing them down his throat without question.  He trusted her implicitly with his care, even after the disastrous day. Trevelyan pulled a chair up beside his bed and sat quietly watching him sleep.

"We need to try again," he said softly when Moneypenny handed him a mug of coffee in the early hours.  She had changed into pyjamas and Trevelyan idly wondered how much time she spent in the flat if she kept personal possessions and clothing there.  "No matter what he says or how much of a fight he puts up, we must insist he goes back to Q-branch today."

"I know you're right, but I'm scared for him."  She rested her chin on Trevelyan's shoulder having pulled the sheet up to Q's chest.  "I'm going to make some food.  I'll call you when it's ready."

Moneypenny and Trevelyan sat around Q's kitchen eating the breakfast that she had managed to cook without setting the flat on fire.  They both finally agreed that somehow they needed to push Q to at least go back to MI6 later in the day.  They might not be able to get him into the lift but getting him inside the building would be a start.  Getting him to Q Branch was another issue.   

They were both startled by a quiet voice in the shadowed flat and looked up to find Q wrapped in the duvet off the bed looking like a ghost.  "I'm sorry.  I tried not to come unhinged.  I just... I just couldn't keep it back."  he stammered his voice was still shaking.

Trevelyan was off his seat and guiding Q to the table, duvet and all, before Moneypenny could move.  “Sit, I’ll fetch you something to eat.  And tea?  Do you want toast too?”  Moneypenny snorted at the expression on Trevelyan’s face which was a mix of tenderness and concern.  “What?” he demanded.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at Q who was looking lost.  “It’s not a problem Q; it was well overdue, but Alec and I are sorry for not taking better care of you.  Apparently Alec’s apology involves feeding you when you’re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.”

Q smiled at the blond man who was hovering by the toaster uncertainly.  “No… it’s fine… Yes I think I would like you to make me tea and toast, Alec.  Thank you.”  Moneypenny raised an eyebrow in surprise.  “Maybe it’s time I acknowledged that I need some help if I’m going to get back to work.”

Q rubbed his eyes with the back of a hand as he pulled the duvet closer around himself.  "You drugged me, Moneypenny," he frowned at her.  "I don't know if I like you anymore.  But thank you anyway."  

Trevelyan cautiously handed him a cup of tea not sure if he would accept it or throw it at him.  "Ta Alec" Q glanced up at him not sure what was happening between the two of them right now.  

"I at least need to manage to go back to Q Branch to apologize to my team for making such a bloody fucking arse of myself earlier.   I may not be able to do anything else any more but I need to do that." He said quietly.  "I don't think I can make M's deadline Moneypenny." he added.

“Maybe not love, but with our help would you try?”  She regarded him with some concern, but hopeful nonetheless.  “Alec and I think we can help.  Without pushing this time.” she clarified.  Q didn’t look certain, but the resistance had gone from him, so he nodded.

“An apology today.  Maybe I’ll walk into my office.  Probably straight back out again.”  He looked at Moneypenny, but reached for Trevelyan’s hand.  “I don’t know what’s worse right now - the fear or the humiliation - but I know that getting past the doors of Q-branch is the first step.  R is a brilliant second in command, but she still needs some training before I’m ready to step down.”  His smile was barely there, but it was a positive step.  Trevelyan squeezed his fingers reassuringly.  This would work; it had to.

"I know I can't go back when there is a mission running.  They are too unpredictable as to what can happen.   And R can't risk me having another episode like today and disrupting again." he shifted nervously in his chair replaying in his head what had happened earlier. Bringing a shudder to the surface, Q pulled the duvet even tighter around him.

"If it had been anyone else but Bond, it could have been disastrous." he added.  "I'll try with your help. Both of you, if you would." glancing from Moneypenny to Trevelyan. "I'm so sorry to ask.  This isn't going to be easy and I know I am going to be a bloody arse about going back."  

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Two hours later they were back at the service elevator, Moneypenny having decided that for the time being less crowds were a definite advantage.  Q was flanked by his best friend and former lover, but this time they insisted that he took the lead.  He leaned heavily on his cane and rubbed the back of his neck nervously with his free hand.  “I’m pushing the button,” he said unnecessarily, but if the commentary gave him confidence then neither of his supporters would call him on it.

The doors slid open and the cavernous dark mouth was intimidating.  Q stared at it for at least five minutes without moving until with a sharp exclamation he limped swiftly inside.  “Well done love,” Moneypenny said, squeezing his hand.  Trevelyan stood at his shoulder like a bodyguard, silent and aware.  Whatever demons Q was going to face had little chance of being chased away by a Double O agent, but perhaps they would quake under the steady gaze of a lover and friend.

Q clung to Moneypenny's hand with his free hand breathing steadily and trying to shove the beginning feelings of panic back down.  "Moneypenny,  I can't push the button." he whispered.

"Take your time, love." She gently squeezed his hand again. "We've got all day.  And if anyone else wants to use this lift, well they can just piss off."  

"Push it Moneypenny," he growled at her knowing he would never be able to do it. "Just push the fucking button, before I get back off this lift."

With a swift nod, she reached out a slim finger and prodded the button that would take them to Q-branch.  Q inhaled deeply as the doors slid shut and the car began to descend.  “Moneypenny…” he breathed, gripping her fingers harder the deeper they went.  She tried not to wince as his tight grip crushed her hand, but then the pressure suddenly eased. Trevelyan shot her a glance over Q’s shoulder and she noticed the older man’s hand resting discreetly on Q’s elbow.

Exiting the lift was harder than entering.  The oppressive atmosphere of the entire building pressing on his head was one thing, but the sharper memory was of his panic attack the previous day.  Trevelyan stepped up behind him.  “New day Q.  Can’t change yesterday, just learn from it.”  He was correct, but those three steps that would take him from the metal box of the lift to the open corridor felt like a mile.

All he could hear was the explosion echoing through Q Branch from the day before, mingling with the sounds and smells from the accident over six months earlier.

"I can't do this. Can't do..." He gasped and started to back up deeper into the lift car but backed straight into Trevelyan's large frame standing directly behind him.  Q was struggling inside to maintain control over the demons that were coming to the surface.  He closed his eyes tightly as he breathed deeply.  "It's still so real and vivid.  I can't..."

"Verbalise it, Q. If you have to relive it, share it out loud." Moneypenny's eyes widened at Trevelyan's suggestion but she kept silent, hoping he knew what he was doing.

Q swallowed. "There was... The car was packed. I was going to get out at the next station and walk but... I was pressed against the doors and there was a girl with headphones beside me. I could hear her music... Was trying to work out what she was listening to, recognised it... Then..."  He tried to step back but there was nowhere to go.

Trevelyan squeezed his elbow. "Just an ordinary tube trip."

"Then there was a roar, and squealing of metal and... It lasted forever and then darkness. I passed out, I know that. So much agony when I came to... It was dark and people were screaming and crying..." Q's mouth was dry, his tongue darting over his lips futilely trying to moisten them.  Trevelyan's grip on his elbow grounded him and Moneypenny was rubbing circles on his lower back now.

"Are your eyes open Q? Look at the lift walls and the open corridor in front of you. You're safe in the present, not in your memories."

He nodded sharply and continued, seemingly unable to stop now he'd started. "the girl was lying on me. I could still hear her music but she didn't respond when I spoke to her. She was dead of course. Found out later the weight of her body on my injuries was probably what saved me. I didn't even know her name."

"We could try to find out, if you would like?"

Q glanced over his shoulder at Moneypenny. "Thank you."  Without another word he strode into the corridor, dragging the startled pair behind him.

Moneypenny could tell by Q's gait that he was in pain this morning. He had been on his feet too much the past few days.  She wanted to caution him to slow down but he was so determined to deal with his memories that she didn't want to stop him.  If they didn't follow through with this now, they might never get him down here again.

Halfway down the corridor, Q froze again.  Sights, sounds, and smells at the forefront again.   "Breathe easy Q. You're in the corridor to Q Branch. See the doors in front of you." Trevelyan gently squeezed his elbow once more but never let go.  "Tell us Q.  We're right here with you."

"I thought I was going to die down there." Q's voice cracked as he spoke.  "It felt like an eternity. I know I drifted in and out of consciousness."

"I'm sure it did feel like an eternity, Q" Moneypenny's voice appeared behind him once more.  "The tunnels had collapsed in places.  You were in between stations.  I'm sure six hours felt like six days at the time."

Trevelyan gave Moneypenny a worried look. "Six?" He silently mouthed to her behind Q's back.  Q's voice brought him back again to the matter at hand.

"Odd how one's mind works in a situation such as that. I remember lying there trying to sort out what I was smelling.  If it was just the smell of the carriages burning or if I could smell the remains of explosives from a possible bombing." He laughed at himself. Slightly maniacal, but at least a laugh.  "Boothroyd would have been proud of me."

"I couldn't help but think how much I would miss you Moneypenny,"  he continued.  "And how I would never get a chance to tell you just how much I hated you and never wanted to see you again, Alec."

Trevelyan snorted behind him. "I deserve that Q. But nice of you to think about me when you thought you were dying even if it was hating me".

Moneypenny gave Trevelyan a look and elbowed him.  "Alright! Alright! " he smiled at her. "Okay Q. Just a few more steps." Making sure Q could still feel

his hand on his elbow. "The doors to your kingdom are right there.  No smoke. No fires.  No destroyed train car. Just Q Branch."

"No less terrifying" Q murmured. His cheeks coloured with the memory of his collapse but standing in the corridor would make it no less embarrassing. "Onwards..."  The door yielded easily to his determined push and he stepped inside.  It was as calm as Q Branch ever got, techs busy but no sense of urgency to the work on the outside. R and Tanner were discussing something earnestly in front of her machine and the pair looked up when the small party entered.

"Quartermaster. Good to see you" Tanner shook his hand warmly. R smiled nervously, perhaps concerned there would be another meltdown. Q was aware that the general buzz of conversation had subsided behind him and turned to find half the room watching him. His lips twitched in a cautious smile and he poked his glasses further up his nose. Moneypenny and Trevelyan had fallen back to a discreet distance allowing Q to assume the role of department Head and he shrugged on an invisible cloak of false confidence.

"Good morning." There was a general murmuring of greetings in return that Q found oddly amusing, like he was a teacher in front of his class. He regarded the room and found most of the expressions ranged from welcoming to amused.  Confidence boosted, he continued. "My visit to Q-branch was rather less dignified than I had planned yesterday. I would like to offer my apologies." He didn't feel able to say more than that, and looked to Moneypenny for assistance.

"There are some documents in your office Quartermaster..." He nodded briskly at the room and followed her into his room and away from two dozen pairs of curious eyes.

"Q, are you okay?" Moneypenny quickly asked.  "Do we need to leave?" Tanner and R appeared at the open office door.  Q motioned them to come inside also. Tanner closed the door behind them.

As soon as the door to the Quartermaster's office closed the questions and comments began to flow around the room and directed at Trevelyan.  "Is the Quartermaster coming back, 006?"  "Is he going to step down?"  "I can't believe he came back today!" "He looks terrible!" "I heard he didn't pass his Psych Eval." And on and on, until Trevelyan couldn't stand the commotion anymore.  

"Enough!  All of you!" sending the techs scattering back to their workstations in fear for their lives. Trevelyan glared at all of them very few daring to actually meet his stare. "The Quartermaster is coming back to work and I expect you to give him all the assistance he needs!  Any questions or comments?"  Q Branch had never been so quiet.  Trevelyan smirked as he leaned back against Q's workstation daring them to make any more comments.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Inside the Quartermaster's office, Moneypenny regarded Q with concern. "I'm fine, Moneypenny. At least as fine as I can be at the moment." Q sighed.  "I just couldn't face all those eyes looking at me.  Lost my words."  he sighed sinking down into his desk chair dropping his cane to the floor in frustration.

"It's fine, Q.  You're doing so much better than yesterday," Moneypenny came to stand beside him gently laying a hand on his shoulder.  

"Doesn't mean you aren't still going to have to carry me out of here today again."  Q sighed sounding slightly defeated.   "R.. Tanner, I'm going to try to come back.  I don't know what is going to happen.  Slowly, but I need to attempt being here some each day if possible from now on." Just then there was a knock at the door and Trevelyan stuck his head in.

"Okay Q?"

"Fine.  I'm fine, Alec" Q took a long look at the older man standing there in the doorway of his office.  "You might as well come in here too, Alec.  It's not as if you haven't seen me at my worse and utterly naked along with it." 

"Well if you put it that way, Quartermaster." Trevelyan smirked.

"Bloody bastard." Q muttered.  "I am sorry for what happened yesterday," he directed to R and Tanner.  "I hope it doesn't happen again but more than likely it will.   I suppose if you see me floundering at any time, call Moneypenny right away.  She'll know what to do.  She's been my saviour these last few months."

Trevelyan came to stand behind Q, a proprietary hand on the Quartermaster's shoulder. Tanner looked from one to the other, cogs turning slowly in his brain until they settled into place with an "Oh, I see..."  His eyes narrowed as he regarded the two men. Q was oblivious, but Trevelyan glared defiantly back. "Yes. Now I see why your reaction was so extreme, 006. My apologies for not taking that into account, however..."

"However, you were doing your job and following Q's instructions. I get it, not happy about it." The tall blond man rubbed his fingers over the nape of Q's neck and Tanner wondered briefly who was comforting whom.

R regarded the bemused Chief of Staff with some humour. "Really Tanner? You didn't have a clue? Not even mildly curious why the Quartermaster was unavailable for a few days every time 006 returned from a mission?" Tanner had the grace to look flustered. It was his job to know these things but this relationship had completely passed him by.

"That's quite enough speculation about my love life, thank you." Q leaned forward putting his neck out of easy reach of Trevelyan's fingers. "May we focus on my return to work and not my past?" Trevelyan's hand fell away to his side, apparently dismissed. He folded his arms and bit his tongue hard, stepping away to the side of the office. Moneypenny cast him a sympathetic glance and shrugged her shoulders. Just because Q requested their support clearly didn't follow that all was forgiven.

"I honestly don't know how this is going to work out.  I may not be successful." Q sighed realising now was not the time to avoid what was happening inside his head. "R... Tanner, you need to know that it took everything I had to walk back in here today.  And if a situation like the mission yesterday arises again, at this time I can't guarantee my behaviour."

"Whatever you need, Quartermaster," Tanner began. "We can do what we can to work with you to return to full time."

"Full time may never happen, Tanner.  Physically I'm limited and the long days may never be achievable.   Fuck Tanner,  I may never get beyond this but I'm going to try."  Q sighed and rose from his chair slowly but there was a awkward fidgeting beginning to show.  "And with that comment, I think I am ready to go for the day.  Walls are closing in a little."

"Q, I need to grab something from my office before we leave," Moneypenny commented. "Alec can you help Q up the lift please."

"Of course, Moneypenny. We'll be fine."

"Will be expecting you some time tomorrow then Quartermaster. Good to have you back," Tanner commented as he and R headed back out to the main area of Q Branch leaving Q and Trevelyan alone in his office.  

Trevelyan reached down to pick up Q's cane for him.  "Are we past, Q?" he asked quietly as he handed the young man his cane.

"I don't know, Alec?  Are we past?" Q asked not sure if he wanted to have this conversation now but knew they would need to, maybe back at his flat later.  

"I hoped not, but I hadn't anticipated how drastically things had changed." Trevelyan didn't simply mean Q's injuries, although they undoubtedly coloured how Q saw their relationship now. "You've had six months to get used to..." Trevelyan trailed off, aware from Q's expression that what he was trying to say had already been misinterpreted by the younger man.

"Take me home please Alec" Q said coldly, struggling to his feet. He was tired and emotional with the strain of the day's achievements. He wasn't confident he could deal with Alec-fucking-Trevelyan and his qualms about their relationship. He had thought that maybe...? But no. Trevelyan was telling him in a handful of lame words that things were different now he was broken.  Maybe insurmountable.

Q limped through Q-branch barely acknowledging the well-wishers who welcomed him back. Trevelyan was a brooding shadow at his back, offering a steadying hand when he stumbled or a calming word when the walls of the lift started to press inwards, but once again the easy banter had faltered. Q knew it was too much to ask of anyone to take him on, but for a short time he had believed that Trevelyan would come through for him. It was easier on his own... Would be easier alone.

Moneypenny was waiting for them when the lift reached the upper ground level once more.   "Q, M needs me to stay.  Will you be alright if Alec takes you home?  As soon as I can get away, I'll be over, love.  Alright?" she moved in giving him a hug.  "You did well today." she added smiling at him.

"I'll be fine, Moneypenny.  I can manage on my own." he slowly started off down the corridor towards the parking garage without even looking to see if Trevelyan was behind him.  

"Here, you need this." Moneypenny shoved a large Manila envelope towards Trevelyan as he gave her a quizzical look.  "It's a copy of the reports from the bombing incident and a copy of Q's medical records.  You need to read them." she ordered.  "And I don't know what just happened between you two but you need to fix it, Trevelyan or you are going to answer to me.  Go!" she gave him a shove off in the direction that Q had wandered and headed back to M's office.

Trevelyan found the younger man waiting beside his Landrover when he finally caught up with him.  The ride back to Q's building was held a deafening silence between them neither knowing what to say. When they reached Q's flat, he immediately opened his car door as Trevelyan pulled up out front and started to get out.  "Thank you for the ride, Alec. I can make it from here."  Q shut the door and was unlocking his outer door securities before Trevelyan realised what was happening.

Trevelyan followed, much to Q's irritation. "I'm coming in. You can try to fight me off with that bloody cane if you wish, but frankly I'm more scared of Moneypenny. At least let me see you inside."

Q tutted with annoyance but once over the threshold he moved aside to let Trevelyan past. Once he ensured the door was secure he limped past the concerned blond to the lift.  Upstairs he headed directly to his the bed and sank down onto it.

"Tea?" Trevelyan enquired turning towards the kitchen area, and when the weary affirmation came he pulled two mugs from the cupboard and began to brew it. A few minutes later Trevelyan carried the fresh brewed tea to the bedside table only to find Q sound asleep.  

Trevelyan headed back to the kitchen to retrieve his own mug and his eyes fell on the Manila envelope tossed carelessly on the counter. Dreading what he was likely to find he headed to the overstuffed sofa in the living room and pulled out the thick sheaf of papers.  Two hours, and six cups of coffee later Trevelyan had a much clearer picture of everything from Q's state of mind to the physio progress report on the leg.

He curled up on the bed beside his Quartermaster and kissed his hand that lay on the pillow beside him. "I'm sorry Q.  Whatever you need is yours." Q stirred, didn't wake. "Whatever you need Q."

Trevelyan dozed with Q eventually.  It had been a long couple of days for everyone.  Almost three hours later he was awakened with a start to the younger man obviously lost in a nightmare struggling to wake himself and escape the terror. 

"Q... Q.." Trevelyan sat up next to him reaching out to shake his shoulder trying to gently coax him to wake.  All he managed to do was to pull a keening sob from the young man.  A few moments later with no warning, Q threw himself awake gasping for air.

Then the young man managed to quickly struggle up from the bed and physically pushed himself toward the bathroom where Trevelyan could clearly hear him vomiting violently and muttering to himself in between. "Oh god, oh god..."

Tentatively Trevelyan approached the bathroom and paused in the doorway. Q was curled on the tiles, forehead resting on his arm that draped over the toilet bowl. "Can I get you anything Q? Water? Pills?" Q shook his head.

"Just a nightmare" he acknowledged. "Go back to sleep Alec."

 


	12. Chapter 12

Trevelyan ignored Q's dismissal, sliding down the bathroom wall to sit on the tiles. "I'm staying until you're ready for sleep, then I'll take you back to bed" he replied.

"Why are you still here Alec?" Q asked bluntly, picking idly at a loose thread on his t-shirt and spitting sour tasting saliva into the toilet.

Trevelyan was quiet for a while trying to organise his thoughts until eventually he said "Because no matter how independent you are, I need you."

"That's what I realised while I was gone those six months. Wanted to talk to you about. Tell you. How the fight between us was stupid." He looked up to see Q struggling to get up off the floor but having a hard time managing to get up with his bad leg.  Trevelyan stood and reached over to help him up.  

Q shoved his hands away "I can do this," he snarled at the older man.  Trevelyan held his hands up in surrender and all he could do was watch as Q managed to get himself over to the tub where he pulled himself up to his feet by grabbing onto the extra handrails that had been installed after the accident.  

"That's just lovely, Alec.  Very romantic." He managed to weasel his way past Trevelyan through the bathroom doorway and limped toward the kitchen area to try to find his medications.  "That was six months ago. That me, the one you need, died on the surgery table in the medical theatre a long time ago. And you've made your feelings clear about the me that is here now." he called back at Trevelyan who was now following him.

Q fumbled with his medication bottles his hands starting to shake to the point had he couldn't managed the ones he needed.  "Bloody fucking hell." he growled throwing two of them across the kitchen area in frustration.  "Just leave me... I can't... I'll assign R to handle your missions, Trevelyan."

"Q, what were you dreaming about?  Talk to me, Q. Please let me help." Q limped passed him again hands flailing to push Trevelyan's hand away as he tried to touch him on the shoulder.  

He stopped in front of one of the large floor to ceiling windows looking out over the London skyline, his back to Trevelyan so he could not see the tears welling up in his eyes, and hoping he could set the mask of the Quartermaster back into place.  "R will keep you safe, Trevelyan.  She's a competent handler."  Q leaned heavily against the window frame trying to take some of the weight off his leg.  

"Is that all I am to you now Q? An agent?" A heavy weight had settled in Trevelyan's chest with Q's words and he stared past the young man following the familiar skyline, angry tears pricking the corners of his own eyes.

"Yes," Q answered softly. He bit his lip to keep from taking back the lie. He would stay strong and make Trevelyan's decision to walk away easier for him if the damn stupid man couldn't do it for himself.

Q pressed his forehead to the cool glass and cursed the doctors who couldn't fix his fractured heart at the same time they pinned his leg. "Just leave me Alec. I'm not the man you love and you're still the man that abandoned me. Six months..."

Whatever he had been about to say was lost when he felt Trevelyan at his back. Q could feel the warmth of the other's body close to his bare skin but Trevelyan maintained a small distance. "You're wrong Q. This isn't a pity party; I'm here because I love you and I realised that I was the biggest fucking idiot to walk away without resolving our fight, and a bigger one to let it drift so long. Here..." Trevelyan pressed the opened bottle of pills into Q's hand and headed for the stairs.

Boothroyd's workshop - now Q's - lit up as he passed through it looking for a distraction. It was wise to give Q space, he knew that, but what he wanted was to seize the other man and shake him until he understood how much he was still wanted. The injuries looked shocking and the physical limitations would continue to challenge Q but none of it changed the way Trevelyan felt.

He fell into a chair, elbows on his knees and growled his frustration into his hands. There was always the possibility he was misreading Q and there was no love left to rebuild. The thought was like a physical pain in his chest. He folded himself into the chair and tried to think of nothing at all until restless sleep took him.

Sometime later the sounds of the freight lift kicking in could be heard through the building.  When it reached the lower level, Q slowly pushed the gate open.  He shivered in the cooler air of the workshop even though he had the throw off the sofa wrapped around himself. He knew Trevelyan was still in the building. He couldn't have left with his securities set without setting off alarms in his mobile or the monitoring system that had access points scattered throughout the entire building.  

Q stayed inside the lift but managed to spot Trevelyan painfully slouched in the desk chair by the architect drawing table. "Alec... Alec..." No response.  "Trevelyan."  He sighed in frustration not just at getting no response from the older man but at the entire events of the evening in general. "006! Report!"  

The chair immediately went skidding ten feet behind him and Trevelyan was up on his feet in an instant.  Gun drawn. Eyes scanning the area. Assessing the mission situation.  "Alright Quartermaster?" eyes finally settling on Q's thin form leaning against the lift gate. 

"And where did that none issue weapon come from?" Trevelyan holstered the weapon shaking off the remaining fog of sleep realizing he was in Boothroyd's... the Quartermaster's workshop.  He held his position though. Not really sure where things stood between himself and Q. He didn't want to make the wrong move, make things worse between them like he seemed to do every time he spoke.

"Get on the lift, Alec," there was still the lingering hint of the "quartermaster" in Q's voice. "You can't sleep down here. I can't sleep upstairs. I don't have it in me to deal with" he waved a hand, the one that wasn't holding the throw around his thin shoulders, between the two of them. "This thing between the two of us. Whatever it is."  

Q stared at the floor of the lift momentarily before looking back up at Trevelyan through the hair that had fallen into his face.  "Come back to bed, Alec. I need sleep. You need sleep.  We'll sort this out at another time." He motioned for Trevelyan to get in the lift with him.

"Whatever you say, Quartermaster," Trevelyan took a second natured position right behind Q just slightly off his left shoulder.  "Just shut the fuck up, Alec." Q sighed and they both remained silent the rest of the way up to the second storey.  Q slowly made his way back towards his bed leaving the sofa throw piled on the floor halfway there.  Pulling the duvet back, he slowly settled in on his side, back to Trevelyan, trying to get his leg comfortable to attempt sleep.

Trevelyan hesitated at the side of the bed. "If you don't get in now, I'll banish you to the sofa and it gets cold out there."  Q's muffled voice chided him from under the duvet.  At that, Trevelyan didn't waste a moment. Crawling in behind Q, he made sure the duvet was tucked in around both of them. Wrapping an arm around Q's thin form, he gently placed a kiss to the back of his dark curls. "Sleep Q.  I'll chase the nightmares away."   He lay there listening to the young man's breathing finally even out with sleep before attempting to drift off himself.  

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Moneypenny let herself into Q's home and secured the doors. There was no sign of Q in the workshop which was unusual; he was an early riser, or someone who often didn't sleep at all, and was normally downstairs tinkering by the time she arrived with breakfast. The elevator was at the second level which meant he was still in the flat. She hoped he was sleeping for once.

Rather than wake him with the noisy elevator she took the stairs and stopped dead at the top. "Oh... Well." She grinned at the two sleeping forms curled together. Q's leg stuck out awkwardly but otherwise they'd managed to fit like they'd never been apart.

"Breakfast is served gents." She carried a mug in each hand across to the bed, the bag of pastries she'd collected on her way tucked awkwardly under arm. She let it fall onto the duvet and hoped they weren't too squashed.

Q sat up stiffly, pushing the dozing Trevelyan over. "Crumbs in the bed, Moneypenny." He grumbled. She rolled her eyes and returned to the kitchen to fetch plates and her own coffee.

"What time is it, Moneypenny?" he asked sleepily rubbing his eyes and trying to push his hair back that was sticking up all over. He reached for a mug off the beside table. Cradling it in both hands, he let the warm steam drift up into his face attempting to wake up.

"It's a lot later than you normally wake up," Moneypenny smirked at him. "Sleep well, love?" plopping down on the foot of the bed to join them.  

"Shut it, Moneypenny." he snarled at her grabbing up the bag of pastries rooting around in it looking for his favourite chocolate ones that she never forgot to bring as Trevelyan began to stir at the movement in the bed.

"If that's food I'll consider waking up" Trevelyan muttered, rolling onto one elbow to prop himself up. There were dark shadows under his eyes that said it hadn't been a peaceful night.

"Coffee too, extra sugar. Or I can make tea if you'd rather?"

Trevelyan almost snatched the cup from the grinning young woman and took a scalding sip. "Eve, you're an angel."

"Oh, I know." She tossed the bag to him. "Help yourself to an unhealthy breakfast. Q has already stolen everything containing chocolate, but the almond croissants are good."

"M wants to see you this morning Alec. James is back and is causing trouble. Mallory thinks you may have some influence, heaven knows why." She munched on her own pastry, offering half to Q who demolished it in two bites. "I'll be ok with Q on my own today I think." She gave him an encouraging smile.

"Oh good. The chaos twins unleashed on us again."  Q awkwardly crawled off the bed around her not at all shy about being clothed in just his pants and his leg brace.   He slowly made his way towards the bathroom obvious that the last few days had taken a toll on his stamina.  Trevelyan and Moneypenny could hear him rooting around in the bathroom and water running.

"Fuck," Moneypenny smiled at his frustrated groan coming from the bathroom. "Moneypenny. Where are are my pajama bottoms?  They were...."

"Have you bothered looking in the closet, Q?   They really don't live on the bathroom floor if you haven't noticed."  And then her mood switched in half a second turning to Trevelyan while Q was occupied searching for his pajama bottoms, "Do I need to warn you again how quickly I will kill you if you break his heart again?

"It's not like that, even if I wish it was." He stuffed all of the pillows behind his back and leaned against them, tugging the duvet higher, slightly less at ease with his lack of clothing around her. "He had a nightmare. So bad it knocked him sick. Does that happen often?"

Satisfied he wasn't lying to her she relaxed. "Too often. He won't discuss them, not even with me. When it happens... Well, I've woken up beside him myself occasionally. Changed sheets when necessary. They've grown less frequent but the intensity doesn't seem to vary."

"He asked me to sleep here, I didn't force the issue. Just to be clear."

She nodded. "Then you're honoured. He's already shown you more of himself than anyone else had seen, apart from me. Don't push him Alec, not in this. There is no deadline for love. Work is our priority."

"Message understood. Now, if you wouldn't mind..? I'd rather not have an audience while I dress."

She smirked at him, but headed for the living room regardless. "You've nothing I haven't seen before - and way more impressive than yours."

Trevelyan dressed quickly and wandered out into the kitchen area to find Moneypenny making tea.  "He needs more than one cup to function," she nodded towards the bathroom.  Moneypenny turned to face Trevelyan leaning back against the kitchen counter.  "One thing you need to understand, Alec.  What happens within the walls of this building stays here. This is his safe haven. He lets his guard down, well as much as he is going to, when he is here," she turned back to fuss with Q's mug.  "The breakdown in Q Branch the other day was a rarity.  Those have only ever happened within these walls. He never even broke down like that in Medical, not even after he woke up from surgery.  As I'm sure you've read by now," referring to the copies of Q's medical reports, "it's one of the main concerns of Psyche.  He's one stubborn little shite."

"Tea. You made tea." Q appeared hair damp and half way tamed, wearing a well-worn Doctor Who t-shirt and having pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms that Trevelyan recognized, a pair of his old bottoms that he had left at Q's old flat. They were far too big for him.  Draw string pulled as tight as it could be.  Way too long for him and so large that he had actually pulled them on over his leg brace.   Trevelyan couldn't help but smile hopefully at the thought that Q had kept his clothing.  

"You are a goddess, Moneypenny.  Marry me, have my babies, and make me tea forever."  Q kissed her gently on her upturned cheek.  "Making me tea are the key words there, Moneypenny and chocolate pastries are a necessity too.   We can forego the babies." he smiled at her taking a cup from her.  

"You just remember how much of a goddess I am the next time you phone and wake me up in the middle of the night because you can't find your favorite cardigan.   And we can definitely forget the babies. Don't think I'm your type, love."  

Trevelyan sat at the kitchen table amazed at how comfortable the banter between the two of them was. How easily they moved around each other in Q's kitchen, a familiarity was there.  It was obvious that they had spent many hours together here while he was gone.  Could he and Q ever get to this level of comfort between them after everything that had happened between them?

It was at that moment that Trevelyan's mobile rang.  "Can you not be back in the country for more than a few hours before starting shite, you bloody bastard."  Trevelyan answered it, no 'hi' or 'hello', just the normal bickering one came to expect between Trevelyan and Bond.  

"No I'm not at my flat."  Q and Moneypenny both stood leaning on the kitchen counter sipping their tea watching Trevelyan's animated conversation.  "That's none of your fucking business, James.  Oh no... It's not my job to smooth things over with Tanner for you.  Not my fault you're a cock up.  Alright.  Alright. I'll be there in a while. You're a bloody wanker I hope you know."  

Trevelyan disconnected the call and looked up to see Q and Moneypenny both smiling at him.  "What?  He is a wanker and you both know it."  He couldn't hold back his lopsided smirk seeing both of them staring at him. "More tea please, Moneypenny," holding his cup up towards her. "And I think you're a goddess too."

"Doesn't work when it comes from you, Trevelyan." she cautioned but poured him more tea.

"I'm special. She loves me more." Q added smugly.

 


	14. Chapter 14

The three parted company soon after entering the MI6 building, Q heading anxiously for the service elevator with Moneypenny tailing him, and Trevelyan making for the stairwell that would take him to the upper floors.  Trevelyan walked into the outer office without knocking and found the normally placid Tanner standing in the centre of the floor angrily brandishing a manila file.

“…And that’s just the incidents we know about.  What on Earth were you thinking?” Tanner spat.  Bond lounged sullenly in Moneypenny’s chair letting the Chief of Staff’s lecture wash over him.  He caught sight of Trevelyan in the doorway and grinned, eliciting a strangled frustrated growl from Tanner.  “M is waiting for you 006, please go right in,” Tanner snapped.

“Alright?” Trevelyan asked Bond, ignoring the puce faced man on the rug for the moment.

“Fine.  Had the dressing down by the organ grinder, now I have the monkey,” smirked Bond.  He shifted in the chair and Trevelyan noticed he was in some discomfort.  If Bond winced it was the equivalent of a normal person in agony.

“This ‘monkey’ is the one who has to account for your recklessness, both in financial terms and in apologies to offended governments.  M is bloody furious; I wouldn’t keep him waiting 006.”  Tanner thrust the file in Bond’s general direction.  “He is not going anywhere until you’re finished, then you will stick to him like glue and ensure he attends any and all appointments over the next few days.”

“Not his babysitter, Tanner.”  Alec griped, but actually some time spent with his oldest friend was a treat far too rare these days and would be a welcome distraction from his troubles with Q.  Moneypenny could handle the Quartermaster for a day or two, and he wouldn’t be far away if she needed assistance.  It might be a blessing in disguise.

“You are anything MI6 needs you to be, including a nursemaid to an overgrown child.  Whoever thought equipping you two with a licence to kill must have been certifiable.”

Trevelyan patted Tanner’s fuzzy-balding head as he walked to M’s door.  “Keep your wig on old man.  I’ll keep him out of trouble.”

“Christ!”  Tanner muttered, turning back to the recalcitrant Bond who was now grinning at his partner-in-crime’s retreating back.

Trevelyan came out of M’s office a while later almost as mad as Tanner was before he had been ushered into the inner sanctum of M’s office.

“You fucking wanker, James!” he started in on the other agent still seated at Moneypenny’s desk currently snooping through her desk drawers.  “Why is it that I not only get yelled at for shite that I’ve done but I get yelled at for the shite you did too and I wasn’t even close to being in that country at all! I am not your fucking babysitter, James!”

“Your flat or mine?” was all Bond asked closing the current drawer he was looking through.  “Or elsewhere?  Do you even have a flat or did they sell it?  You were gone a long time.”

“Of course I have a flat.  I was on a mission, you idiot! Not off playing dead somewhere like certain people I know,” Trevelyan tossed the file Tanner had handed to him earlier on Moneypenny’s desk. “Whose flat has the most alcohol?  Or are we going out?” he asked heading for the outer door, Bond trailing behind him.

Just as the doors to M’s office closed behind them, Trevelyan's mobile pinged with a text message from Moneypenny.   “Made it as far as lift doors.  He’s struggling.  Might have to push him in.” and then it pinged again.   “And remember… I am a goddess.”


	15. Chapter 15

The Quartermaster stood in front of the freight lift lost in the debate going on in his head.  Moneypenny stood next to him, a hand resting on the small of his back.  “Is this ever going to get any easier, Moneypenny,” he sighed leaning into her touch slightly.  “Alright..” he looked over at her and then back at the gaping doorway to the lift taking a deep breath.  “I’ve done it before.. well twice.. I can do this again. “  

"Fuck!" Trevelyan swore at his phone, and then again at his friend. "I assume you've already deposited your equipment?" Bond flashed the Walther in its holster and fished something that might once have been a radio from his pocket. Trevelyan frowned at the mangled palm full of shards and wires. "Q won't be happy with that. Lucky you, it's your day to be yelled at."

"Q's back? The last time we spoke he had no intention of ever setting foot in the building again. I had my doubts that he would ever make it back given the state he was in." Bond took several steps down the corridor before realising his friend was not at his shoulder. He turned to find the younger man glaring murderously.

"You've seen him? When?"

"Someone needed to keep an eye on him after you left. I was out of the country when the accident happened but visited as soon as I got back and was told." Trevelyan took several brisk steps towards him and Bond backed up.

"Go on."

"Well, he kicked me out after the second visit, but once he was home... Moneypenny didn't have a lot of options to call on. He wasn't happy about it but needs must."

"You fucking bastard!" Trevelyan's fist connected before Bond could react. Afterwards he blamed it on the injuries he was already carrying but he had to wonder if he hadn't half expected it and allowed it to happen. It was a long time since Trevelyan had managed to deck him with a single punch.

“What the fuck was that for, Alec!”  Bond rose a little slower than he should have, mission injury hidden underneath his suit jacket.

“You stay away from him, you fucking bastard.  You knew!” in that moment realizing that Bond, and everyone else, had known and not told him.   “You knew and didn’t tell me!   I thought we were friends. He almost died.   Fuck you Bond!’ he growled at him as he stomped off down the corridor.

“What the hell,  Alec.  Why would it matter to you,” Bond followed him down the corridor rubbing his jaw wondering if it would bruise by morning.   “You and the Quartermaster were no longer a thing.  You made it extremely clear.  Over and over again, for that matter, even sober.”

Trevelyan flicked him a finger behind his back determined to get as far from Bond as he could before the temptation to flatten him became overwhelming. Apparently Bond had a death wish however and grabbed his shoulder spinning him around.

Trevelyan gritted his teeth and glared, fingers flexing at his sides. "I was mad at him, just a stupid fucking argument that got out of hand. That didn't mean I stopped caring. But you... All of you... You had no right keeping it from me." He started along the corridor again, crashing through the doors to the stairwell. He stopped halfway down the first flight, looking up at Bond. "It wasn't fucking over, and I thought you of all people would have understood that."

Bond trailed after him towards Q-branch. He had the feeling both Q and Moneypenny might have his balls for setting Trevelyan on the warpath. The only solution was vodka, and a bloody lot of it, preferably before the big idiot got them both into more trouble with Tanner.

‘Well obviously I missed a memo somewhere saying you still had a hard on for the Quartermaster.  Where the hell do you think you are going Alec?” Bond caught up with him halfway down the corridor.  “Are you going to storm into Q Branch and do what?  Yell?  Shoot someone?” Bond grabbed Trevelyan's arm spinning him around, prepared to duck if another punch came.  

“This is no one’s fault, Alec.  Not mine. Not Q’s. Not Moneypenny’s.  And you should be thanking Moneypenny for being there…” Bond stopped in mid-sentence.  “Oh, I understand now.  You’ve seen him.  You’ve talked to him.  He didn’t take you back no questions asked, did he?  That is why you are so bloody pissy.” Bond smirked at him.  

"Fuck you James. Drop your kit off and say hello to the rest of the fucking in-crowd. When you're done, I'll be outside." Trevelyan turned to go back up the stairs but Bond stood in his way.

"Babysitter remember. Where I go, you go. Wouldn't want to leave me to cause ructions in Q-branch with your precious Quartermaster. Or start playing matchmaker in my own special way. Shooting you might make him feel sorry enough for you he'd take you back."

Bond shouldered through the doors with a sly grin. "Bastard!" Trevelyan yelled with feeling. After a second he followed, loitering by the door and glowering at all who dared approach.

It had taken the Quartermaster and Moneypenny a good twenty minutes to make the small trek down the corridor from the lift to Q Branch.  He had to stop twice on the way to gather himself back together.  For once it was fairly quiet in the department, but he knew that could change in a heartbeat.  “I think I can handle this for a little while, Moneypenny.” he gave her hand a small squeeze.  “You don’t have to babysit me all the time.”

“It’s not babysitting, Q.  It’s a good excuse to keep me away from boring filing which I hate.”

Q and Moneypenny had just started to speak with R when Bond strode through the doors.  “Quartermaster, it’s good to see you back.  I have equipment to return to you.” he strode right up to the main workstation of Q Branch.

Q startled and then gathered his wits. "Oh. Yes of course. What do you have? And, um, good to see you back Bond, I'm not fully up to speed yet on the status of all agents. Forgive me."

Bond handed over the gun and then dropped the small mess of a radio onto the workstation. "Good to see not much has changed in my absence you incompetent git" Q murmured with the trace of a smile. "That's your freebie. Normal yelling will resume the next time your sorry arse comes in here with shreds of carefully constructed tech."

Bond smirked and leaned closer, poking the remains towards Q with a flirtatious gesture. "Only one freebie Q? Not much of a welcome back if I don't give you an excuse to call me names is it?" He glanced across to where Trevelyan waited at the door out of hearing range but glaring so hard Bond was amazed he hadn't died on the spot.

"You're an idiot 007 and I'm too tired for playing games. One chance is generous. And what's up with Alec? He looks like he's chewing a wasp."

“You tell me, Q?  What is up with Alec?” Bond raised a questioning eyebrow at him.   “Seems he has been feeling a little left out lately… uninformed.”

“Maybe I need to reassess calling you a git.  Fucking bastard is more like it.” Q added not backing down from Bond.

“Stay out of this, Bond.” Moneypenny added stepping up next to Q and inserting herself into the conversation.  

Q took that opportunity to move away and headed over to where Trevelyan was standing near the outer doors looking very impatient.  “Alec…?” the younger man questioned.

Trevelyan scowled down at him, arms folded defensively. "Even that wanker, Q? Every fucking body in MI6, except me? Well fine, I think I get the message now loud and clear. I fucked it up and there is no forgiveness. Move on Alec and let Q do the same. I need to be out of here. Don't rely on Bond to take care of you, he doesn't have a heart."

The doors swung closed behind him leaving Q gaping after him. Suddenly he just felt too weary to cope with other people. "I'll be in my office Moneypenny" he said as he passed her, ignoring Bond's self-satisfied smirk. "Tea would be fortifying."

Bond caught up with Trevelyan who was headed for the lifts and out of MI6 as quick as possible.  Bond fell into step with him.  “Babysitter remember.  Can’t just go off and leave me."

“Fuck you James.” Trevelyan snarled at him.  “How much vodka do you have at your flat?  I’ve already drank all there was at mine.”

“A bottle or two the last time I looked.” Trevelyan gave him a questioning look.  “What?  You’ve been gone for six months.  I don’t drink that shite unless it is the only thing left.”

“Two isn’t going to be enough.  Not near enough,” Trevelyan kept walking eyes straight ahead.  We need to stop at the closest Off License and do it quick.”

Moneypenny sent a tech to make the Quartermaster a cup of tea and then headed into his office to find him furiously typing at his keyboard.  “If you could call a cab for me, Moneypenny or get a MI6 driver, I would be forever grateful.  I’ll be completely ready to leave in just a few moments,” Moneypenny could see the tremors starting to appear in his hands as he continued pounding the keys of his keyboard.

“What are you doing, love? What just happened?” she came to stand right behind him placing a hand carefully on his shoulder not wanting to startle him anymore that he already was.

“Sending M an email.  I can’t do this Moneypenny.” he swung his office chair around to face her.  “I want to go home, Moneypenny. I’m done.  I can’t play these games.”

Moneypenny took his right hand and lifted it away from the keyboard. "Stop and think. Don't do anything in haste because those two idiots have upset you somehow. If you want to leave for the day I won't stop you though.  Just give me a second to grab my things and-"

"No, you stay. I want to be on my own for a while. I haven't had a moment to myself in the last few days and I just feel... Crowded, I suppose." He squeezed her fingers reassuringly.   "Too much going on in my head and I need not to be around people."

Moneypenny kissed the top of his head. "Damn those stupid boys. Promise me you're ok?" His answering smile was pathetic, but she could see he'd reached emotional overload and just needed downtime. "Call me later and I'll come over if you need me. Crap movie and quality ice cream."

"Not tonight, but soon." He promised, gathering up a pile of papers and then setting them down again with no desire to take them home with him. She kissed his cheek and left with the task of securing him a car and driver.

As soon as she was out of Q's office she fired off an angry text to Trevelyan. "The promise to kill you stands. What the hell did you do?"

A couple of minutes later her phone pinged. "Gave him what he wanted. We're finished for good. Go away. Drinking."


	16. Chapter 16

"Do you need assistance getting inside, Quartermaster? " offered the MI6 Driver that had transported him back to his building.

"I'm fine... Fine.  Thank you for the offer though," Q replied.  "I should be alright from here." unless I get accosted by Trevelyan again he thought to himself. Which after their last conversation, he highly doubted that was ever going to happen again.   Q unlocked his securities and made his way inside getting no farther than the lower level workshops. Mind racing in 5000 different directions and unable to focus until something lying on one of the work benches caught his eye. Slowly he became lost in rebuilding and restructuring a robotics project that had been started by Boothroyd ages ago. A few moments of distraction turned into two hours lost in pieces, wires , cabling and processors until in a fluke slip he managed to burn his left hand soldering parts together.  Cursing himself for being so careless his anger at himself quickly progressed to opening the floodgates and cursing Trevelyan instead.

"You fucking bastard, Alec." He screamed as the soldering iron went flying across the workshop.  "I will NOT let you have this control over me," as the pieces that he was just working on joined the soldering iron and went flying also.  "Fuck you Trevelyan. I control my life.  And I will NOT allow you to break me or hurt me again."  Everything on the workbench went scattering as he swept it off the counter onto the floor crashing and sending bits skittering across the floor.

Q stood there breathing heavily seething in anger until he made his way to the freight lift leaving his cane on the floor in the scattered remains of his... Boothroyd's  project.  On the second story, he rummaged through some papers in his desk before finally coming up with the one scrap he was searching.   Mobile in hand, the young man dialed the number written on that single small scrap.  

When a voice at the other end of the line answered, Q swallowed hard but didn't hesitate.  "Michael, it's Q.  Yes.. Yes.. I'm fine. Well, a little worse for wear physically but everything else is intact.  Yes.. Wrong place, wrong time."  The banter continued back and forth, lighthearted for a few minutes, with Q even laughing occasionally.

"No, you're right. This isn't completely a social call but it is nice to chat.  What I was calling about to see if possibly that job offer consulting with the DS&T would happen to still be on the table?  I think it's time for a change."  Q listened to the comments on the other end of the international call. "I am flattered, Michael. Then I'll wait to hear back from you and then we can coordinate flight arrangements to D.C.  Thank you, Michael. We'll talk soon."  

Q sighed deeply as he disconnected the call sinking down into the sofa, exhaustion hitting him with a force.  Pulling out his mobile once more he dashed off a quick text. "Run away with me, Moneypenny.  Marry me, bring me chocolate and make me tea. Will can still forego the babies".

 


	17. Chapter 17

Trevelyan tipped the dregs of the bottle into his open mouth and then set it on the floor by his chair. It tipped over with a soft thunk and rolled away, coming to rest against the sofa where Bond stretched out, his feet dangling off the edge. Trevelyan kicked out at them roughly jerking the older man back to semi-consciousness.

"Bottle's done," he growled at Bond who blinked at him blearily. He pushed onto his elbows and immediately regretted it as the room swam.

"Fuck Alec, haven't you drunk yourself happy yet?" Cautiously he placed first one foot and then the other on the floor, letting his spinning head find its equilibrium. He squinted at his friend. "You look like shit. Come to bed and forget about him, for fucks sake."

Trevelyan smirked but his eyes were like ice. "You offering to make me forget James?" He pulled the other man unsteadily to his feet. Bond fell against him and found himself staring into Trevelyan's killer face, all cold grin and narrowed eyes. Trevelyan's arms were around him, part holding him up, part not letting him go.

"Fuck off Alec, don't give me any of your pissed shit. This isn't about being angry with me.  If you're still wanking over the Quartermaster you should be round there trying to get back into his bed, not mine." He pushed himself out of Alec's embrace and wobbled towards the bedroom. His injured shoulder glanced off the doorframe and not even three quarters of a bottle of single malt was enough anesthetic to numb the agony. "Shit!" He slid to the floor and sat gasping through the pain until strong arms hauled him to his feet once more.

"Should've gone to Medical you wanker" Trevelyan muttered, steering him to the bed and dropping him to the mattress. "Too pissed to look at it; you'll have to suffer." He started on unfastening Bond's trousers until Bond kicked him off.

"I can undress myself" he whined. "And I don't trust you in this mood. You keep your hands to yourself you bastard or you take the sofa. Got it?"

Trevelyan kicked off his jeans and yanked his shirt over his head, leaving both in a heap on the floor. He stumbled into bed and immediately closed his eyes until he felt the mattress dip and the light click off. "Wouldn't want to fuck you anyway; God knows where you've been."

"Go to sleep you tosser."


	18. Chapter 18

The lift gate opened and heels smartly clipped across the polished wooden floor stopping in front of the sofa.  “You little shite!” giving Q a gentle but determined shake of a shoulder.  “Leave me on my own for a few days to sort things out, you wanted.   I leave you alone for one night and see what happens.  You sleep on the sofa and now you are going be grouching for days in pain. Come on.” She shook him again finally getting him to stir a little.   “You are such a little tosser some days.  I have caffeine.  Come on Q. Open your eyes and you can have some.” She carefully helped him to sit making sure his leg was in a comfortable position and then headed to the kitchen.

“Morn Moneypenny,” or at least that was what it was supposed to sound like.  “I love you too.”  Carefully picking up the steaming takeaway cup she had left for him, cradling it in front of his face.  “Run away with me, Moneypenny.” slowly bringing the cup to take a small sip. “You are a goddess.  I don’t care what Tanner says about you.”

In mid stride, she spun back around, hands on her hips. “Just what does Tanner say about me?” She had that look in her eyes ready to defend herself and take Tanner down at the same time.  Q just smirked at her over the edge of his cup. “You are such a little shite!  And you need to quit texting me in the middle of the night proposing, love.  Or at least think up a better come on line.”

“Won’t you run away with me, Moneypenny?’ the young man asked her again.

“As much as I love you, Q.  It won’t work.  You snore.  I snore.  There isn’t a bathroom large enough in the world to house both our hair products.”  She mussed his hair as she rounded the sofa sitting a plate full of pastries on the table in front of him   “We’d end up getting all our clothes jumbled together and forget what belongs to who.  And honestly, I don’t look good in cardigans.  Although, I do have a great green dress that I bet would fit and you’d look amazing in it.”  Moneypenny snuggled into the sofa right next to him so their shoulders were touching.  “Even if we would forego the baby thing and you liked girls, it would be a little creepy.  Bordering on incest.  And since you don’t, we can’t forget the fact that eventually you would get bored and cheat on me.  I would never be able to take care of that itch you have for a large muscular blonde man to pound you into the mattress.”

It was at that moment, Moneypenny glanced Q’s way to see the young man staring off straight head and she knew that look on his face.  “Oh my god…” rushed out. “You are serious.”  Q sat his cup down on the table without saying a word.  Awkwardly pulling himself up off the sofa, he headed towards the bedroom area.  “What have you done, Q?  I know that look on your face.”  She jumped up and headed after him.  “Don’t you limp away from me, you little wanker.  What is going on?”

Q headed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.  Moneypenny barged right in after him.  “If you think you can hide in here from me, you have another thing coming, Q!   Boundaries disappeared a long time ago between you and me, if you hadn’t noticed.  What have you done?”


	19. Chapter 19

“We’re out of vodka,” Trevelyan gripped, kicking the freezer door shut viciously. The fourth bottle in less than three days stood empty on the counter and a hangover was starting to nibble at the edges of his sanity.

Bond looked up from where he lounged on the sofa with a book. He had run out of palatable booze early the previous evening, so was in a better state than his friend, though the shoulder nagged in a way it probably shouldn't.

“For Christ’s sake Alec, it's just gone ten in the morning. Time to give it a rest.”

For most of the previous night he had watched Trevelyan curl possessively around the last bottle of vodka, cradling it to his chest while he muttered about the Quartermaster and why it had all gone wrong. Again. Bond quit listening around the same time he quit drinking and had formed a plan instead.

“We’re going out.” Bond continued. “Go back to your place and get cleaned up. Meet you in Medical in a couple of hours.”

“Medical?” Trevelyan looked shocked. “Don’t tell me you’re going there voluntarily? Fuck, you must be in shit-loads of agony.”

“Which you’d know if you’d dragged yourself out of the bottle,” Bond said darkly. “Seriously Alec if I have to listen once more to you tell me you’ve ruined your last chance of happiness I will kill you. Or myself. Either will do.”

“I’m supposed to escort you to Medical.” Trevelyan sulked, already pulling on his jacket with the promise of more to drink. “Two days ago, but better late than never.  I’m presentable enough.  Got clothes in the office, I’ll get a shower there.  Not wasting drinking time.”

By late evening the pair were well on the way to drunk again, leaning against the bar in a noisy nightclub watching the dancers bounce and sway to the pulsing music.  A brunette in a tight red dress squeezed between them and leaned over the bar trying to attract the barman’s attention.  Her red-haired friend wriggled behind her, giggling at Bond’s smirk.  “Good evening ladies.  Let me assist.”   A round of drinks arrived as if by magic and the girls fluttered their fake eyelashes at the handsome blond in the expensive suit who insisted on paying.

“I’m Lexie, and she’s Allie,” the redhead simpered, pressing herself shamelessly against Bond.  

“Bond.  James Bond.   Pleased to meet you lovely Lexie.”  He gave her his most devastating smile, his hand coming to rest lightly in the small of her back.  “And this is my friend, Alec Trevelyan.  Alec, meet Lexie and Allie.”  Bond grinned and pushed the dark-haired girl towards his friend who watched her warily.  “Alec’s had a bit of a tough time, but he loves brunettes.”

“James…” Trevelyan warned, but the pretty dark-haired girl was already sliding into his personal space.  She ran a manicured hand up his arm and leaned into him.

“Hi Alec.  Want to dance?”


	20. Chapter 20

The door to Mallory's office opened and Q stopped just inside leaning against the door frame. "Thank you again, M.  I sincerely appreciate your patience with me.  And I am sure the extra few days will help as I said.  Again, thank you." he added quickly exiting before M changed his mind closing the door behind him.   Q leaned heavily against the door and sighed when he heard "Quartermaster..." in that Moneypenny "what the bloody hell are you up to now" voice.

Q looked at his feet as if something had just caught his eye and didn't even acknowledge that she was speaking at him.  Moneypenny stood from her desk placing herself right in front of him so he couldn't ignore her.  "Q...."

"Oh Ms. Moneypenny. I didn't see you standing there.  Is there something I can help you with?" trying to act nonchalant. He had been avoiding her interrogation of playing 20 questions with him for the last day and a half since he had gotten a call back from Michael. Moneypenny's phone rang at the opportune time, M calling her into his office, giving him the chance to escape her clutches again.  The Quartermaster quickly acquired an MI6 Driver and car and headed back to his flat putting off the inevitable as long as he possibly could.  

Two hours later the securities disengaged, engaged and the freight lift kicked on.  The Quartermaster sat on his sofa awaiting his doom. Moneypenny stalked directly to him, the sound of her heels echoed through the flat. "Would you like to tell me why the fuck I am assigned to accompany the Quartermaster to Washington D.C. because it seems he is too valuable of an asset to just let roam around without Field Agent protection." arms crossed tapping one foot on the floor she waited. "Q..... You bastard."  getting nothing but a blank stare from him.

Moneypenny finally knelt in front of him laying a hand on his knee deciding on a different approach.  "Q, love. Tell me what is going on because I know something is.  You may be able to pull one over on M but not me. No boundaries. Remember Q.  Who's been here with you over the last six months? Also, I dare say I've probably seen you naked and slept in your bed more than Trevelyan ever has.  Definitely not doing what you and Trevelyan were doing but.."  She moved to sit next to him on the sofa. "I know what you told M is utter bollocks so..."

Q ran a hand through his hair then played with the straps on his leg brace.  Then the words just fell out almost as if they were one long word. "TheCIAhasbeenofferingmajobsforthelast2yearssoIdecidedtoseewhattheyareoffering."  

"You are fucking what? " she jumped up off the sofa and headed to the kitchen. "Oh this conversation is going to need wine. Definitely going to need wine and I don't care what time it is.  You what?" she rounded back on him throwing her hands up in the air and then headed back towards the kitchen. Q sat staring off out into his flat, jaw set determined.  He needed something. He needed to move forward and this was an option if he could never make this work in Q Branch.  And then there was the issue of Alec that could possibly never resolve itself either. He needed something settled.  This wasn’t running away.  It was a possible new start.

Q rose from the sofa holding on the back to get his balance having left his cane somewhere in the flat.  He pulled himself up straight and summoned up the calm decisiveness of the Quartermaster and was waiting for her when she turned back from the kitchen wine glass in one hand, bottle in the other.  "I would appreciate you going with me, Moneypenny.  I know I would not be where I am now if it were not for you.  And to be honest, I am not sure I can make the trip without you. Will you..."

But Moneypenny cut him off with a wave of her wine bottle calling for silence as she took a long sip of her wine.  "And do you know why that is Q?   It's because I am a goddess and you'd best keep that in mind."  she smirked at him with a self-satisfied look.  "And if you do, I may still bring you tea and chocolate."

 


	21. Chapter 21

Trevelyan rolled over and encountered a body that was far too small and soft to be Bond. He allowed his eyes to flicker open and experienced a fleeting moment of joy at the dark head burrowed half under the duvet. “Q?” He croaked, even as he remembered the brunette from the previous evening. There was movement from the other side of her and the redhead stretched, pushing up onto the pillows so she could see him.

“Morning,” she said brightly. The duvet bunched at her waist leaving her heavy breasts bare, large dark nipples slightly perked in the cool room. She noticed where his eyes lingered and cheekily pinched one till it was hard, smirking when he shifted uncomfortably. “Fancy a quickie? Your friend went out, and she won’t wake up.”

“Third choice in the bed. I’m flattered,” he said sarcastically, but he didn’t stop her when she clambered over her sleeping friend to straddle his lap. His large hands gripped her hips as she rubbed against him, coaxing his interest to life.

“You’re the only one I didn’t make come. Going for the hat trick,” she said breathlessly as she slid her wet heat over his stiffening cock, intent on her own pleasure rather than his. Not that he was complaining; it was refreshing to abdicate responsibility for their mutual orgasm completely. “Condom” she groaned, stopping her frantic motion only long enough to pull him to fully hard and let him roll one on, then she sank onto him and resumed.

She wasn’t unattractive in the cold light of day even if she was a little theatrical for his taste. He watched her large breasts sway and bounce and listened to her breathy moans and allowed it to sweep him along until she came noisily and far more dramatically than their encounter required. He came with a grunt a minute later and was glad when she hopped out of bed with no further ceremony taking the condom with her.

"Christ!" He shoved a hand through his hair and picked up his mobile, dialing Q’s number. He had no idea what he wanted to say, just needed to hear his voice but it went straight to voicemail. He listened to Q’s precise diction as it suggested he leave a message, but when it came to the beep he could find no words and hung up without speaking.

“Come on Allie.” The redhead was back, shaking her friend awake. “Time to go.” Allie rolled out of bed and ruffled her hair. She was slim like Q, but the hair was much longer and she had soft curves where there should be lean muscle. Pretty but not what he wanted.

He watched in miserable silence as the pair dressed chattering like brightly coloured birds. “Help yourselves to coffee while I dress” he suggested and he sighed with relief when they left the room.

By the time he wandered into the kitchen Bond had returned and Lexie was wrapped around him with her tongue halfway down his throat. Bond rolled his eyes at Trevelyan who snorted with laughter, drawing Allie’s attention. She thrust her mobile at him. “Stick your number in my address book please?”

“Sure.” He tapped a number from memory and handed it back, catching Bond’s eye. “Tanner’s” he mouthed at the grinning man. Bond was about to do the same when his own mobile rang

James glanced at the international number calling and answered it to be greeted by, “Bond.  Well, it sounds as if my call might have interrupted something.” In response to hearing Lexie giggling in the background.

“So what trouble have you gotten yourself into this time, Felix?” Bond muttered in between being mauled by the girl sitting on his lap.  “Am I going to have to rescue your sorry arse again?”  Trevelyan gave him a questioning look asking if there was there was something urgent.

“I’m not in any trouble, Bond.  Although I daresay you might be.” Bond could almost hear the smug grin that was crossing Felix’s face. “Let’s just say I’m calling to gloat for once.  Rubbing a little salt into the wound.”  Bond was listening with mobile stuck between his ear and his shoulder as he put Tanner’s contact information into Lexie's mobile with a small self-satisfied smirk at Trevelyan's ingenuity for once.

“Go ahead and gloat you tosser.  I have no idea what you have to gloat about though.  I seem to recall I was the one you saved your sorry arse the last time.”

“That may be so, Bond.  You have one up on me for that,” Felix laughed. “But I think I have the ultimate winner this time, or rather my Uncle does.”  Felix paused wanting to completely catch Bond off guard and then he let the bomb drop.  “What would you say to my Uncle courting your Quartermaster at the moment and giving him the grand tour, along with one of your extremely beautiful dark haired field operatives.”

Bond jumped to his feet shoving the girl who had been wallowing on his lap to the floor, “What are you talking about Felix!”

“Time to go, girls. Business calls.”  Trevelyan was hastily shoving their evening guests toward the outer door knowing something big was going down and being able to get on the move quickly may be needed.  “Yes, yes… call us again.” he halfheartedly commented at their protests.

“Say that again Felix,” Bond was growling into the mobile looking at Trevelyan with a look of total outrage. “You fucker, Felix.  I am putting you on speaker so you can tell Trevelyan yourself just what you told me.”   Felix repeated word for word what he had just told Bond, obviously very pleased with himself.

Bond rounded on Trevelyan as he disconnected the call.  “This is all your fault you, bloody bastard.  You and your fucking ego.  So help me if we lose Q to the CIA, M won’t need to send you on a one way mission because I will kill you myself.  YOU are going to fix this Alec.  I don’t care what it takes.  You are going to fix this.”

Trevelyan dialed Q’s number and swore when it connected straight to voicemail.  “Q you little shit, what the hell are you playing at? Why are you in the States talking to the fucking CIA? Shit, I’m sorry. Shit, shit. Q please, just call me? We need to talk before you commit to doing something stupid. Please.” He disconnected with a string of creative expletives and immediately dialed again.

Bond watched the other man pace anxiously as he waited for the call to connect.  Moneypenny eventually picked up on the eighth ring, just as Trevelyan was considering throwing his phone at the wall in frustration. “Hi Alec, what can I do for you?” She asked cheerfully.

“Don’t give me cheery hellos Eve, what the hell is going on? I know you’re with him and I know where you are. I just need to know what he’s doing there.”

“One minute…” Trevelyan heard her excuse herself from the mutter of background conversation followed by footsteps and a door closing. “Alec, don’t be mad… they’ve made him an offer and he’s considering it…”

“Mad? Christ Moneypenny, I’m not mad, I’m bloody panicking. Why is he doing this?  Why now?”  Trevelyan felt sick at the thought of losing Q personally, but professionally it would be a disaster for MI6. M surely couldn’t know or he wouldn’t have sanctioned the trip. “I need to talk to him, talk him out of it. It's crazy.”

“He doesn’t want to talk it through Alec. He wants to make a rational decision, not one based on the emotions that are drowning him. You need to let this be or you’ll push him the wrong way.”  

“You can’t think he’s right,” he protested desperately.

“It's not our decision Alec. He deserves something good in his life, and if he thinks this is it then I’ll support him in it.”

“I’m flying out. I won’t let him do this, even if it means I have to walk out of his life forever to get him to stay.”

“Oh no! You are not flying out here, Alec Trevelyan.  That is the last thing he needs is you flouncing in here acting like a kicked puppy.” she snapped at him.  “And if I remember right you were the one who just pushed him away again.”

“I didn’t push him away.  I gave him...”

“Don’t give me that shite, Alec.” Taking a deep breath trying to rein her anger in considering where she was at the moment.  “We’ll be home in a couple of days.  You can talk to him then,“ she sighed.  “Just please let him have these few days to clear his head and maybe see where life is going to take him now, Alec.   You owe him that much.”   Moneypenny disconnected the call without another word and headed back to where Q was talking with some people whom he knew from working on a previous joint mission with their agency. 

“Alright, Moneypenny?” Q questioned when she returned to his side.

“Nothing to worry about, love.  Just missing paperwork back home.”

Q looked at her intently for a moment, “For a trained field agent, you don’t lie well, Moneypenny.  Remember… no boundaries. Talk later over dinner.” he added before his attention shifted back to the others in the group.   

“This place was recommended today. Apparently they do a steak to die for,” Q said, holding the door for Moneypenny. She had been quiet since the phone call in the afternoon, not brooding exactly, but definitely concerned. When they were seated and scanning the menus he said “Spill it. And no lies please.”

“When do I ever give you anything but the brutal truth?” She pouted. Q looked unimpressed however. “Fine. It was Alec. Somehow he learned what we’re doing here and he’s pissed.”

“Oh. I’d rather hoped to keep it to myself until I’d made a decision.”  He fiddled with his napkin. “Perhaps that helps. Complete break can only be a good thing.” The uncertainty was there in his voice and Moneypenny wondered if it was her cue to talk him out of it.

“Make the decision for the right reasons Q. Alec will be around MI6 until he retires. No one will ever succeed in killing him off, he’s too bloody stubborn to die.” Q laughed at the truth of it. “But… And I’d be failing in my duty as friend if I didn’t give you the full picture… He still loves you.”

“He loves the idea of me. Not the real me. Discussion over.”

“Fine, no more to be said,” she held up her hands in submission, “tell me about the offer instead.”

****  
  



	22. Chapter 22

Q grinned for the first time in quite a while becoming animated as he talked, gesturing with his hands more as he became enthused with his subject.  “It’s a fabulous opportunity heading up the counterterrorism cyber security team.  It will link quite closely with field work but I won’t obviously be out in the field myself.  Of course they say unlimited resources but we both know that is dependent on budget constraints just like every place else. There’s plenty of opportunity to work with new technology too, and I get to pick my own team.”

“Sounds right up your street,” she smiled, pleased to see him excited.  “Where will you be based?”

"Mostly here, Moneypenny, in D.C. with occasional travel to somewhere I can't remember in the central States where there is a massive data storage center.  Some place where there are cows and pigs" he made a disdainful face.  “It comes with a flat if I want it, which can have any adaptations I might need.  It’s a wonderful opportunity… I’d be mad to turn it down, but…” 

“But…?”  She covered his fingers and squeezed, encouraging him to voice his concerns.

“It’s a long way from home Moneypenny.  A long way from the people who matter to me.  There’s one person I don’t want to be without.  I want you to come with me and join the team.”

"Hear me out before you say anything, Moneypenny."  He took a deep breath before he jumped into the speech he had been practicing in his head.  "You are the closest thing I have to family.  You are my family.  You know me inside and out. All my eccentricities, which is really unfortunate for you."  he gave her hand a small squeeze.

"I'm not sure at the moment I can be without you, Moneypenny.  And blunt honesty as you said, when I ask you to run away with me there are parts of me that mean it, even though I know we aren't really compatible. I mean seriously, we both like men." He smiled at her trying to lighten the conversation. "But I do love you, Moneypenny.  You are the ruthless protective sister I never had."  He poured her another glass of wine from the bottle chilling at their table. 

"I may not be able to be what you need in life in the long run,  Moneypenny but for now I can be your best girlfriend." he smiled at her.  "Consider it Moneypenny. Would you?  There are great opportunities for you here.  An opportunity to be back in the field.  And there is an entire new group of men here to peruse.  Might find Mr. Right here across the pond."

Moneypenny frowned at him and leaned back in her chair.  “So… you want me to give up everything and move halfway across the world so you can play at American spy?  And you want me to give up my safe, secure office job and send me back into the field, armed and dangerous, but on this side of the pond?  To do what?  I don’t know Q, its a big upheaval.”

His face fell at her obvious reluctance.  He wanted, even needed, this opportunity, but doing it without Moneypenny by his side was terrifying.  He could do it but… “Moneypenny.  Evie, please?  They have offered a two month secondment, with all details ironed out with MI6, without me having to get involved in the negotiations.  You could join me.  If you aren’t settled by the end of that time I’d let you go home, I promise.  Flatshare all paid for, company car… well I can’t drive it so you may as well…” he chuckled.  “There are hot men on the team…” he wheedled.

“Really Q, you think I’m that shallow?  I’ll turn my life on its head to work with hot US agents?  I’d pick your dirty pants off the bathroom floor for the opportunity of getting laid by said hot agents?”  He looked so miserable she stood up so she could lean across the table and nudge his jaw up with her finger, pressing her lips against his.  “Two months out of my life isn’t so bad for you honey. If it all goes horribly wrong I will abandon you and go home, but if it can be smoothed over with M, I’m ready for a challenge and change of scenery.”

“You’ll do it?” he asked, still not certain he understood that she’d agreed.

“Yes you idiot.  Bloody hell Q, we’re going to work for the super-spooks.”

Back at their hotel,  Moneypenny curled on Q’s bed with his head resting on her lap, sipping hot chocolate. She ran her fingers through Q’s hair turning it into a dark chaotic halo around his upturned face. “Q?”

“Hm?” He said lazily, butting his head gently against her hand like a cat so she would continue to pet him.

“You need to talk to Alec when we get home tomorrow?” She wound her fingers in his hair so he yelped when he tried to jerk away.

“Ouch! Uncalled for Moneypenny. We were having such a lovely time and you ruined it.”

Her fingertips worked tiny circles over his scalp soothing the sudden tension.  “Listen to me for a minute. Before you had your stupid fight you were all set to move in together. You were serious about him Q-“

“And that got me my heart broken and a flat I couldn't afford to pay for on my own. He decided he didn't want to be with me.”

“He was having doubts about living with you. You blew it out of proportion.”

Q huffed in irritation, extracting himself from her lap and sitting up to glare sullenly at her. “Is there a point to us rehashing this argument that we've had a million times over? I know I behaved like a possessive idiot and he’s still an insufferable commitment-phobe. Things changed for the worse and its time we moved on.”

“Neither of you have,” she said pointedly, matching his glare. “My point, if you’d shut up and let me make it, is that this is the ideal opportunity to sit down with him and talk it out properly. End it properly then come back here a free man and have some fun with me.”

“Fun with you Moneypenny?” He leered. “Why Miss Moneypenny, I’m not that kind of boy!”

She whacked him with a pillow, laughing when he pretended to fall off the bed. “Meet people with me? Double date sexy American guys with guns. Or pig farmers if we end up in the godforsaken data centre in the middle of nowhere.”

He chuckled and clutched his chest dramatically. “Men in wellies stinking of pig shit. My dream come true.” Seeing her expression had turned serious, he sighed. “Ok, I’ll talk to him, but if he starts being an arse I’m walking away.”  If only walking away was that easy, he thought sadly.

****  



	23. Chapter 23

Bond opened the door of his flat to find Trevelyan in the same spot he had left him in four hours earlier.  Sitting on the sofa in his boxers in front of the television watching the Cooking Channel. It had been Julia Child earlier and now he had progressed onto Jamie's Kitchen.   Bond couldn't tell if Trevelyan was actually watching or just staring off into space lost somewhere in his head.  "Alec... Alec... Are you fucking listening to me."

"Fuck off, James."  At least he had finally gotten a growl out of him.  Bond stood directly in front of him so he couldn't get lost again in mindless chopping and sautéed vegetables.

"You are going to get your arse up and get cleaned up.     Pull your bloody self together and quit acting like a mooning teenage girl."  Bond held out a scrap of paper to him.  "Arrival Time, Terminal and Flight Number.  I managed to weasel it out of Tanner this morning."

Bond headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.   "And what am I supposed to do with this you arsehole."  Trevelyan muttered sounding utterly dejected.  "He's made up his mind."

"Fucking hell, Alec."  Bond stood in the kitchen doorway staring at him. "You are going to meet his flight, keep it under control, and fix this.  You love him. He loves you. Simple."  He went back in the kitchen to grab his cup. "Christ, I don't understand how a trained Double O can be such a whiner and an idiot."

"I am not a whiner, you tosser."

"Fucking git."  As the music of Nigella Bites filtered in from the other room.  

"Wanker."

"Christ Alec. Take a shower. You still stink like vodka. That will really impress Q."

Passengers streamed past Trevelyan without him noticing, so focused was he on watching for a familiar figure. When Q limped into view, Moneypenny at his side, all the blond’s carefully rehearsed words flew out of his head.  Q and Moneypenny saw him at the same time, Q halting a step behind the dark haired woman. One hurried whispered conversation later and Moneypenny was off in search of luggage while Q walked painfully towards his ex.

"You’re in pain,” Trevelyan  said unnecessarily. Q raised an eyebrow and rubbed at the stiff thigh muscle humming in agreement.  “I cancelled your driver. Thought we could drop Moneypenny home and then go somewhere…” he swore under his breath at Q’s startled look but continued. “I think we should talk about… Things.”

Q nodded, pulling at the hem of his jacket nervously. “Yes. Probably time to do that.  Past time. Clear things up” he babbled.

The ride to Moneypenny’s flat was a tense, quiet affair. When they arrived Trevelyan carried her luggage inside while she said goodbye to Q. “Keep your head, love. You know what you want to say, so make sure you say it. Good luck.” She brushed her lips lightly over Q’s and slammed the car door.

There was no neutral ground and Q didn’t want to turn his home into a war zone so they drove to Trevelyan’s basement flat. “Drink?” Q accepted a glass of water and wisely said nothing when Trevelyan poured himself a vodka.  They leaned against the kitchen counter not knowing how to start.

Eventually Q said “I’ve accepted the position Alec. I’ll be in Washington for two months while we establish a new cyber terrorism team. Eve is coming with me.”

"I've tried to go back to Q Branch and it's just not possible at the moment.  And forcing it isn't going to work.  I need a change of scenery to get my feet back underneath me.  Put some of the nightmares behind me hopefully."

Trevelyan sucked in a breath. “Q, you can’t just leave. I know I haven’t handled things well, but please don’t go. I need you here. If we just talk about it…”

“We try to talk, but we’re saying the same things and not making any progress” Q sighed.  “You still think of me as the man you were with months ago, but I’ve changed, and not necessarily for the better.  The truth is Alec…” He took a long swallow of water and wished he’d opted for vodka instead.  “The truth is that I don’t want to be with you right now. I’m sorry.” He looked at his feet and willed the tears away that were already welling in his eyes.

Trevelyan was silent for a long minute while he fought to get himself under control. When he managed to force the words past his lips he stumbled over them. "Right now? Or ever? Q?”

“I don’t know.” Q whispered.  “If they offer me a permanent position…”

“No, Q. Two months. Shite, please Q, that's already a fucking eternity from where I’m standing.”

Q steeled himself to say the words he’d practiced with Moneypenny. “Alec we need to have a complete break while we work out what we want.”

“I know what I want.” Trevelyan interrupted desperately but Q plowed on.

“Go out and date, one night stands, women, men, whatever the hell you need to clarify things. Fuck other people Alec. I plan on living the single life to the full for a while. Hopefully it will help my perspective.”  It was cruel but necessary, but the devastation on Trevelyan's face almost made him take the words back.

“I love you” Trevelyan whispered, shoving the untouched vodka away.

“I know.” Q wouldn’t say it too or it would be his undoing. Tears fell unnoticed.  “I’m going to go. I’ll get a cab outside.”

He limped to the door but stopped when Trevelyan's hand fell on his shoulder. The taller man turned him and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, pressing his lips against Q’s forehead. “Two months. I’ll give you that but please come back.”

Q squeezed him lightly and pulled away too choked to speak. When the door closed behind him he finally let the tears fall.

  



	24. Chapter 24

At mid-morning, Q's clothes were packed except for his his good suits which he was leaving for the last thing. He hadn't slept a wink the night before after leaving Trevelyan's flat. He was even still wearing the same clothes he had worn on the flight home.  So lost in thought and engrossed in packing he didn't even hear the freight lift.

"You look like shite, love." Moneypenny said gently from the lounge, knowing better than to get too close and startle Q.  "Did it go that bad with Alec?" she moved up beside him and stood staring at his luggage along with him.  

"As well or bad as expected Moneypenny.  We agreed to take the two months to decide what each of us wants.  Live life.  Perspective Moneypenny.  He told me he loves me."  he sighed.  

Then abruptly trying to shake the gloom away, "So which suit or suits do you think I should take?" He had them laid out on his bed trying to decide which to pack.  

"Getting a little anxious there to head back, love" she smiled at him looking over what he had laid out.  

"Hot US agents await us or pig farmers, Moneypenny." he smirked at her.  "At least I won't have to put on appearances to look prim and proper there. I can keep the beard and the longer hair.  Become too much of a lazy git to deal with it otherwise."

"I like the beard, Q." she laughed at him. "Makes you look very professorial, love."

"Are you saying I'm boring, Moneypenny?!  I am not boring." He snarked at her.  "We'll just see who has the first date when we get to the States."

"Oh is that a challenge?  You are so on.  And you will lose." She called after him as he wandered around the flat looking for his carryall suit bag that he had laid down somewhere.

"Are you packed Moneypenny?  New flight arrangements are lying on the desk next to my keyboard."

She reviewed the new itinerary briefly. Glancing up she noticed that he had just stopped and was standing in the middle of the flat staring at her.  They both stood staring at each other knowing that the realization that they were actually doing this was sinking in.

"I'm going to keep my flat... the building here Moneypenny." he blurted out abruptly.  "It was Boothroyd's.  I just can't..." He swallowed hard.  The last few days had been long ones and his emotions were wearing thin.  "We'll always have a place to come back to stay or visit."  

She hurried over to him wrapping her arms around him tightly.  "It will all work out, love.  We can do this."

When the time came to lock up for the final time, Q did so with a sense of nervous excitement.  Moneypenny grinned at him and linked his arm, pulling him towards the taxi. “Adventure awaits, Q love. Things are going to be different around here. No moping, no moaning, just having a blast.”

“We are supposed to be working,” he chuckled, snuggling beside her in the back seat. “Got everything?”

“Got my makeup and my best friend, don’t need anything else.” She kissed his cheek sloppily and giggled when he scrubbed it away.

“We’ll never pull if you keep kissing me.  Did you bring me some pills for this god-awful flight?” He was beginning to feel the prickle of anxiousness at the back of his neck and it was spoiling his good mood.

“Of course.” Her phone pinged and she read the text. “James wishes us luck; he says you’ll need it if you give me a gun. You’d think he’d let it go for once!”

“Tell him he’ll be quite safe. He’s far too rubbish with technology to ever do anything that puts him on our radar, bloody dinosaur.”  He didn't mention the text he’d received from Trevelyan early in the morning that he couldn't bring himself to delete.

The flight itself was dull for Moneypenny and not as horrific as Q had feared. Staying in the US indefinitely would suit him down to the ground if it meant he didn't have to board another bloody flight, but he supposed it would eventually become easier. With more drugs.  A driver in an impressive sleek black car with blacked out windows took them to their new apartment.  “Now I feel like we’re doing proper spook work,” Moneypenny giggled. “I could get used to this.”

“Don’t get too excited love, whatever we've got to drive won’t be nearly as impressive.” They looked up at their new apartment building from the pavement. “Welcome to our new home, Moneypenny.  I’d carry you over the threshold if I could, but my arms are full of laptops.”

“You’re such a romantic; how on Earth did I catch such a prize?” She laughed, taking a bag from the insanely large pile he was attempting to carry.  “Let's get settled in.”

Thursday of their second week the familiar click of heels could be heard echoing down the corridor. Moneypenny appeared at the doors of Q's new home base promptly at 5:00 pm to retrieve him.  "Not in Q Branch, love.  No more three day long work days. Time to take your skinny arse home for the day,“ she chided him starting to shove his tablet and things into his messenger bag for him.  

"But Moneypenny..." Q started to protest.

"No, Moneypenny's orders.  Say goodnight to your new friends Q."  There were a few chuckles from close by from those who were getting acquainted with the banter and relationship between the two Brits.  

Messenger bag over one shoulder, Q linked his arm through Moneypenny's as they slowly made their way down the corridor towards the secured exits.  "What Moneypenny?  Tell me. I know that smirk in your face." he demanded pulling her to a stop studying her facial expression.  "Your gloating about something."

Moneypenny moved into his personal space. To any outsider it would have looked like an intimate moment between the two of them, their arms still linked.  "Well...  You know Agent "tall, dark and handsome" Jarred Wilson on the escort detail...  I have a date tomorrow night." She squeezed his arm practically giddy with delight.

"You mean the one who I catch staring at your arse when he thinks you aren't looking." he teased her as they progressed towards the parking garage again.

"And..." one eyebrow raised demanding to hear the words from him.  "Q... Say the words."

With a deep sigh and a pained look on his face, he conceded.  "Alright.  You win.   Are you happy, Moneypenny" although at the moment he couldn't really remember what they had bet. But he wasn't about to tell her that fact.

"Say the words, Q." she demanded.

"I do hate you, Moneypenny" he sighed like a petulant child. "Fine.  You have the first date.  Are you satisfied now, Moneypenny."

"I love you too, Q" leaning in placing a kiss on his cheek.  "Now let's go see if we can battle this bloody awful traffic again."

"Christ nooo!"

"I just don't understand why they insist on driving on the wrong side of the road here.  And the traffic directionals are utterly confusing."

"I take it back Moneypenny. I am not going to concede defeat yet because we may die in a traffic accident on the way home tonight with you driving.  And you must actually go on the date first to win."  

Moneypenny pulled out into traffic with Q gripping the edge of his seat and trying to resist applying invisible brakes. It wasn't that she was a bad driver, she was just easily distracted by whatever subject she was talking about at the time. In this case, Q's non-existent quest for a date.

"You're not even really trying are you? You let me win." Q muttered 'ROAD' under his breath when she turned to glare at him.

"Just preserving your sense of dating superiority. I'm too focused on work. Todd and I were discussing-"

Moneypenny's ears pricked up at the name. Todd was one of the technical experts who specialised in something or other that Q had mentioned when she was too busy checking out the rest of the office. "Todd's cute. And available. You should ask him out. And did I mention he's cute? And he spends a lot of time working at your desk."

Q sighed deeply. "We're colleagues, working on a project together. Stop matchmaking Moneypenny or Jarred will find out what you're really like in the mornings long before he gets you into bed. I have photos of you sans makeup that would put him off altogether. And ROAD, for fucks sake!"

****  
  
  



	25. Chapter 25

It was late. Extremely late.  Q couldn't help but be concerned about Moneypenny. It was second nature for her to be in his thoughts.  Drinks, dinner, out on the town.   He hoped she was having a good time.  But part of him hoped that Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome was a bore.

Q had ensconced himself into the sofa. Pyjama pants, ratty Serenity t-shirt (once a brown coat always a brown coat), headset, popcorn and a Halo 3 Online Tournament with some of the minions from Q Branch had been his entertainment for the evening. Nothing wrong with sitting up waiting for your sister to return home from her date. Which is where he was when Agent Wilson brought Moneypenny home, screaming at the screen "You fucking bloody bastard. You're going to get us all killed."

“Having fun, love?” Moneypenny leaned over the back of the sofa dropping a kiss on his head.

“Death match. Highest kill count,” he grinned manically at the TV, hammering on the controller and whooping with delight when two more players rag dolled and weapons scattered.

“Fantastic, well done.  Tea?”

He turned to thank her and noticed the tall dark man loitering in the kitchen for the first time. Immediately Q grabbed Moneypenny’s hand, pressing it to his cheek affectionately while he scowled at Jarred.  “You brought him home, you hussy?” He hissed too quiet for the agent to hear.

“He escorted me home like a gentleman would,” she giggled, pulling her hand away so she could return to the kitchen.

He struggled to his feet and wrapped his arms around her in a possessive hug, speaking close to her ear. “Liar, and you know it. He’s hoping to get in your pants. Please tell me you’re wearing the huge beige restrictor-knickers? Can’t wait for him to get an eyeful of those.”

Jarred looked on from the kitchen, confused and slightly uncomfortable at the intimate display. Moneypenny disentangled herself from Q, slapping his arm. “Behave.  He’s not staying, but I would like to see him again. Don’t you dare scare him off by being an arse.”

She swayed back to the kitchen to make tea giving Jarred her mega-watt sexy smile. “But I’m such a beautiful arse,” Q called after her, smirking at the suave agent.

"Go to bed, Quartermaster. It's well past your bedtime, young man." Moneypenny called back over her shoulder as she moved to make tea with all the gracefulness of a geisha.  

"But we were just getting ready to start round 13." he protested.

"Go to bed, Q.   Time for the adults to have the lounge."

"You are so cruel, Moneypenny." He snarled at her as he began to limp toward his bedroom.  But stopping half way there he turned and flashed her his sweetest smile. "Tuck me in?"

"You are so going to lose your Halo privileges and I will hide your cane too. Go to bed!" She turned back to Jarred all syrupy sweet.  "Tea?  Milk?  Sugar?" only to find him standing there with an utterly confused look on his face.

“Am I stepping into something I should be aware of Eve? I heard on the grapevine you two are close, but this seems a little…?” He trailed off, not really sure what the word should be.

"Ignore him, he always gets snarky when his team loses,” she called loud enough for Q to hear as he retreated to his room. He flipped her a finger then blew a kiss, slamming the door behind him.  “We are close. He’s like an annoying little brother sometimes, but he’s the family I chose so better than siblings.  We’ve been best friends for years, but that means he gets to voice an opinion on all my dates.”

Jarred didn’t look convinced. “Do you listen to him? I don’t think he likes me much.”

“Of course,” she pressed against him, curling her arms around his neck and pulling his head down so she could put her lips in tantalizing reach of his mouth. “So… You better treat me like royalty.”  

Jarred’s hands moved to her hips, backing her up against the counter. “What could he do if I didn’t? I don’t think he’ll be breaking my bones anytime soon.” He lingered over the kiss, drawing it out until Moneypenny pushed him away gently.

“Remember his job and imagine his skill set, then enhance it by one hundred percent. If you hurt me Q would destroy your entire life, probably without even getting out of bed. Just sometimes he likes to pretend to be grown up enough to play the big brother instead.  So, tea?”

****  
  



	26. Chapter 26

“Hey Eve, how are you?”  Trevelyan answered the call just as he got home after a day loitering in Q-branch making a nuisance of himself.  It wasn't half as much fun without Q there, but there were one or two techs who still played online games with the Quartermaster who could give him snippets of information about Q’s new life, even if it was heavily coloured by Halo stats and tales of online battle campaigns.

“I’m great Alec love, how are you?”  She smiled at the other end of the phone, pleased to hear a familiar voice from home.

“Ok I guess.  Missing your clicking heels and scolding tone,” he teased.  “Miss me?”

“Of course, and James.  No one here loiters in my office for the sole purpose of flirting and causing mayhem.  Well, apart from Jarred that is, but he daren’t stay too long in case he catches Q’s attention.”

Trevelyan stiffened at the name.  “Jarred?” he questioned cautiously.

“Mm my new person of interest.  Q is keeping him on his toes, vetting his every move.  You know how he gets?”  Trevelyan did.  It used to drive Moneypenny crazy on a regular basis back in London, but he supposed it was reassuring in a strange country to have someone looking out for you.

“How is he?” Trevelyan asked quietly, trying for a neutral tone and failing spectacularly.

Moneypenny curled up on the sofa and cast a glance at the former Quartermaster who was busy in the kitchen creating dinner with half an eye on the TV.  He was more relaxed and happy than Moneypenny had seen him in months, but in some respects he was more guarded than ever.  “He’s good.   Happier and loving the work.”  She wondered briefly how far she could stretch the truth, and what benefit it would be to either man, and then cursed her heart knowing that she was playing with fire.  “He’s dating.  Cute guy from his team named Todd.  He speaks Q’s high-level super-geeky technoid language so they’re probably ideally matched, but the rest of the universe hasn't a clue what they’re so excited about.”

“Is it serious?” Trevelyan asked, and hated himself for asking.

“Ish.  Every waking moment at work together and several evenings over the last two weeks.  You know Q… if someone’s interested in the weird shit he’s working on then he practically gets a hard on by explaining it to them.  Todd is very interested and talks geeky shit back at him.  It’s a wonder they don’t have simultaneous orgasms several times a day.”

“Right,” Trevelyan said tightly.  “Well, that’s good I guess.  He’s found someone to date.  Great.”

Moneypenny smiled to herself.  A jealous Trevelyan was a proactive Trevelyan, she hoped.  “I have to go love, he’s almost got dinner on the table and he’d be pissed if he knew we were in touch.  Call me next week?”

“No problem Eve.  Take care of him for me.”  Trevelyan hung up and kicked out at the kitchen door.  “Bastard.  Fucking bastard.”  He checked his watch and made a decision, heading for the shower.

Dark trousers, well-polished black boots and moss green button down to bring out his eyes, Trevelyan was ready to go out on the pull without Bond to hinder his evening by distracting him with young redheads.  Tonight he was going out clubbing to make a new start. Forget the Quartermaster, who had obviously forgotten him and was moving on.  

"Fucking little shite," Trevelyan muttered grabbing his keys determined that Q was his past.

The club was dark, hot, loud and surprisingly busy for only being mid-evening. Trevelyan made his way to one of the three large wooden bars, scanned their selection of vodkas and settled on Reyka.  Leaning back against the bar it was time to assess the room and settle on a mark for the evening.

There was mixed group at the far end of the bar.  It was obvious to the trained eye that they had all been there for a while and had been to the bar frequently.  A few were engaged in an animated conversation.  Standing at the fringe was one young man, part of the group, listening but not a main participant.

As Trevelyan was watching the young man was whisked out on the dance floor by two young women where the sexual tension between the three of them built quickly to a peak as the music level rose.  That show was all Trevelyan needed to make up his mind.  This was his target for the evening.

Trevelyan signaled the bartender for another while he watched, and then another. Throwing both back immediately, before making his way to the dance floor.  All it took was a couple of well-placed looks to have the young man be the focus of his attention alone.  It wasn't long before Trevelyan's large hands found their way to the young man's thin hips as they ground against each other.

Kissing him – Matthew? Martin? – on the dance floor felt far too good, plump lips parting eagerly under the assault of Trevelyan’s mouth. As they danced the young man’s hands slid down to cup Trevelyan’s arse tugging him closer still until the older man decided it was high time they left before the bouncers saw fit to dump a bucket of iced water over them.

In the taxi Martin – oh yeah, that was his name –crawled into his lap to continue where they left off, pushing his mouth desperately against Trevelyan’s like he was the very last source of air in the world. When the taxi stopped at Trevelyan's flat he tossed several notes through the driver’s window and dragged Martin inside.

Trevelyan didn't waste time on the social pleasantries and the dark haired man didn’t seem too bothered. He allowed Trevelyan to lead him to the bedroom and only froze five minutes later when his phone began to ring. They stared at one another while the chords rang around the room.  "Are you going to get that?” Trevelyan growled, dropping his mouth to Martin’s neck and sucking in a distracting manner while his hands unfastened Martin’s jeans and dipped inside to caress his length.

“No way.” He threw his head back against Trevelyan’s shoulder presenting the column of his neck for the agent to mark while his hands pushed the young man’s jeans and pants clear. One large hand closed around Martin’s cock, thumb playing across the head until the dark haired man pulled away and began stripping in earnest. Trevelyan followed suit bearing him down to the bed.

  
  



	27. Chapter 27

In the few weeks that Q had been in D.C. he had learned quite a bit about Todd.  Rather Todd had told him a lot about himself even though the Quartermaster couldn't reciprocate. He was an anomaly of the British Government, nonexistent to the world.    Todd was tall, thin, dark haired and eyed...  of "Black Irish" descent.  Not handsome or rugged, but pleasant. Grandfather, Father and brothers all New York City constables.  Todd was the first in his family to earn a degree, let alone multiple degrees.  Not suited to follow the family tradition being city officer, he joined the CIA instead in their DS&T division.  

Todd spoke Q's language...languages, was assigned to the team the Quartermaster was consulting with and was one of his more intelligent team members.  And, Todd was utterly smitten and fascinated with Q, which Q did not seem to notice at all.

It was early Friday evening. Moneypenny had bribed Jarred into taking her to seeing a musical - Disney's The Lion King at the Kennedy Center Opera House.  Q was already dreading the days upon days he would have to listen to Moneypenny sing the entire score over and over again.  The Quartermaster and Todd, engrossed in equations, algorithms, monitors and whiteboards had not realized that the vast majorIty of the team had gone home for the evening.   Without Moneypenny to "pick him up at the classroom door" at the end of the day, Q would have worked forever on the equations if Todd had not pointed out the time.

Handing Q his messenger bag as he still rambled about the security issues they were having with their set up, Todd coaxed Q out of the building, into a cab and on his way home... with Todd trailing along.

They debated algorithms and scripts the entire cab ride, in the door, to the building delivery elevator and into Moneypenny and Q's flat. There, systems and monitors flared on in Q's mini Q Branch home replica and the debates continued covering the entire kitchen table in paper.  "Q... Food... You need to eat," Q was interrupted mid equation.

"Oh. Had no idea what time it was. Friday. Thai night. Takeaway menus top right hand drawer in the kitchen."  To which Todd ordered them delivery, making sure to order what Q had marked on the menu as his favourites.

Takeaway boxes joined the paper disaster on the kitchen table. The wall next to the monitors was now covered with orange, pink and green scribbled sticky notes.  "No... no... This isn't going to work," Q commented as he rearranged the sticky notes for the 500th time. "We need to..." he startled as he turned around directly into Todd.  Directly in his personal space.

"Q... Shut up." Todd's hands came up to gently cup Q's face kissing him firmly.  "No more talking for tonight." he whispered placing another kiss to the angry scar running across Q's forehead.

"Oh...  oh...," Q muttered completely in shock.  "You..." Todd took the pencil and pad of sticky notes out of his hands then placed Q's hands on his shoulders.  

"That is unless you are a talker in bed along with moans and mewls.   I know this is forward, Q." Todd leaned in kissing him again wrapping an arm around Q's slender waist pulling him in closer.  "I was hoping to give you some more incentive to stay here in D.C. "

"Todd... I....  are you sure. I'm... Underneath..." Q started to lean back away from him.  "It's been... There's damage that..."  

"I think you are beautiful, Q." Todd whispered against his lips.

Q woke the next morning naked, alone in his bed, where he had not been alone a few hours earlier.  However, he was extremely grateful he was the only occupant of his bed. Morning afters could be extremely awkward and this more than likely was going to be one.  "Fuck..." he sighed staring up at the ceiling and part of his brain answered "Yes, you did."

All of sudden he panicked not knowing where his leg brace was.  He certainly did not want to have to yell for Moneypenny to help him, at least not until he had a few moments to think through what had happened the previous night.  Q scooted up in the bed hoping to see his brace lying on the floor close by, not like the rest of his clothing which he had no bloody idea where they had gotten to, only to find it tucked up by the headboard behind the pillows where he could reach it easily.  "Todd..." Q sighed.

Q struggled a few times but managed to get his leg brace on by himself. Sitting on the side of the bed was as far as he got as his thoughts drifted.  The night before with Todd had been... interesting.  If he had been honest with himself he would say the night actually revealed his true feelings.  The attention, the affection, the sex... All of it had been nice.  Nice. Just nice.  Not Amazing. Not fabulous.  Not outstanding. Not extreme. Not chaotic. Just... Nice.  And definitely not pushing the boundaries like it was with.... "Don't go there" he snarled at himself.

Q grabbed up the duvet wrapping it around his naked slender frame and limped his way out towards the kitchen seeking tea.  Moneypenny was waiting for him seated on the sofa drinking tea dressed in her robe.  

"Someone left a lovely thank you note and commentary on your performance last night in sticky notes on your computer monitor, love," she commented struggling to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"Fuck..." Q sighed forcing himself not to meet her gaze.

Not being able to hold the laughter back any longer. "Oh he did comment something about that too, love.  Seems like I remember someone saying recently 'I'm not that kinda boy'.  Details Q!  Come on. Spill it!"  

"I hate you Moneypenny"

Q balanced his mug in one hand using the other to hold the duvet around him like a ridiculously heavy cloak as he trailed to the sofa. He plopped down slopping tea unnoticed over the side of the cup, brow creased into a frown. Of course trying hard not to think of... Well, it was the one sure fire way to put him at the forefront of his mind, with all the implications of what 'moving on' from him might mean.

"I know that look Q and you're not bloody thinking about last night. Stop it, and give me all the gory details of the lovely Todd who leaves horny little notes on your monitor for your delighted roomie to tease you about." 

Q sighed but dragged up a grin for Moneypenny who he knew would not stop nagging at him until he'd given her at least three juicy facts about Todd and his performance. "Moneypenny, I hadn't had sex for almost nine months; I'm still shocked I didn't come the second he had my pants off! He was lovely."

Moneypenny snorted. "Lovely? Do I need to quote from the Post-it's?"

Q glared at her but it softened immediately into a smile. Moneypenny had the best leer he'd ever seen on a woman and it made him laugh every time. "Damn, ok! It was nice sex. He's very talented with his tongue, is surprisingly well-endowed and my arse is pleasantly sore. Most importantly he didn't freak out when he got me naked."

If truth be told that was the most arousing memory of the whole encounter. Q had long since resigned himself to a life where sex would be a rare occurrence and limited to one night stands with partners who either had a kink for crippling scars or who ran screaming from the room. He purposely decided to spare himself the humiliation and opted not to date, so Todd had completely derailed him when he kissed him. The man wasn't particularly creative in bed but he ensured Q knew that every square inch of his body could still be desirable.

"You're seeing him again Q. You call him later and make a proper date for tonight, or brunch tomorrow." Moneypenny ordered, taking his mug to refill.

"I'm not some needy teenager Moneypenny. And we work together, it's a bad idea. And I don't really want a relationship." And he's not Alec-bloody-Trevelyan and on his performance, nice though it was, he's not going to make me forget...

She swatted him over the head. "Who mentioned a relationship? It's fucking, you idiot. You need someone to give you a good seeing to on a regular basis. It's a bonus he's cute, funny and talks in binary. Stop over thinking and let yourself have some fun, love."

He snuggled deeper into the duvet still undecided. "So crude Moneypenny. I'll think about it. Can I have some toast with my tea?"

"Oh so does Jarred talk "field agent" to you Moneypenny.  And is that what you are doing with him... Not in a relationship, fucking for fun."  He knew it was uncalled for but it just fell out of his mouth.

"You little shite," she turned on him in heartbeat. "Make your own fucking toast.  You are not crippled, maybe emotionally though.  You act like 12 year old."  And the battle was on....

"Fuck you Moneypenny! Oh, I forgot, you have a pet suit to do that though don’t you? At least I don’t inflict my love life on you. Nobody moans like that unless it's a porn flick. Need the feedback does he?”

Moneypenny flushed slightly but she wasn’t going to let him get away with that. “A bit of appreciation in the bedroom never goes amiss. Believe me love, if I wasn't so considerate to your feelings you’d be hearing me scream.”

"Scream Moneypenny, then he would know for sure that you were faking it. At least the moaning makes it seem at least a little realistic."  He gathered the duvet around him and made his way to the kitchen to make his own toast.  

"At least find someone who has a little brains, Moneypenny. Seriously, they must have exceedingly low qualifying standards here."

"Well maybe if you focused less on brains and more on his cock you could have mind-blowing screaming fucking instead of a bit of boring nice sex!" She spat, quivering with indignation. "But then you gave that up because you're too much of a coward to pick the man you really want, aren't you?"

Q stared at her open-mouthed for a moment. "Well, tell it like it is love why don't you? Maybe I don't want to give you the full details of every blow job for you to use in your fantasies with Mr Wank-Suit."

"Well if you only have sex once every nine months, then I am going to have to be a lot more creative on my own for entertainment.  But then again, I should expect that since you have your face shoved into a computer monitor all the time.   Surprised you haven't built yourself some sort of sexdroid by now so you wouldn't have to deal with real people." 

"At least I'm a little more discreet and picky about my bed partners." he snarled back at her earning himself a piece of toast being flung at his head from across the kitchen.

He snatched it up from the floor where it fell and tossed it back at her. "If I could build a sexdroid that moaned as well as you with an added scream setting I might consider it," he yelled. The ridiculousness of the idea threatened to overcome his anger at her and in spite of himself the corners of his mouth twitched up into the start of a smile.

"Are you throwing bloody toast at me you stupid child?  And did you just imply I'm a slut?"

He giggled. "You started it love. And you are a bit. Half a dozen dates is a long term relationship for you.  I could make you a sexdroid too, Moneypenny.  Every detail to your specifications and measurements." he smirked at her. "Just think of the possibilities, love."  He couldn't help but giggle.

"You're just a perv at heart, Q" she laughed, "but if ever you want to build a prototype I'll happily give it a try. If it makes toast too, bonus!"

"I may be a perv at heart Moneypenny, but you still love me." he limped over to her placing a small kiss on her cheek.  "Christ, I need a shower. I smell like sex." he pulled the duvet closer around himself.

"God help me I do love you, you little brat. And you're still calling Todd." She called after him, "I'm not that easily deflected."

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

Trevelyan perched at the bar of the luxurious hotel sipping a cocktail and supposedly keeping a close eye on his blond employer across the room. To the other patrons he was every inch the personal security of the rich English property developer who sipped whisky and flirted subtly with the son of his Dubai-based counterpart.  The elder was oblivious to the attention Bond lavished on the young dark haired man so intent was he on the paperwork Bond had handed him to study.

Bond excused himself and headed to the bar. “Not that I’m saying you have a type at all, but do you think you could possibly stop drooling over this one, at least until we get what we came for? You’re supposed to be professional.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Bond cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “Really? Give him spectacles and a messenger bag and take him out of the designer suit and you’d have a raging hard on.” The barman’s eyes flickered briefly as he delivered Bond’s fresh drink, a small embarrassed flush staining his cheeks as he hurried off to another customer.

"I would not.  Bloody bastard.  I should let someone shoot you for that." He muttered to Bond with a smile on his face as if they were having small talk.   Bond headed back across the room as Trevelyan took a good hard look at the younger man sitting at the table.  "Fucking hell..." he muttered to himself.  Maybe Bond was right.

Trevelyan gestured to the bartender for a refill, perturbed with himself as he thought over Bond's comment.  He just couldn't completely chase the thoughts of Q from his head.  And what made matters worse, he realised it.  He was looking for Q, not trying to move on. Even the kid he had picked up in the club the other night and pounded into the mattress had in too many ways reminded him of Q.   He hadn't noticed it until the next morning when he woke and thought he was in bed with Q.

Bond was on his feet shaking hands with the wealthy man, all toothy smiles and suspicious eyes. The father and son left the bar and Bond indicated to Trevelyan his business was finished.

As he crossed the room Trevelyan subtly scratched his ear activating his link to Q-branch. R’s voice rattled over the line. “For goodness sake 006, when your instruction is to check in at 1800 hours I don’t expect you to be almost two hours late.  Tanner has intelligence.”

“First time for everything,” Trevelyan snorted as he passed the door at Bond’s back.

“If we could dispense with the wisecracks 006?  The property company is a front as we suspected for various activities, but we’re looking specifically at human trafficking and forced labour.  There is a new development that requires a significant workforce.  We suspect unskilled labour is being brought in for the construction and for the growing sex trade as a sideline.”

“And why are we involved?”

“A favour has been called in from on high.  You two were idle and starting to make the departments restless. M thought you could do with some exercise.”

After their meeting with the "developer"  Bond and Trevelyan went their separate ways dividing up the Intel to follow up on agreeing to meet back up later in the evening.  Bond sat outside in the gardens drinking coffee at the Burj Al Arab Hotel waiting for Trevelyan to show up, who was late... again .  "Anything new for us, Tanner?" he checked in with HQ while he waited.

"It's about time you checked in again, 007. M was becoming concerned."

Bond could tell Tanner was in Q Branch by the sounds in the background.  "We are compiling data for you as we speak and should have it for you soon. Check back in two hours.  Two hours, 007.  Not three or four."

"Understood," Bond cut his connection to Tanner as a waiter refilled his cup.  By his conversation with Tanner, it was obvious that Trevelyan hadn't checked in with Tanner either. A half hour later, making Trevelyan 45 minutes late, he came screeching to a halt a the hotel entrance driving a bright orange McLaren 650S GCC.  Trevelyan waved off the valet and motioned for Bond to get in.  

"You're late as usual." Bond commented as he got in the passenger seat.  "Are you going to tell me where you 'acquired' this so we can coordinate our lies to M later."

"Well you didn't seem to have any luck with your subtle flirting with the boy," Trevelyan smirked at him. "And since you seemed to think I was obsessing over a certain type, I thought I would put my obsession to good use."

"Damnit Alec."

"I was discreet, James.  Bloody hell, I know better.  The boy didn’t know anything.  Couldn’t get any intel out of him. Seems Dad is keeping the youngster in the dark, but I got us wheels for our stay." pulling away from the hotel as if they were in the middle of a Grand Prix race.

Trevelyan guided the McLaren out of the city, leaving the bright lights and luxury behind in favour of the concrete jungle of construction sites.  Cranes towered above them as they streaked through the quieter streets, taking advantage of the car’s power, both men grinning at the growl of the engine.

“Sweet ride,” Bond commented.

“He was,” Trevelyan smirked and floored the accelerator, bursting down a long stretch.  

The signs of construction eventually gave way to a dilapidated expanse of box like buildings, strewn with rubbish and skinny inhabitants.  Dark shadowed eyes watched the flashy car pass, too downtrodden to offer a shouted insult but malevolent hatred for the vulgar sign of privilege evident in their glares.

“Christ Alec, you could have sourced something a little less conspicuous if you intended coming out here.  What is this place?”

“Welcome to Sonapur, City of Gold.  These are the people who build Dubai.  Slave labour for the most part, promised a good job and generous salary, but when they get here their passports are taken by their employers and they are forced to work for a pittance to pay off the cost of being brought here.  Most never do.”

Bond glanced sharply at his friend.  “We’re not here to get sentimental over people whose lives we can’t change Alec.  Harsh though it may be, I’ll do the job I’m paid to do and won’t lose sleep over thousands of lives I can’t save.”

“I haven’t gone soft in the head James.  While the kid was sleeping off being shagged senseless I did a bit of poking around their suite and stumbled across the father’s laptop.  There is more than just unskilled labour down here in the British contingent at least.  Michael Dean was an architect until his gambling problem put him in difficulty with a certain British-educated Arab of our acquaintance.  He might be living in relative squalor down here, but his employer likes to keep in touch so he has a mobile.  I called him.  We’re investigative journalists and he’s giving us plans of the last building he worked on – our Arab’s office block.”

Michael Dean turned out to be small rat faced man with darting eyes and quick movements. He had a sly way of speaking that made the hairs on the back of Bond’s neck prickle, and he subconsciously adjusted the Walther he had hidden under his linen jacket.  “What do journalists want with building plans anyway?  Nothing legit if you’re coming to me for it.  My fee has increased to fifty thousand Dirhams and I keep your interest from my boss.”

Trevelyan smiled dangerously as he tossed the formerly agreed price on the ground by the man’s feet.  “Twenty thousand and my friend doesn’t shoot you.”  There was very little breeze but the notes began to shift on the ground, enough that the Brit scrambled for them and took his attention from his visitors.  Bond moved behind him and hauled him to his feet, pressing the Walther against his ribs.  “Plans?”  Trevelyan said pleasantly.

There was movement out on the road and a commotion amongst the small group of inhabitants that had gathered to watch the exchange between Dean and the two agents.  Three black Range Rovers raced down the rutted street towards them loaded with menace and gunfire.  “Shit!” Bond exclaimed, ducking for cover behind the now terrified architect.  Trevelyan hit the ground too and snarled at the rat-like man who had suddenly realised the employer he thought was an ally actually didn’t care much if he became collateral damage.  “Time to move Alec,” Bond yelled, making for the car hard on the heels of his friend.


	29. Chapter 29

It was definitely a lager night and there were way too many to sample.  Todd had convinced Q to at least go and have one… maybe two drinks with him including the promise that he would make sure he arrived home safety later.  So off they headed towards the ChurchKey for food and drink. The first part of the week had been horrendous and actually it hadn’t taken much convincing to get him to go.  It had been a long time since Q had been out and seeing more of D.C. other than cavernous offices spaces was definitely appealing at the moment.

He had let Todd order some different small plate appetizers which they shared as their conversation continued from work, then on to Q telling him about London, and Todd talking about living in D.C. and the local neighborhoods.   By the time Moneypenny arrived they were well on their way to ordering hot sandwiches and Q was arguing with Todd that the Dead Bear Stout could not hold a candle to anything he would find in London.  

“Evening gents, are we eating?”  Moneypenny pecked Q on the cheek and then perched on a chair, crossing her legs and regarding the slightly work-dishevelled couple across from her.  Both looked like it had been an intense conversation, hair sticking out at odd angles and plates shoved aside to enable them to scribble on paper napkins.  “Does this stuff turn you on?”  She teased.  “You look like you’ve engaged in a particularly frantic snogging session.”

Todd looked confused but Q rolled his eyes.  “Not all of us have trouble restraining our passion in public Moneypenny.  Speaking of which, where is the stud?”

She grinned at him and leaned forward to ruffle his hair making it stand out even more wildly.  Todd looked on, still not quite comfortable with their easy familiarity and where their boundaries lay.  He shuffled along the sofa a little way and slid his arm around Q’s back possessively.  

“Jarred is ordering drinks and nibbles.  I’m ravenous and you’ve cleared your plate Q.  Very inconsiderate when you knew I was coming.”

"About as considerate as someone who threw toast at my face."

"Toast...?" Todd was even more confused now.

"Had to be there, love."  Moneypenny smiled sweetly at him. "Sooo Todd, what are your intentions towards my boffin here?"

"Moneypenny! Stop it!"

"Well, you feel the need vet all my dates, Q.  You even thought you were going to stay up with us when we came home the other night." Moneypenny turned her attention back to Todd. "You do realise this is where I tell you if you hurt him, I will have to kill you."  smiling sweetly at him again but there was something lingering underneath that rang true.

"I'm not planning on..."  Todd started but Q and Moneypenny had long since started their normal banter.

"That's because you need someone to pay attention. Forgot all the common sense you had as a field agent since you've been riding a desk."  Q muttered as the waitress sat another round down on the table.  Todd was still drinking lager but Q had switched. Q chatted up the waitress as Jarred slid into a chair next to Moneypenny giving her a kiss on her upturned cheek. "Are you sure this single malt lives up to the praise you give it. What did you call it again?"  

"Coal Ila, 12 year old.  And if you aren't satisfied with it, the next round is on me." the waitress leaned her hip against their table smiling down at Q.

"Don't bother, love" Moneypenny tapped the waitress on the arm.  "He may be a cute little bastard but he's not interested in your bits at all."  

"Field Agent?"  Todd looked a little startled at Moneypenny. "I didn't know you were a field agent."

"Moneypenny is not just my one and only, she is my licensed to kill protector."  Q toasted her with his scotch.

Moneypenny pointed two fingers at Todd and took a mock shot. “I’m an excellent shot, so watch out. Hurt my boy here and you’ll be on my hit list.”

Q snorted. “Just make sure you’re standing within ten feet of a guy you don’t like. You’ll be quite safe but he’ll go down like a sack of spuds.”

Todd opened his mouth to ask a question but Moneypenny had already rounded on Q. “One time! And one could argue he deserved it for all the years of flirting I’ve endured. Anyway James was very good about it.”

“Mm, very good, you told me,” Q leered.

Jarred leaned closer to her, attempting to follow the quick fire banter between the two. “Who’s James?”

Q smirked at her murderous glare. “Hot blond with more muscles than sense. Moneypenny’s favourite package.”

“I think that’s your thing love,” she threw back sharply. The two dark haired men looked on bewildered by the waspish sniping. Jarred smirked at Todd, who was clearly six months gym membership away from muscles, before recognising the blond description didn't fit him either.

“Are you two sure you aren’t secretly married?” Jarred asked.

Q took Moneypenny’s fingers and brought her hand to his lips with a cheeky smile. “She’s the only girl I’ll ever ask and I do so weekly.”

“And he’s the only boy I’ll ever accept but not till we’re old and grey and shriveled,” she chuckled.

"So do I have a chance to tempt you to stay beyond the end of your contract Eve? I know Q has already been approached."

"What?" She snatched her fingers away from Q and swatted her friend's arm. "When were you going to tell me?"

It was 1 am in the morning.  Jarred had left earlier because he was out early in the morn for a field assignment.  Todd had long since headed home also.   Moneypenny sat on the sofa staring at some awful cheesy chick flick on the Lifetime Network.

“You’re mad at me,” he muttered drunkenly flopping on the sofa next to her.  There was no response from Moneypenny at all.  “And not speaking to me either, I see.”

“Please don’t be mad at me, Moneypenny.  Can’t stand it when you aren’t talking to me.  Would rather you bitch at me and throw things.” Wriggling closer to her on the sofa.

“Moneypenny, you know they have been courting me with a job offer for going on two years now.  Strongly over the past year.”  Leaning his head back against the sofa which made the room spin.  

Q sat up, flopping around long ways on the sofa so that his head fell into her lap as he tugged his leg up on the sofa with him.  “Moneypenny… Moneypenny,” he tapped her on the cheek until she finally looked down glaring at him.  “I was going to talk with you.  You know I would never make such an important decision without talking it through with you now.”  Q’s hands wandered in the air as he talked even more so now after alcohol.

“It’s just… I have avoided thinking about it.  And it wasn’t real again until Jarred brought it up tonight.  Hearing someone else talk about it truly gave it reality.”  She just looked down at him and listened for once to him babble, a hand drifting to his truly disastrous hair. 

“I never really thought about anything beyond MI6.  Life was always MI6, little cottage with white picket fence, 2 1/2 dogs or cats, a little espionage thrown in here and there, and a lot of computer equipment.” which made Moneypenny laugh finally. “And then someone had to throw emotions and attachments into the grand scheme of things and fucked it all up.  Not to mention a bomb in the tube which didn’t help matters either for my outlook on life.”

“You’re going to have to make a decision sometime, love.” Leaning down to place a small kiss on his forehead.

“Oh she honors me with speech,” Q looked up at her and smirked.  “Don’t want to talk about it anymore tonight though.   Too drunk to make rational decisions.  Come cuddle me in bed, Moneypenny.”

“Don’t think so, you little shite.  Your bed smells like sex.”

“Yours does too, Moneypenny.  Besides, my bed is bigger.” And the banter had started again.  “I promise I won’t snore or drool on your pillow.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Quartermaster.” shoving him up off her lap but careful not to dump him off onto the floor.

“I’ll let you have the side closest to the bathroom,” Q offered. “And I won’t even make you leave the light on in there either.

“I don’t think so,” she chided him carefully steering him towards his bedroom door.  “That means you get to be the big spoon and I am not having you snuggling and groping me all night thinking you were in bed with one of your male conquests.  And besides that you’d be trying to crawl over me in the middle of the night with that obnoxious leg brace of yours to get to the bathroom.  No, I get to be the big spoon.”

“Moneypenny… you wound me.”

“You are such a bloody little bastard, Q.”

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

Bond waved Trevelyan forward across the corridor, one eye on the security guard in the office at the end.  Tanner buzzed in his ear about getting the files and getting out quickly without causing any more damage than strictly necessary, but between them the two Double Os had come up with a more permanent solution to shutting down the Arab’s business.  Bond had dropped Trevelyan at the gate and then coasted confidently up to the glass doors, parking the ridiculous orange McLaren at the front of the luxurious offices and trotting unhurriedly up the steps.

The security guard returned a moment later empty handed.  “I’m sorry Mr Stock, your briefcase isn’t here.  Perhaps you could return tomorrow?”

“Of course, no problem.”  Bond ran lightly down the steps and took out his mobile, faking a call until the guard disappeared from view.

“Location of 006 please?” he murmured.

“One hundred yards to your right there is a concealed fire exit.  He’s waiting.”

Bond jogged off in the indicated direction, until a portion of wall swung outwards and Trevelyan’s grinning face appeared in the gloom.  “This floor is deserted, but there are two inhabited floors between us and our destination.  Are we sneaking or storming?"

"I would prefer sneaking but knowing you it will end up being storming eventually,"  Bond commented mentally going over their path they needed to take to reach their destination.

"You have such little faith in me." Trevelyan smirked heading off without Bond.

Bond followed along catching up with him.  "This is your idea of sneaking."

"Feel free to take the lead. At least I get to blow something up later." Trevelyan commented looking very self satisfied.

"Might take your mind off a certain skinny dark haired boy."

“If only,” Trevelyan muttered slipping along the corridor to the stairwell where he paused.  “I suggest we part company here.”

Tanner’s voice echoed through their comms.  “007, you need to be up two levels, small inconspicuous office on the west side of the building, number thirty-two on the door.  Internal CCTV suggests all doors are numbered, though we can’t get a clear view of that office specifically. 006, whatever you’re planning, forget it.  Your instructions are to provide backup to 007.  Understood?”

“Of course Tanner, anything you say.” Alec winked and ducked into the stairwell, tugging his backpack more firmly onto his shoulder.  “I’ll provide backup in my own inimitable style.  You have fifteen minutes." he commented to Bond. "Last one to the hideous orange monstrosity is a wanker.”

Bond grinned and ran lightly up the stairs towards the offices while Trevelyan clattered down into the basement all pretence at stealth abandoned.  R had already confirmed that the lower levels appeared deserted so Trevelyan didn’t waste time with caution as he hurried past the main server room and into the smaller room that contained the main network hub for the building.  He expected to find the cabinets to be neatly ordered so chuckled when he saw the chaotic mass of wires that snaked into twisted piles like colourful snakes.   “You’d feel right at home down here.  Looks like your favourite cluttered corner of Q-branch.”

“Just set the timer long enough for me to complete the download.   Shit!”  

Trevelyan heard the hiss of frustration over the comm as Bond encountered a group of office workers exiting a meeting room.  “I’m going to take measures to minimise interference.  Not sure what effect it will have on you, if any, but be prepared.”  Bond waited for the chattering employees to turn the corner then slammed his fist into the nearest fire alarm.

“Fucking hell, that’s loud,” Trevelyan yelped covering his ears and darting out of the network room to the server room beyond.  “I’ve set it for ten minutes, so get a move on and stop pissing about.”

Bond made office thirty-two in less than a minute, dodging the flow of employees that headed for the fire exits, assuming the role of fire officer when anyone looked about to question him.  “Tanner, initiating the download now.  Confirm.”  A moment later R’s voice confirmed the data was streaming.

“Seven minutes on this one,” Trevelyan commented as he armed the larger device.  “Are we close?”  There was a click behind him and Trevelyan turned in time for the butt of a gun to smash into his cheek.  He sprawled, momentarily stunned, and lay still for a second until black shiny brogues stepped into his vision.  He turned his head slowly until he could look up at the man towering above him into the dark haired young man’s smirking face.

“Hello Alec.  Finished with my car yet?”

Trevelyan breathed out, slow and controlled making a mental assessment of the room, his assailant and the location of his gun.  The latter was tucked in the waistband of his jeans at the small of his back under the black t-shirt, but he’d be dead before he could get to it.  His eyes flickered to the small black box that was armed and counting down the minutes.

“How's it going?”  Bond’s voice in his ear was relaxed and confident that all was going well from his perspective.  The seconds ticked away without Trevelyan being able to give a response, but Bond would know his silence was a message in itself.  After thirty seconds of deafening quiet Bond called again.  “Alec?  All ok down there?  Tanner, can you raise Trevelyan?”

“His tracker is fine but he’s supposed to be with you not down in the basement 007.  What’s going on?  006 report, please.”  Tanner sounded irritated but not yet concerned. 

Bond checked his watch.  By his estimation they had about four minutes before Trevelyan's device exploded.  “You better be on your fucking way out of there you bastard.  I’m not coming down there to retrieve pieces of you.  Tanner-“

There was a loud pop and then a strangled cry that had Bond running with no care for who was left in the building or what they were doing there.  “Alec, answer me you bastard.” Bond’s dress shoes slapped the floor, skidding around the corners.  His Walther was in his hand and he fired off two shots in the direction of the security guard who appeared at the end of the ground floor corridor.  He didn’t wait to see him fall.

The stairs to the basement were bare concrete.  He’d barely descended halfway when he was hurled backwards onto their sharp edges by the force of the blast that ripped through the lower rooms sending a surge of heat over his face.  “Alec…” he yelled frantically, stumbling down the remaining steps and tugging at the doors.


	31. Chapter 31

Q juggled the front door of the flat he and Moneypenny were sharing.  Between keys, messenger bag, large Manila envelope, cane and the door while keeping most of his weight on his good leg, his frustration had reached its peak for the day.   Flat keys were literally flung at the Parsons table in the foyer hallway.  Messenger bag and cane ended up on the floor in the middle of the hallway.  Moneypenny was just coming out of the kitchen with a cup of tea when he slowly made his way into the lounge. Q threw the large envelope at the coffee table.  

Moneypenny picked up the envelope noticing the official logo marking it.

"What's in the ominous looking envelope, love?  And aren't you home awfully early?  Thought Todd would be wooing you all evening."

"Nosy aren't you, Moneypenny." He muttered maneuvering himself to flop on the sofa. "Job offer."

"Not enthusiastic, Q?  I thought this was what you wanted?" She sat down in an overstuffed chair facing him. "Q?"

"Todd broke things off with me tonight, Moneypenny.  Apparently Todd is a nice guy and I am a not very nice one. " he sighed sinking back into the cushions of the sofa.  "He wants to share his heart and informed me that he knows mine is elsewhere. That I have a mental check list that I tick off items comparing him to a ghost that haunts my emotions.  Do I fucking do that Moneypenny?  Am I that transparent?" grabbing one of the sofa throw pillows, he buried his face in it.  "Damn, I am a bastard." He muttered.

“Ah, well. We all have to contend with the ghost of the one that got away. Unfortunately in your case he didn’t have the decency to stay away.” Moneypenny gave him sympathetic eyes but secretly wasn’t surprised. Todd was lovely, but Q didn't need lovely in his life. As far as she was concerned he'd served his purpose and made Q realise he was still gorgeous. Now he could focus on moving on. "So on a scale of one to ice-cream-with-chick-flicks, how tragic is this break up?”

Q sighed and hugged the cushion. “A six-with-hot-chocolate. Maybe a seven-with-Jaffa-cakes if I consider it’ll be years before I find someone else who wants to fuck me with feelings attached.”

Moneypenny offered a patronizing smile but went to fetch Earl Grey and Jaffa Cakes anyway. “You’re such a romantic Q.”

“Emotional fucking is a relationship Moneypenny; of course it's romantic. I think we both knew all along he was Mr Right Now, but Todd had hopes of more. I can’t give him more.”

By the time she returned with the chocolate-orange goodies and his steaming mug, Q was leafing listlessly through the contents of the Manila envelope. “Not what you hoped for?” She asked gently, handing over the mug and dropping the packet in his lap. She settled on the sofa beside him, shoulders touching.

“Everything I wanted.” He sighed heavily and attacked the packet of Jaffa Cakes, stuffing two in his mouth together and munching distractedly. She patiently allowed him to consume four more before poking his ribs with a purple-polished fingertip. “Ouch. Moneypenny, it's a permanent move. I wouldn’t return to MI6 or to England. My entire past life would be left behind.” He said quietly.

“Not all your past, Q,” she bumped shoulders with him stealing a Jaffa cake from him.  “I got an offer too.”

Q looked at her wide eyed.  “You’re staying Moneypenny!  You are going to accept it aren't you? At least consider it.“ He couldn't hardly contain his relief.  It was one thing that was worrying him about the offer… staying in D.C. alone.  He had become more dependent on her being around than he would ever admit to her openly.

“Sooo don’t hold back, Moneypenny.  Tell me.” Grabbing up the envelope with its contents he waved it at her.  “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he smirked at her.

Moneypenny looked smug.  “I love working with you Q, you know that, but…”

“But what?  Don’t say they've offered you something on the far side of the country?” he asked anxiously.  That would almost be worse than her going back to the UK.

“Relax, I’ll still be based here, but they've offered me my own team.  Cyber terrorism recon.  What do you think?  Back in the field, living a little bit more dangerously than sitting behind a desk.  Huge salary increase and a two year contract.”  It was her turn to look a little anxious.  It was a big challenge and one she was sure she was ready for, but it meant independence from Q and that in itself was scary. Jarred had been reticent when she’d mentioned it casually over lunch, but it was Q’s opinion she would trust.  “Do you think I can do it?”

“Do I think you can do it?  Oh bloody hell, Moneypenny.  Of course you can do it, “ He looked at her in disbelief that she was asking him such a question.  “Surely you haven’t let a little thing like M having you doing filing for a few months get to you.  Of course you are capable of doing this.”  He grabbed another couple of Jaffa Cakes and then shoved the package at her.  “I’m sure that if Bond was here, he would tell you the same thing even though you shot him.”

Q hesitated at the thought of Bond for a moment, because it also brought up the thought for him that this meant he needed to have that conversation with Trevelyan.  One he was not sure he wanted to have at all.

“So is your answer going to be yes?” he quizzed her gathering his thoughts back together.   “More time with Hot Agent Jarred…”  

She buried her smile in his shoulder.  “He is bloody hot.  Christ Q, I wouldn't stay for him but he certainly makes it easier to say yes.  Several times a night and most emphatically.”

“God don’t remind me.  These walls are too thin Moneypenny.  Much as I adore you, I don’t wish to share the intimate details in a live stream.  But… can I take it you’re saying yes?”  He pushed her away gently so he could see her face.  “It’s a fantastic opportunity for you and you’d be brilliant at it and if you left I’d miss you terribly.” He finished in a rush, the slightest pinking of his cheeks the only indication that he was desperately hanging on for an affirmative answer.

She pressed her lips briefly to his.  “Of course it’s a yes.  So now you have to show me yours,” she winked.

“Minimal Travel.  Thank god.  Minimal time with cows, pigs, and pig farmers.  Although…” he smirked at her. “Vast much more money than I was making at MI6.  The Queen is a little stingy with her funds, you know.   Setting up my own unit in Cyber Securities.  So somewhere along the way, we may get to work together again, Moneypenny.” Being without Moneypenny everyday was definitely going to be a change.

“Supposed unlimited budget, but you and I both know that is never true.  But it is a nice thought.  I get to choose my own team. New minions.” He practically giggled slowly getting up he headed towards the kitchen to get another cup of tea.  Pausing halfway there he turned back to her.  “Christ Moneypenny. Have to hunt for a place to live.  Move things here from London.  Bloody hell, this is going to be complicated.”

He was puttering around in the kitchen for a little while but until he appeared again Moneypenny was looking over all the paperwork they had scattered on the coffee table.   He stood staring at her mug in hand lost in thought until she realized he was watching her.

“Q…?  Okay, love?  What are you thinking?”

“If I would find a place to live, purchase a home or something, would you consider still staying with me here for a while?  Transition time.  I just…. Fucking hell, Moneypenny.  I don’t want to be by myself yet.” He finally just blurted out.

Moneypenny was across the floor in less than a second and throwing her arms around the startled boffin, dodging the small tidal wave of hot tea that slopped over the side of his mug.  “Idiot!”  She kissed his cheek fondly.  “I was going to suggest getting a place together.  Something bigger maybe, where we could each have our own space but be together too.  Jarred is hot and all, but we’re light years off considering moving in together if that’s what you were worrying about?”

“I was more worried you’d want to step out of my shadow and spread your wings,” Q smirked, mouthing an ouch when she slapped him.

“Don’t worry about a thing, leave the organisation of everything to me.  You just find us an amazing place to live and I’ll arrange shipping of all our stuff.  Oh god Q, what will M say?  We’ll have to give notice I suppose.”  She suddenly went quiet, emotion clouding her features.

“What is it Moneypenny?” he asked gently.

She walked into the kitchen hugging her arms around herself.  “it’s nothing.  I’m just being sentimental; stupid really.”

He trailed after her, ignoring the ache in his leg and the odd fluttering in his stomach. “Tell me?”

Her dark eyes met his, slightly troubled.  “It was never just a job was it?  They’re our family Q.  Can we just leave them behind permanently?  M is a stuffy old thing, but he was a good boss, and Tanner was almost as close a friend as you are to me sometimes.   Never having James flirting with me again?  Both a welcome and upsetting thought,” she giggled but it was almost a sad sound.  Then she looked at him with the searing directness only she was capable of.  “And what about Alec?”

“I have to call him, don’t I, Moneypenny?  And this,” he point to their job offer papers, “is just going to make things even more difficult.  I don’t know what I am going to say to him.” He swallowed hard as he leaned into the kitchen counter.  The excitement of the new jobs was wearing thin with the thoughts of the emotional battle he was going to have with Trevelyan long distance.

“I suppose there are times in life when it is a time for change in everything.  This must be one, Moneypenny.  I've changed.  Alec will realize that someday.  I’ll call him later.” He added adamantly knowing it was time for things to be resolved if possible. 

“We need a place to live, Moneypenny.” Trying to steer her away from talking about his situation with Trevelyan any further.   Get online.  Find us a place to live.” he shooed her towards his laptop.  “Lots of room for us to putter around in.  With a room for me to hide all my tech in so I don’t drive you insane with it all.  And a massive shower or something too. You choose, Moneypenny.  I’ll buy.  I have funds squirreled away. We’ll start looking this weekend unless you have plans with Jarred,” he teased her.   

“Moneypenny…“  He stopped as a thought suddenly occurred to him.  "If I take this offer, I won’t be Quartermaster anymore.   I won’t be Q anymore.”

“You will always be Q to me, always be the Quartermaster.  It’s in your nature.  Sometimes I’m not sure where your true personality and the Quartermaster begins and ends, but I don’t really care love.  You've been ordering me around since the first day I met you, and I've been ignoring you almost as long.”  They smiled at each other, comfortable and familiar.  They could flirt up a storm or be the siblings they never had, and either way worked just fine.


	32. Chapter 32

Moneypenny went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle.  “This seemed a bit presumptuous, but I bought it on my way home…  I thought maybe we’d only be toasting my job offer, but I’m so much happier to be celebrating your good fortune too.”  She popped the cork on the champagne and then looked around in a panic for suitable glasses before the entire contents fizzed onto the floor, eventually settling on two clean mugs.

“Cheers.” She nudged her Spiderman mug against Q’s Pikachu mug.  “To us, love.  And the new big adventure.”

By the time the bottle was dead they had a list of possible houses with a favourite they both agreed on.  They were busy arguing good-naturedly about the distribution of square footage and the appropriate use of cushions when Moneypenny’s mobile rang.  Casting an odd look at Q she excused herself to the kitchen to take the call.

“He’s what?  For goodness sake James.  Is he alright?  Yes, of course.  No, I won’t.  I said not didn't I?  Fine!”

“Everything ok, Moneypenny?” Q asked, scowling at her fake reassuring nod.  He hummed with dissatisfaction, but went back to contemplating the flat on the Realtor’s website. After a tense half hour where Moneypenny’s mind was clearly elsewhere Q yawned and stretched.  “Bedtime I think Moneypenny.”  She smiled gratefully and headed for the bathroom only stopping when Q spoke again.

“I think I need to call Alec now before I lose my nerve.”  She looked like she was about to say something but changed her mind.

“Whatever you think Q.  You know where I am if you need me love.”  Q watched her bedroom door close behind her, supremely grateful that it stopped two inches before being fully closed.  With trembling fingers he picked up his phone and dialed Trevelyan’s number.

And he quickly disconnected the call before it could ring through.    He had no clue what to say to Trevelyan. He definitely needed to tell him about the job offer and he had promised Trevelyan that they would talk after two months but he feared that they were not any closer to resolving things between them than they were before.

Q sat staring at the phone number that was still listed in his favourites.  His thoughts were everywhere, one end of the emotional spectrum to the other.  He knew he was ready for a change, a new career path, a new life with Moneypenny in tow. Well,  at least for awhile until she found Mr. Right. But, part of him knew he wasn't ready to move forward without Trevelyan.  The odds of them resolving things between them though were not in his favour.

"Oh bloody fucking hell," he cursed himself and dialed Trevelyan's number. The call rang multiple times.  Q was just about to hang up when he answered.  
  
"Q?"  
  
"Hello Alec." Q responded tentatively at first.  "Oh Christ Alec. I forgot what time it is there.    I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's alright Q. I'm glad you called."  
  
"Two months are almost up Alec. I know I promised.  Thought we should talk." Q wasn't sure what to say.  Every time they tried to talk it turned into World War III.  
  
"It's really good to hear your voice.  Wish you weren't an ocean away, Q." Trevelyan's voice was strained. Tired. Off.   
  
"Alec..." Q paused for a moment and listened.  Really listened to the background noise on Trevelyan's end of the mobile.  There were too many sounds for waking him up in the middle of the night. He knew those sounds. He knew that beeping.  Knew those sounds too well and was too familiar with them. He had listened to those very sounds, probably in that very room, for what seemed like days running onto eternity.   
  
"Alec Trevelyan... You're in Medical.  What the bloody fuck did you do?"

“Ah,” Trevelyan muttered reluctantly, wondering how little he could get away with revealing.  “Abrupt end to a mission which resulted in minor injuries.  Nothing to worry about.”  It probably would have been enough to deflect anyone other than Q who recognised the strain in Trevelyan’s voice that spoke of controlled pain.

“If I have to hack your medical records I will be seriously pissed off.  Now tell me.”

Trevelyan chuckled, which ended in a pained groan.  “Shot in the upper chest just below the clavicle.  Another in the thigh.  And I may have blown myself up as a way of distracting the twat with the Glock.  They’re still picking bits of computer out of me.”

“Your timing is always so impeccable Alec.  Who was the bloody moron that let you loose on a mission with explosives?   I suppose it was probably Bond.  There is no way Tanner would have approved of this.” ranting at him in his Quartermaster voice followed by a deep sigh.  “You two need a fucking babysitter.“

“Christ, Alec… How many times is that?” Q continued babbling at him in frustration.  “I don’t know of any Double O in history that blows up more shite than you.  Your luck in going to run out some day.”

“Well if I had the handler I need, instead of one who’s filling in until the Quartermaster gets his arse back in the country…”  Trevelyan let out a hiss that was half pain and half irritation.  “Damnit Q, you’re a big miss.  Wouldn't stop me blowing shit up, but I might take more care not to ensure I’m in the middle of it.”

“When are you coming home anyway?  I could do with a new visitor.  Sick of James loitering around making an arse of himself with the nursing staff.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the call.  “Reason why I am calling, Alec.  I know we said two months.  That we would talk then and we do need to talk.” Q took and deep breath before he said the words that he knew would send this conversation into a tail spin.  “I don’t think I’m coming home, Alec.  At least not to stay.  I have a job offer here.  So does Moneypenny.”

“What?  Q…”  Trevelyan groped for the control that would lift the head of the bed further, as though sitting up would make it easier to understand what the fuck Q was talking about.  “You have to come back; you’re the bloody Quartermaster of MI6 for fucks sake.” He wondered if the drugs were affecting his brain.  “I need you here, not thousands of miles away.  Why are you saying this?”

“You and I both know that MI6 will find another bloody Quartermaster, Alec.  The only reason why I am the Quartermaster is that Boothroyd had the gall to up and get himself killed and they needed someone to clean up the mess at that moment.   And at the moment, I can’t seem to be the Quartermaster, can I?  Can’t even manage to get myself into Q Branch without having a mental meltdown.” He could feel himself starting to get worked up but just couldn't manage to hold it back.  Bloody hell… why did talking to Trevelyan always do this to him.

“I have an amazing job offer here, Alec.” He began but paused for a moment.  “And you don’t really need me there.  Maybe at one time Alec, but not now, not me. 

“So forget being Quartermaster.   There are organizations all over the world that would fight to offer you a fantastic job, and you’d be able to insist on working out of London.  You have a home here and…”  Trevelyan knew he was getting close to begging which would be the surest way to have Q hang up on him.  He tried a different tack.  “It’s not fair to make Moneypenny stay with you.  She has a life in London too.  Tell me what’s so fantastic about this job, that you’d give up everything?”

"I'm not making Evie stay with me Alec.  It's her decision.  They made her an amazing offer.  Field work, a team.  She doesn't want to be a glorified file clerk for M forever. I can take care of myself, Alec."  Talking with Trevelyan was so exasperating. One part of him wanted to growl at him and another part wanted to tell him how much he missed him.

"I'll tell you about the offer, Alec, but first tell me you're alright." he asked forgetting his anger from before.

“I’m trying to be.  Everything heals eventually Q, some things just take a bit longer.  You’re obviously doing well, settling into your new life with Moneypenny.  You always were inseparable but I didn't see that coming.  Maybe I’ll come visit the happy couple someday.”  He coughed and let out a moan of pain.  “Fucking hell.  Yes I know I’m being an arse about it Q.  Tell me about the fucking wonderful job before I hit this morphine button again."

"Vast much more money than I was making at MI6.  Setting up my own unit in Cyber Securities. Pick my own team.  Minimal travel.   Set my own hours. I can't work the hours I would need to be Quartermaster.   I'm just not physically capable of it now, Alec.  They want me here, Alec. They appreciate my skills."  

"Alec,  Moneypenny and I aren't a couple.  You of all people should know that.  There's nothing between us like that."  Not like there was between the two of us he thought to himself.

“I know that, you idiot.” Trevelyan made a noise that should have been a chuckle if it hadn't set him off to coughing again.  When he’d recovered his breath he said hoarsely, “Doesn't stop me being jealous that she still gets to share your life Q.  I miss you a stupid amount, and even though I know you’re doing just fine without me, there’s a big part of me that hoped you’d want me around.  There’s a bloody huge ocean between us now.”

“The job sounds great Q.   You’ll be brilliant at it.  The best Cyber Securities boss they’re ever likely to have.”

"Alec," Q started and stopped to rethink what he was going to say.  "When they release you from Medical, you'll have recovery time before you are sent out again. Come see me, Alec.  We can't resolve any of this over the phone.  We need to talk in person.  I understand though if you don't want to... If you've moved on."

Trevelyan snorted.  “Yeah, moving on.  That didn't work out too well for me.”  He was silent for a moment, pondering the wisdom of taking the trip.  “You’re serious Q?  You want me to come out there and talk?  Your shiny new life is untainted so far, do you really want to risk me messing that up for you?”  A thought occurred, that was unwelcome and uncomfortable.  “Do you think…  I mean, have you moved on?  Would it be a final hello-goodbye?  I don’t think I could do that in person Q.  Better to do that right now and get it over with.” 

"Christ Alec. You are such a toddler sometimes. Do you really think I would have you fly across the ocean just to dump your sorry arse when you got here."  Emotions were starting to become strained and if he wasn't careful in what he said next the entire conversation would deteriorate quickly.

"I'll be honest with you, Alec. I did try to move on but it didn't work out.  Got dumped again.  Seems my mode in relationships.  Was told my heart wasn't in it."  Q sighed.  "It's alright if you don't want to come, Alec. Just tell me. "

“I do want to. It will be good to see you.  If you need me to break his legs for hurting you, I’ll be only too happy.  Bastard.”  Trevelyan was curious to know if Q had found he had a type, but thought it wise to quit while he was fractionally ahead.

”Will you call me again?  Any time is good, day or night.  Think I’ll be here a few more days at least and it’s dull.  You know that it’s not a good idea to leave a bored Double O alone for long.”

"Of course I'll call again, if you want. Not sure when it will be. Moneypenny and I are going to be in and out, but I will call." It was actually nice to have a conversation with Trevelyan this long without it turning into a huge fight.

"And Alec, you don't have to break his legs for me. I deserved to be dumped.  I was the bastard, not him."


	33. Chapter 33

Moneypenny heard Q say goodnight to Trevelyan from her sneaky position behind her bedroom door.  She scuttled to the bed and dragged the duvet over her fully clothed body and made like she was asleep.  Ten seconds later Q barged into her room without knocking and flicked on the light.  “What…?” she said blearily, rubbing fake sleep from her eyes and carefully attempting to sit up without dislodging the covers.

"Moneypenny, you are such a cow sometimes. You knew Alec was in Medical and didn't tell me!  That's what that phone call was about earlier.  It was Bond, wasn't it. Don't give me that fake sleeping thing.  I'm not one of your boy toys you can pull that shite on.  Get your arse out of that bed and come talk to me," he limped back out of her bedroom giving the door another shove for good measure.   "And bring the bottle of wine to the sofa with you.  No.. Bring two."

“Oh, so its alright for us not to tell Trevelyan about your little sojourn into the world of the beeping machines, but you expect to be informed if he stubs his toe, is that it?”  she yelled after him, searching around for pyjamas.  If Q was going to have a tantrum, she might as well get comfortable, because he could go for hours.  

In the kitchen she picked up the bottle of wine, then had a change of heart, selecting a bottle of vodka instead.  Getting Q very drunk suddenly seemed like a marvellous solution.  At least drunk enough for his mouth to stop working and his brain to give in to sleep.  He would be far more placid in the morning, hungover and pathetic.

"Oh you know that is utterly totally different,  Moneypenny. He dumped me. Left me, Moneypenny. We couldn't even be in the same room together." He flopped down on the sofa throwing a pillow on top of the coffee table to prop his leg up on. "At least we are on speaking terms now and actually just carried on a conversation without screaming at each other.  Hell just froze over, Moneypenny."

He took one of the glasses she was carrying and held it up for her to fill it.  "Fuck Moneypenny!  I asked him to come here to talk.   I am so screwed Moneypenny."

“This again, love?  You’re not the same man you were even two months ago.”  She grinned wickedly and saluted him with her glass.  “For one thing, you have definitely been screwed a few times since then and you’re generally a more tolerable man because of it.”

She stared at his glass pointedly until he took the hint and swallowed down a large gulp, wincing at the fire in his throat that made his eyes water.  Pleased he’d started she continued “ And yes, he dumped you, but it was almost a year ago now.  Give the man a chance Q.  Now, down in one so I can give you a refill.  You need to get some practice in before Alec visits.”

Q did as she told him and downed the remnants in the glass in one go. Cringing  at the burn, but he held his glass out for a refill.  "Am I being ridiculous?  Do you think there is any way Alec and I can work this out or at least end up on decent terms?" taking another large gulp.

"Oh god Moneypenny. I forgot to tell him not to say anything about the job offers.  You have to call Bond and have him tell Alec not to say anything."  he had almost downed the second glass when he blurted out again.  "Damn you, Moneypenny.  You weren't going to tell me!"

“It’s the middle of the night over there Q, who is he going to tell?”  Seeing that he was going to press the issue she waved her mobile at him.  “Fine, look I’ll text him ok?  I’m not ringing Bond at this hour, he’ll take it as an invitation for…  Never mind, drink up.”  She ducked her head to hide her blush and tapped rapidly at the phone.  

“Happy now?”  She said as the whooshing noise indicated the text had been sent.

“In my defence, if he’d been dying I would have told you, but he only has a few holes in him for god’s sake.  James thought I should know, just in case the silly arse got gangrene or something and we had to tell you, but he asked me not to.  He didn’t want Alec quote ‘pining like an abandoned puppy’ all over again.  Apparently he’s been an absolute nightmare,” she said cheerfully, less discreet now the effects of the spirit were warming her from the inside.

"He's pining?  For me?  He is such a git." Q held up his glass staring at it before taking another drink.  "Moneypenny can this be fixed?  I don't want things like this."

And then doing a complete change of subject.  "Job!  Job, Evie.  We are going to be working an ocean apart. It won't work. How can that work? " he gulped down the rest of the glass. "Oh god.... M is going to be so pissed."

Moneypenny sloshed more vodka into his glass and topped up her own. If they were going to get drunk they may as well do it properly. She snuggled her way under his arm and balanced the bottle between his legs.

"You know what I think? I think you two work far better as a couple when there are thousands of miles between you. What does it matter where you call home? As long as you're having a lot of sex when you're together instead of whinging at each other."

"But Evie, we whinge so well. It's one of our better traits." he giggled at her well on his way to being utterly pissed.  "But he is such a bloody bastard. I guess I am too." he sighed. "Do you really think it could work, Moneypenny?  Honest with me pleaseeeee?"  She giggled right along with him glad she had spurred the silly snarky drunk Q and not the maudlin one. He only had two settings when drinking.

"You won't leave me if Alec and I work things out will you, Moneypenny?  You will break my heart completely if you leave me!  You must know that you are my only true love!" he snuggled in pulling her closer holding up his glass for a refill.

"Ohh Moneypenny," eyes falling on his laptop still sitting in the coffee table. "We are house hunting tomorrow.  Show me again what you found."

"Silly boy, no way I'm leaving. Staying with you means we can find a fabulous house that I can fill with all kinds of cushions." She had no idea why the idea of cushions was so hilarious but they were both sniggering as she pulled up the website. "How about this one? Each floor is self-contained but there are plenty areas we can share too. Or this one has nice layout."

She took a few gulps forgetting it wasn't water she was swallowing. "Grief, that's good," she croaked. "One thing if Alec comes back. I know there'll always be good spirit in the house."

"Fuck Alec. This is our house, Moneypenny." waving his hand around sloshing vodka on himself and precariously close to his laptop. "We will allow him to stay with us only if he is not a bastard.  Oh... and amazing sex." he started to giggle again.

"Pick a place Moneypenny. Something that you like and will be happy living in.  I don't care as long as I have a place to sleep, place for my tech and I don't have to do stairs constantly.  Fucking leg." he sighed.

"I will not fuck Alec, not even for high quality vodka. That's firmly your department love." She kissed his cheek sloppily. "I want that one, the stairs don't even look too horrific if you need to come upstairs with me. Look there's even an office type thingy you can put all your junk in. And it has huge wardrobes. I need huge wardrobes. I may also be slightly pissed."

"I am really pissed, Moneypenny.  No dinner.  Too busy getting dumped by Todd for being a bastard and still being in love with bloody fucking Alec Trevelyan.  Does he love me Moneypenny?  Me... Not me that he used to bed.  Can't have my heart crushed again, Evie.  Just can't.  Moneypenny.  Serious. Two things.  Which house do you like... And will you cook me some eggs. Pleaseeeee." holding his glass up to her again.

She pulled away from him to sit upright and adopted her most serious expression, hands moving to rest either side of his face. Unfortunately one still held her drink and the glass pressed awkwardly against his cheek. "Two things," she echoed. "One, yes Alec-bloody-Trevelyan loves you. Your dodgy leg is nothing compared to all your worst habits. Two. That one." She pointed at the laptop that was scrolling through the screensaver. "And three I can't cook legs. When sober. I make the finest pissed legs in the world."

"I love you too, Moneypenny. Toast. I want toast too Moneypenny." Glancing at the laptop trying to focus on the screen. "Done Moneypenny. We look at it tomorrow and if you still like it, I will buy it.  How much is it?  Fuck.. I don't care Moneypenny. As long as you like it."

She clattered around in the kitchen for around twenty minutes and emerged eventually with two plates of reasonably edible food, or at least it was only black around the very edges. "Eat around the burnt bits." Q's plate wobbled precariously, almost dumping the entirety into his lap but surprisingly quick reflexes had him make the save.

"Don't care if it's burnt.  Soak up some of the..." he waved his hand at his glass which he was still drinking with his burnt eggs and toast.... late night breakfast of champions.    

"Thank you for staying with me, Evie.  No one else has ever put up with my shite like you do.  Too bad you aren't male... Russian... and Blonde." he giggled.  "We would be perfect together then."

"Idiot, we're perfect as we are love. I get all the good stuff and none of the mess. Take that however you want," she leered, wondering why her glass was empty again. "We should go to bed. The bottle has gone missing."


	34. Chapter 34

Q and Moneypenny managed to finally make their way to bed, arm and arm. Q only ended up on the floor once, giggling.  Which meant Moneypenny ended up in the floor once also trying to get him up and moving again.  She had seriously contemplated just throwing the duvet over him there but on second thought didn't want to listen to him be a whiny bitch in the morning.

Finally deposited in bed, tucked in, peck on the cheek and sweet dreams, Q tried to settle in to sleep but there were too many thoughts churning in his pissed spinning head.

One bad thought wandered through his head and of course his better sense did not pay attention at all.  Q fumbled for his mobile and pulled up his favourites attempting to figure out which was which. Hoping he pushed the correct one because it would be extremely embarrassing to call Tanner or R like this but then again maybe he should call M and resign... Maybe later.  The call rang.  "Q... Are you alright?"  Trevelyan's voice filtered through his pissed stupor. "It's... It's 3:30 am for you Q?"  

It was a few moments before Q answered him because his brain and speaking ability were not communicating well, just long enough for Trevelyan to begin to start to worry.   "Alec Trevelyan, you are such a bloody fucking bastard and a shite boyfriend.  Why do I fucking love you?"

"Delighted though I am to hear it Q, I don't think you're going to remember it in the morning" Trevelyan chuckled softly. "You're a bloody adorable little fool sometimes."

"I'll have you know that I have an eidetic memory. I don't forget anything.  However, I may be slightly pissed.  Well actually really bloody pissed. It's all Moneypenny's fault. She made me eggs and toast. It was burnt. It was good." he sighed closing his eyes and snuggled down into his duvet but with his eyes closed the room began to spin.  

"Alec... I miss you," Q muttered, way too much vodka beginning to take its toll on him.  "But.... I'm afraid. I can't..."  There was a long pause. Trevelyan was beginning to think that maybe Q had passed out finally.  "I'd sleep much better if you were here to fuck me into the mattress." Q blurted out of nowhere as if it was just an everyday statement.

"Shit Q," Trevelyan groaned. "At the risk of fucking this up all over again, you're not the only one. But this isn't a conversation to have when you’re off your head. I'm glad Moneypenny is looking after you but she should make you go to bed."

"I am in bed, Alec. Couldn't sleep.  You're right.... Sorry.... Sorry... Not a good time to have conversation." he sighed rooting around in the bed trying to get comfortable. "Still wish you were here to fuck me into the mattress. I should go. Still need to call that bastard M and resign."

"Not right now Q, sleep first. M will be pissed off enough without you slurring your words or calling him names."

Trevelyan rolled onto his side, shoving the phone between his head and the pillow. "Go to sleep. I'll talk to you very soon." He didn't want to hang up.

"Not sleepy, Alec.  Room spins when I close my eyes.  Vodka hates me.  This is all Moneypenny's fault."  tossing and turning again. "I can't get this bloody leg comfortable."  Q snarled.  "Bloody fucking cripple."  

"Alec....  Alec...  Will you come visit me?  Even though I'm not a nice guy and I am a bloody stupid bastard."

"Yes I'll come Q, even though all that because you're still the bloody stupid bastard I... Still the one I want to be with.   I need to tell Moneypenny very sternly that you should stay off vodka or she should keep a closer eye on you."

Q giggled, "Moneypenny is pissed too.  I think she went to bed but I don't know.  Maybe she fell down again and is sleeping on the floor.   She threatened to leave me on the floor, Alec.   Moneypenny is such a bitch sometimes Alec."    

"Alec,  I'm sorry we fight." Q muttered trying to keep his mobile up to his ear and not loose it in the duvet.  "I am so going to hate myself in the morning.   Alec... I don't hate you.  I'm sorry I said that before."  

"It's fine you have a lot to hate me for. I'm sorry I tried to force you to forgive me. I know it's not that simple. But we'll talk it over properly soon I promise."

"You might want to check on Moneypenny once you sleep." Trevelyan tutted "whoever allowed you two to live together was mad. I wouldn't put either of you in charge of a cat."

"It was M.  He put Moneypenny in charge of me.  Don't tell anyone I know but I do.  Can't keep anything from me within the system at MI6.  Wanted her to babysit me. Get me back to work."

"It's okay though.  Evie would have been here anyway, Alec. She's family."

"Alec..." Q whined into the phone loosing his original train of thought. "You're too far away.  In the wrong bed.  In that hateful place where all they want to do it poke you with needles."

"I can't disagree. There are too many needles and not enough Q's." Trevelyan was amused now, the young man's babbling distracting from the nagging pain the morphine only dulled. "it's a shit place to be alone."

"That is an awful word, Alec... Alone.  I don't like being alone.  Scares me." Utterly pissed was not a good time for Q to become emotional and maudlin because you never knew what direction his mind was going to flow.  

And the babble began, "I'm scared, Alec. Scared of the future, of facing everything alone. If you and I can't make things work," Q drifted for a moment. "future holds for me, being alone. And even if things get better, I won't have you by here every day. I suppose I only have myself to blame for things being so fucked up. I am such a idiotic wanker."

"Oh fucking hell, Alec. Don't know... I'm sorry.  Need to shut up.  Need to sleep."

"Yes, you are, and yes, you do. I'm not going to baby you anymore Q," Trevelyan said gently "and you're only alone if you choose to be. I've fucked up just as much but I wish I was with you right now, more than anything. Sleep please. It puts me one night closer to you."

"Need sleep.  Don't want to be ill.   Maybe I won't call M.  Goodnight Alec. Come see me soon."

"Night Q"

\-----

"M's office. This is Jessica speaking. How can I assist you?"  

"Jessica.... the inadequate replacement for the ever lovely Ms. Moneypenny. This is the Quartermaster.  I want... Need to speak with Mallory.

"Quartermaster?  M is not available at the moment.  I can pass you in to leave a message."   Jennifer suggested warily.

"If you are capable of doing that Moneypenny clone, that would be lovely."

The call rang into M's voicemail.    Blah blah blah leave a message.  "Mallory, this is your Quartermaster.  Well, I suppose I should say your former Quartermaster. I fucking quit!" he sighed in relief.  "I am not coming home from my field trip.  I am staying.  Might as well. Can't seem to get my sorry arse back into my department anyway."

"But.... Job offer.  Here. Amazing.  Tell the Queen goodbye for me. Give her a hug."

"Oh. Tell Tanner send my shite from my office.  And tell R, I am so sorry she is going to have to babysit those fucking Double O agents on her own."

"You know Mallory, you weren't my M anyway.  I miss her."

And with that, the former Quartermaster disconnected the call.

  
  



	35. Chapter 35

“What the bloody hell have you done?” Q’s bedroom door crashed open with such violence the entire contents of his shelves rattled.  “I am going to kill you.  Actual bloody murder. With pain and blood and everything,” she snarled, yanking the duvet off him with no care for whatever state he was in underneath.  
  
She hurled her mobile at his pillow where it thudded just left of his head forming a deep dip in the cushion. “Twelve fucking calls in the last half hour from Mallory who is apoplectic over a certain Quartermaster’s late night resignation. Do you know how much foul language an outwardly uptight pen pusher can cram into each three minute voicemail? He has threatened to fire me you selfish little shite!”

Q, absolutely naked, stared up at her trying to understand what she was screaming at him about.  "It's fucking cold Moneypenny!  What are you ranting about?  Christ Evie. Tone it down about 5000 decibels.  My fucking head."

He tried to reach for the duvet only to have to ripped back out of his hands. "I didn't call Mallory last night.  I called Alec.  At least I somewhere remember talking to Alec.  Maybe it was the day before. "

“You absolute bastard. You called M at some point and you quit on his sodding voicemail, apparently not very politely and you upset his poor PA. I was supposed to get you back to work and now M is furious with me for… Well every fucking problem in the known universe for all I know.  I stopped listening after the third message.” She slumped heavily on the duvet beside him effectively trapping it and leaving him to shiver. “I planned to resign quietly and professionally you arse. Now I’ll be lucky not to be hunted down and terminated by Mr Double O fucking seven himself. How could you do this to me? I hate you.”

She finally turned the full force of her glare on him. “Oh great, not only do you shit on me professionally, you also flaunt your nudity before I’ve even had my coffee. And I have a bitch of a hangover. And what the bloody hell do you mean, you called Alec? In the state you were in? Oh this is bad… You, my friend, are very bad to me. I really hate you this morning.”

"Well if you'd give me the bloody duvet you wouldn't have to see me naked and I would be much warmer." he growled at her as hunted around in the bed and finally came up with his mobile underneath a pillow.  Searching through his recent calls he finally looked up at her sheepishly.  

"Sorry Evie.  Guess I did call Alec and M.  Fucking hell...   I am so sorry.  But damnit Moneypenny,  you got me pissed and went to bed.  You didn't babysit me all night.  You know how I get."

"Fuck... What did I say to M's secretary and on M's voicemail?" he pulled a pillow over his face trying to block out the light.  "Christ... What did I say to Alec?"

"Seriously? I just told you that you have wrecked my career and you're worrying about what you said to bloody-Trevelyan? Who is here? Who has access to tools that could cause you serious damage right now?" She jumped off the bed and in a fit of petulance dragged the duvet onto the floor. "Knowing you you probably had horrid sticky phone sex!" She glared at the duvet and dropped it, wiping her hands on her pyjamas.

"Get in the shower mister, you have a hell of a lot to make up for, starting with a fabulously expensive and greasy breakfast. I have to call M and explain... Then somehow tell him I'm staying too. God, did I mention that today you are my least favourite person in the entire fucking world?"

Q attempted to pull himself out of bed without his head exploding.  "If it's any consolation, Evie,  we didn't have phone sex.  I'd remember that," he smirked at her trying to grab the duvet up off the floor. But every time he bent over his head tried to explode.  

"Fuck it" he muttered heading to the bathroom.  "Evie,  I'll fix things with M.  And if he tries to put a reprimand in your file, I'll hack in it and fix it.  He can't keep me out of MI6.  Neither can R."

"Will you love me again if I buy you a house today, Evie, and greasy breakfast." he whinged.

The estate agent was a perky young blonde with a clipboard and a designer briefcase that had Moneypenny drooling. “How can she afford that on her salary?” She muttered to Q enviously, irritated by the girl’s bouncy attitude.  They had reached a prickly truce following a slap up meal at their favourite breakfast place and we're now standing outside Moneypenny's preferred option with arms linked. She looked up at the door casting a saccharine smile at the young woman.  “Looks gorgeous,” she called, detaching herself from Q and trotting up the steps.

Q slowly made his way up the front steps and stopped just inside the front door leaning on the door frame.  From there, he could see that the place was huge.  Larger than it looked in the pictures online.  And at a glance he could see why Moneypenny had fallen in love with it.

Moneypenny and the Estate Agent were already wandering through the lower storey chattering away.  Q slowly wandering behind them mentally calculating the size of the rooms and inwardly wishing his head would quit hurting.

Moneypenny looked back at him with a mischievous grin, and giggled at his obvious sigh.  What she was thinking was guaranteed to make his head hurt even more, and he took a step backwards when she sashayed towards him with an alluring smile.

“Q darling, I’m going to check out the upstairs. See how many rooms we need to christen when we move in.” She said loudly and pressed her lips firmly against his for far longer than was appropriate, sliding her hand down to his arse to give it a squeeze. When she broke away she grinned so only he could see. “I’m still fucking mad at you, but I love it so far. Negotiate a good price” she whispered, wiggling away up the stairs with a seductive look.

“Your girlfriend seems very taken with the house.  Would you like… I mean… Um… Can you make it upstairs?” She blushed furiously.

"Girlfriend?" he started to protest but decided he was in enough trouble with her already today.  "Yes.. Girlfriend. She is lovely isn't she." who would castrate me in a heartbeat if I angered her enough and not feel the slightest remorse. "Must keep her happy." He smiled at her.  

"I can make it up the stairs.  Will just take me a while.  Evie has the patience of a saint to put up with me." They slowly headed up the stairs where he could hear her heels already wandering from room to room. "Do the furnishings stay with the property?"

Moneypenny appeared at the top of the stairs with a huge grin on her face obviously overly pleased with the place.

“Q poppet, it’s lovely, I do so love all the furnishings,” she simpered, fluttering her eyelashes. “But I don’t know… The place we saw yesterday was so much prettier… And it was cheaper… But smaller… Oh I don’t know.  What do you think my darling?”

Bouncy blonde consulted her clipboard. “Um… The furnishing is negotiable, you can make an offer which I can discuss with the vendor. Lots of space is a good thing for a young couple such as yourselves.  Plenty of room to raise a family.”

“Oh yes Q love, think of the place filled with babies.” She clapped her hands, almost losing control when he turned his murderous glare on her. “He’d make a gorgeous daddy, don't you think?  Please, persuade him to buy.  He won’t listen to little old me, but a professional like yourself…”

Q made his way over to her still glaring which quickly switched to a smile before he turned around toward the Estate Agent.  He slipped his arm around Moneypenny's waist letting his hand fall lower to grab her arse. "She gets so excited.  Whatever makes you happy, love. Why don't you take another wander around while this nice young lady and I do some negotiating" he glanced at her with a smirk giving her arse a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek.

A few minutes later Q and the agent could be heard slowly making their way back downstairs where Moneypenny was snooping through the kitchen cupboards. "If the owner accepts the offer with the furnishings, I'll need a few days to have the funds transferred. We'd like to close the sale as soon as possible and move right in. Where we are at the moment is temporary housing."

The estate agent shook hands with Q and exited to the pavement to make a phone call allowing them to have a final look around before she locked up.  Q leaned against the kitchen counter watching Moneypenny make a final circuit.  She came back to the kitchen grinning from ear to ear.

“Happy?” She asked sweetly.  “A little bit of romance works wonders on that type. You’re always asking me to marry you and have your babies. We may as well make the fictional babies work for us.”

"I so hate you some days Moneypenny. Just for that I should make you stay home and change nappies all day."

"But seriously Evie, if this is what will make you happy, then I am happy. We need a comfortable home and I have the money stashed away.  Better to spent it on something useful such as this than let it sit hidden away somewhere.   Not as if I am going to ever have someone to leave it too."

"So which bedroom do you want?" he smirked secretly hoping the offer was accepted.  

“I’ll take up, if you want to take down, or we can arrange the space however is easiest for you? I like to be within hollering distance when you’re having a bad night, but far enough away that I don’t hear every orgasm.” She looked at him slyly wondering if he’d told Trevelyan he was buying a place. If he and Trevelyan worked things out eventually she didn't want to be party to x-rated Russian moaning, even if she didn't understand a word, but she wanted to be close enough to hear if Q had distressing nightmares that required her comforting presence.

“My god Q, this is the first real home of our own. We can personalise it. How will we split funds? We need to figure all that out.  Christ, will I need a mortgage? Oh I don’t care.  I’m going to be living with my best friend, who I’m still fucking furious with, but who I love more than anyone in the world.”


	36. Chapter 36

The Estate Agent locked up and dropped them back off at the flat promising to get back with them as soon as she heard back regarding their offer.  Q thought she was just as excited as Moneypenny because she was obviously going to make an large commission from the sale. But as soon as they were in the door of their flat the open banter started again. "I don't understand, Moneypenny. I thought listening to me get pounded into that mattress fueled your dreams of things you want to do with Agent Hottie." he smirked at her.  "Although I do appreciate nightmare patrol.  Maybe someday you won't have to do that anymore."

He wandered into the kitchen to find glasses and empty vodka bottles still scattered on the counter.  "Let's not do this again too soon please," he frowned waving an empty bottle at her.  His head still hurt.  "Do I need to call M and apologize or better to steer clear of that nightmare. Fucking hell, can't believe I did that.  How angry do you think Tanner is?"  And then all of sudden as if it finally sank into his head he turned back to her, "Evie,  we have a house.  A huge fucking house!"

“Not just a house Q, a whole new life being Brits in America. We’re a fucking sitcom,” she laughed and it was a giddy excited sound that had him laughing along with her. “Poor Bill, I will miss him so much.  Maybe we can invite him out for a visit once we’re settled by way of apology for making his life unbearable for a few months? “

They puttered around the kitchen for a while, clearing up and just being together doing nothing important in a way only good friends could. “I need to call M,” Moneypenny said eventually, “He’ll be furious that I’ve decided to take the job here, but not being with you is unimaginable. It's a great job and far more of a challenge than working for M, I just hope he understands that.  I’ll apologise on your behalf if you don’t want to call him again?”

"You call Moneypenny. I refuse. God knows what I said in my pissed stupor.  The entirety of MI6 has probably heard it all by now.  First I meltdown in Q Branch and now this."  He managed to make his way over to a kitchen chair to sit down physically hurting from all their house adventures.  

"I'm surprised Bond or Trevelyan haven't called yet to make fun of me." he sighed. "No more vodka for awhile."

"Evie... Evie, stop puttering for a moment please." Getting her attention. "I just want to tell you thank you for everything... For being here for me.  I would have given up a long time ago without you bitching at me." He smirked at her.  

Moneypenny squeezed his shoulder. "Hey, I thought we agreed to keep the mushy, sentimental stuff to when we'd had a few so we could claim maudlin drunkenness as an excuse." She leaned down to put her mouth close to his ear as though they had an audience. "you're welcome though. You're not the only one to have been given a new shot at life. I feel like the person I could be is just under the surface here. i was sick of being the agent-that-killed-007. If I was a man I wouldn't get half as much hassle." 

She straightened and grabbed a tea towel, drying dishes at death-defying efficiency. "I have got ask though... Do you like Jarred?"

"What does it matter if I like him or not Moneypenny?  He's your bedroom partner not mine.  Seems like a nice guy.  Background check didn't turn up any hidden skeletons or wives in other cities," he smiled at her. She knew he would have checked him out completely by now.  Overprotective.  

He stared at her while she continued to wash dishes her back to him.  "Wait... Is this you wanting me to say bad things about Agent 'I'm so big and bad'?  Are you waffling  about Jarred?  Not sure he is for you?  If you aren't sure, dump him, Evie.  We can be a couple again and have babies.   We have a house to fill."

"I'd rather have cats," she shivered. "It's not that... Everything's fine." She turned to face him but found she couldn't look at him directly. "I couldn't be with someone you disapproved of. Sooner or later the two of you would clash and there'd be only one winner, even if I thought you were in the wrong. Whoever I'm with needs to understand that you're part of the deal now and if they can't hack that then..."

She scrubbed at a mug that was long since dry. "Do you understand what I'm saying? Any man who doesn't accept I'd drop every and all plans for you if you so much as snuffled is not the man for me, no matter how many orgasms he can wring out of me in one night. It's just how it is."

"Moneypenny," he swallowed hard.  She was the only one who with a few words could make him so emotional. "I don't know what I would do every morning if I had to wake up and not know you were close by.  You knew that I would gladly ruin anyone for the rest of their life who dared hurt you.   Yes, I know I am a devious little bastard, but one who loves you immensely."

"The same feeling is there for me too Evie. Package deal and no boundaries. And if you told me that Trevelyan was going to break my heart again, I would listen to you and not even try.   Christ Evie, how did we become so entangled... "

She grinned at him and it was slightly manic. "Fuck knows. Mutual need, little lost souls needing a bit of light relief? A desire for family when everything else has gone? I don't analyse it too closely love, just accept that it is and you are. Whatever it and that is."

She gave up on the mug before she polished the pattern from it. "I'd suggest a toast to our future together if the mere thought didn't make me want to vomit. Tea?" She filled the kettle before he could nod, afraid he would reject the idea of what they were to one another.

"For the record, Trevelyan is the best thing that ever happened to you after me.  Don't let him slip away."

"I'll try not to Moneypenny, but I don't know if we are fixable.  We've both said and done a lot of things we never should have.  Some things you can't take back to make go away.  Time will tell, Evie."


	37. Chapter 37

A week and a half later, Moneypenny and Q had both accepted their job offers with the CIA. Mallory of course was still furious with them and was threatening an international scandal that the CIA had been poaching MI6 personnel through bribery and scandal.  Especially since it was during the heightened terrorist alerts throughout the world, and to lose not one but two of his key assets was a black mark on his reputation also.

But at that point neither one of them cared at all.  It was time to move on in life, something that Q was discovering Moneypenny needed just as much as he did.  Being pulled out of the field by the old M and being kept out of the field by Mallory had been a real blow to her self-esteem that she had managed to hide well... but only for so long from Q.

Moneypenny had come to find Q at the end of the day on Wednesday evening.  He was just wrapping up the project he has initially started consulting on for the CIA.  Both were to begin their new assignments on Monday.  

Q was one of the last ones to leave.  Bad habits from MI6, but he was beginning to learn his limitations and knew he could not put in pathetically long days anymore.  He physically could not be on his feet that long and if he tried he paid for it later with pain in his arm and leg.  

Staying a little late also helped him avoid walking out with Todd.  They were on speaking terms, friendly, but it just seemed so terribly awkward to Q.  He gathered his messenger bag up and slowly made his way to where Moneypenny waited at the door for him.  He was tired this evening... long nights lately of nightmares that interrupted rest.  "I ordered takeaway Thai already." giving her a small peck on the cheek.  "No one has to cook. No dishes."  

"You just wanted out of your turn to do dishes, you sneaky little shite," Moneypenny linked his arm through hers and they slowly made their way down the corridor chatting lightly.  She had come to read his pain and weariness and compensated for it without a fuss.  

Moneypenny grabbed their takeaway dinner, returning to car, "Evie," Q caught her attention before she had a chance to start the car. "Before we head back, I have something I want to give you.  Hold out your hand," reaching into his trousers pocket.

"What game are you playing with me, Q?" warily looking at him. "I'm not sure I want to know what you have hidden in your pockets."

Q reached out and dropped a set of keys into her hand. "Your keys to the house, Evie.  Let's have our takeaway in our new home."

Moneypenny stared at the keys lying in the palm of her hand.  “What?  But how?  We haven’t sorted out finances or anything yet.  You’ve bloody bought it without me you git, haven’t you?”  Her anger flared, fingers clenching around the keys.  “This was supposed to be our house Q, now it’s just yours, and I’m just a bloody lodger.”

“No Evie, please don’t be angry.  I told you I had the money.  I have stupid amounts of money that I will never need and I want to do this for you.  I can’t give you marriage and babies, but I can buy you a house.”

Moneypenny glared at him, one hand gripping the keys, the other wrapped around the take out bag.  “You are a stupid arse Q.  That is the dumbest thing you have ever said to me, but might also be the sweetest. I am so cross but…”  She stared at the bright shiny keys again, and sighed, leaning across to kiss his cheek.  “Thank you, you annoying irritating little brat.  I am so paying the bills though, no arguments.  Let's go home.  To our new home. Oh my god, our new home.  When can we move in for real?”

Q grinned as her excitement overtook her anger on the short journey to the new house.  He allowed her to be the one to unlock the door and the first over the threshold.  “You got all of the furniture too?”  Her eyes shone as she took it all in, mentally ticking off the things she’d loved about the house on their first visit.

“Of course.  You might enjoy sleeping on the floor but I prefer a bit of comfort.  This way we can move in immediately without having to wait for deliveries – we could even stay tonight if you’d like?”  He looked sheepish.  “I negotiated for the entire contents, right down to the bedding, kitchen utensils and even the ornaments.  There’s probably plenty we’ll want to dispose of, but I wanted to move quickly…”

She smiled at his embarrassed flush, trailing her hand along the back of the cream sofa on her way to the kitchen.  “I’m horrified to imagine how much money you have lying around if you can afford to do all this.”

She began unpacking the food containers onto the island unit, not bothering to seek out plates.  Q followed her warily, wondering if their argument was over but knowing it was unlikely.  That was confirmed when Moneypenny continued.  “I know you are doing something lovely for me, but don’t assume I’m happy to be a kept woman, just because you have the means to do it Q.  We should have discussed it.”

“I know, I just-“

“Still talking, Q.”  His mouth shut with a click of his teeth.  He knew better to interrupt her when she was delivering a severe reprimand. “Everything going forward is equal, understood?  Or I won’t move in.  Just say ‘yes Evie’ and we’re good so we can eat dinner while it’s hot.”

“Yes Evie,” he said obediently.  Sometimes it was better not to argue.

  
  



	38. Chapter 38

“Q, are you home?” Moneypenny called, pausing in the main doorway to shrug out of her jacket. The house was so huge it was feasible he wouldn't hear her anyway, but it felt polite to let him know she was home with a visitor in tow. Jarred pushed eagerly through the doorway behind her, not waiting for an invitation.

“So, this is what you get for being the nerd’s best friend is it?  Quite a gift Eve, you must look after him very well,” he smirked.  Jarred stalked around the large living room picking things up to examine and putting them back haphazardly.  

She trailed after him, patiently straightening ornaments and books that he disturbed. “We look after each other; that's what friends do Jarred.”

“Still, most people would buy you a beer or a bouquet, not a two million dollar house. It's a bit over the top, is all I’m saying.”  She had a pretty clear idea what he was actually saying and chose to ignore it, drawing him into the kitchen with a flirtatious smile.

"I guess Q's out so I can give you the grand tour.  Whisky to wind down?”

She handed him a generously filled glass and hopped up onto one of the high orange chairs at the breakfast bar. Jarred took a long swallow and then put his glass down, taking Moneypenny's from her too. He cradled her face in his large warm hands and bent his head to kiss her, teasing her lips apart with his tongue. Moneypenny submitted to the kiss, returning the firm pressure of lips and tongue.  Jarred’s hands fell away from her face and he leaned into her, pressing his body against her knees.  One hand slid from her knee up her thigh under her skirt.

“Jarred!” She admonished sharply, twisting away from him and picking up her drink.  He chuckled, moving behind her instead and wrapping has arms around her waist so he could nibble along her neck.

“Come on Eve, tell me you wouldn’t like to fuck on that chair? It’s a perfect height.”

“Quite a few beds in the house, Jarred, that would be much more comfortable than that chair,” Q quipped from the hallway leading into the kitchen.  “And you don’t have to worry about the neighbors watching, unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Sorry to interrupt, Moneypenny,” giving her a peck on the cheek as he wandered past her to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator.  “Won’t be in the way.  Long day and out to pub with team has done me in.  Heading to bed.  Unless you think you need a chaperone,” he smirked at her as he started to head towards the stairs.

"Jarred walked me home and popped in for a quick drink.  I was going to show him around but it will wait for another day.  I think we can control ourselves if you want to head for bed love." She smiled at Q, nudging Jarred's leg to get him to behave. She could feel him glowering over her shoulder, and the possessive arm around her waist was tightening uncomfortably.

"When the lady invites you in for a quick one it would be rude to say no, don't you think?" Moneypenny winced at the pathetic innuendo and smiled apologetically at Q.

Q stopped in the hallway and turned back around to face Jarred and Moneypenny.  “Evie... I’m tired and in some pain so I apologize and forgive me for being an absolute bloody wanker.” And then he turned to Jarred, “It’s obvious there is an issue, Jarred and as Moneypenny can tell you, I am way too blunt for my own good sometimes.”

“And if this is some display of I’m a Hot Dominant Secret Agent, it’s not going to phase me.  Believe me, I’ve babysit much bigger bloody fucking idiots than you.  Double O’s are the most arrogant self-obsessive agents you will ever meet.”  Q smirked as he slid a hand into his trouser pocket where he constantly carried a Taser and would more than happily Taser Jarred in a heartbeat if needed.  Evie would be so pissed at him.  “So if you have something you need to say, let’s get it over with because my bad leg is screaming at me at the moment and would like nothing more than a hot shower and bed.” 

“Not sure why you’d think I have an issue with you Q?  I was just commenting to Eve on how well you look after her.” Jarred smiled slyly.  “Makes it difficult for the rest of us to compete, but I guess there are some areas I still come out on top. Like the bedroom.” He added unnecessarily.

Moneypenny groaned and slid off the chair, pulling Jarred behind her towards the basement before he could make even more of a prat of himself. “Let me show you downstairs, and leave Q to get some sleep, shall we? I’ll call you a cab first, so you aren’t waiting too long.”

“I thought you were going to show me your bedroom Evie? I’m not in any rush to get home.  Why be alone when you can have company?”

“Eve,” she corrected automatically, and didn't miss the irritated glare Jarred sent Q, or the smug smile the younger man returned.  She’d had enough of the posturing for the evening however. “I’m tired too Jarred.  I just want a long hot bubble bath and sleep. Maybe you can stay over at the weekend?”

"Fucking arsehole," Q muttered to himself as he headed towards the stairs leading upstairs, Jarred and Moneypenny disappearing downstairs. It was a long slow climb tonight for him, he had been up too long for his own good but a night out for a while for talk and a few drinks had been good. Eventually reaching the second storey, he wandered to what had become his bedroom. It was good to finally have a place that he could call home.  Not a rented flat or someplace vetted by MI6.

Q turned the water on in the shower to get it hot, downed a pain pill, which he probably shouldn't, but his leg needed more than hot water tonight.  He stripped off his leg brace and clothes carefully balancing himself with the added hand rails in his shower and sat on the bench to let the hot water cascade over him seeking relief.  He would have to pick up his clothes off the floor later or Moneypenny would chastise him.  

Twenty minutes later Moneypenny knocked on Q’s bathroom door. “You ok love?” She listened to the splash of water from the other side of the door and wondered how long she should wait before barging in to check he was alright.  It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had to pick him off the floor of a shower stall, but that had been in the early days when he was weak and aching from pushing himself too hard in physio and his legs had turned to jelly the moment hot water had hit.

"I brought hot tea and some of those weird chewy cookies you’re so fond of” she tried, knocking a little more firmly.  They weren’t an apology for Jarred’s behaviour, she told herself.  If she spent ten minutes proving to the agent that he had nothing to worry about then that was her business.  

“Thought we could snuggle in bed and watch crap re-runs for a little while until you’re sleepy? Thirty seconds to respond Q or I’m coming in.”

  
  



	39. Chapter 39

Moneypenny waited thirty seconds and then waited thirty more before deciding she was just going to barge in.  Q sat curled up on the bench with his bad leg directly under the water that was quickly becoming lukewarm, hair dripping wet and hanging down into his face.

Moneypenny sat the tea and cookies down in the counter, opening the shower door. "Q love, alright?"  Grabbing a large towel, new leg brace from the storage closet, she turned off the cooling water.    

Q finally glanced up at her, "Sorry I was such a bloody bastard Moneypenny.  Just in a mood."  reaching up to take the towel from her. "Think I've just overdone it a little too much the past few weeks.  Just catching up."

"You're definitely not a bastard. It's been a hectic time recently and we're both adjusting to new situations constantly which will take its toll on our tolerance." She helped him to standing, getting dripping wet in the process but not letting him go until he was steady. She picked his clothes off the floor so he wouldn't trip and exited with them to the bedroom.

"I've turned down your bed" she called back, "if you'd rather I left you to it with your cookies then I can head to bed myself? But I think you could use some company.  Even someone who deliberately crumbles cookies into your bed to irritate you." When she turned around he still hadn't left the bathroom.

Q had managed to get his leg brace on but stood still half dripping wet in front of the mirror lost in thought somewhere.  Moneypenny stood there for a few minutes watching him. For some reason this evening his scarring looked angrier than it had in a long time.  And she truly paid attention to just how thin he had become over the past months.

His mood had taken a downward turn over the last few days suddenly. Whether or not it was everything of the last few weeks just catching up with him or something more, she didn't know. But there was definitely something going on inside that strange head of his.

And then the thought occurred to her that Q, had never been released from Psych at MI6. He must have known just how to play the game with the evaluations for the new job.  Either that or they wanted him so badly that they didn't care just how unstable he might be at times.

"Q, love... Alright? Not feeling well? When's the last time you had a Medical look after?" gently laying a hand on his thin shoulder.  "Can't get in bed with that dripping mop of hair," she grabbed up another towel attempted to at least contain the drips from his curls.  "You'll completely soak the pillows that way and chance your death of a cold."

"M'fine Evie," still caught in the reflection in the mirror where she could see a deep sadness taking over his eyes.  "Just need to sleep, I think." turning her way, "You'll stay for a while?  You can pick whatever you want to watch on the television." There was a brief glimpse of something in his eyes pleading with her to stay closer for a while before he headed towards his bed, limp even more pronounced tonight.   

Q picked up his mobile off the bedside table checking for messages and then slowly crawled into his bed basically making a nest out of the blankets.  

Moneypenny crawled beneath the blankets on the other side shoving the pillows into an untidy pile behind her head. Q lay curled with his back to her, one hand hidden under the pillow, the other cushioning his cheek. She rubbed at his bare shoulder making soothing little circles until he began to relax under her touch.

“Want to talk love?” He shook his head burying more into the fluffy nest and mewling in protest when she stopped her soothing touch long enough to dig the TV remote from the crumple of blankets. She smiled at his relieved sigh when her warm fingers returned.

Television was a disappointment with not a single program to capture her interest for longer than ten minutes at a time. She left it turned down low on some kind of period drama, the ebb and flow of gentle conversation making a soothing background to her drifting thoughts.  

Q had fallen asleep quickly and had soon rolled onto his back, squashing into her side until she adjusted so the rise of his shoulder sat neatly in the curve of her waist. From here she could watch his face as he slept, dark lashes fanned over purple bruise shadows. She had been neglecting him; he was getting far too little sleep. She stroked the unruly hair away from his brow, her tender touch bringing a small sigh and a muttered word that sounded very much like ‘Alec’.

Everything always came back to that man. Q’s dip in mood perhaps made more sense the longer she pondered it. For the last few months his focus had been entirely on his new job and then the new house, but now that things were more settled, quiet time seeped in, and with it too much thinking.  Todd had been a good distraction for a while but he wasn't right for Q.

She slid her hand beneath Q’s pillow and retrieved his phone from where he’d stashed it.  It still tickled her that his unlock code was her birthday.  She opened his call list and noted the sporadic pattern of calls to Trevelyan – always in the early hours, always short. Dismissing the thought she was doing the entirely wrong thing, she touched Trevelyan's number.

The call rang once before Trevelyan's rich warm voice answered. “Hello Q”

“Alec, it’s Eve.”

Instantly Trevelyan was alert, his tone becoming brisk with underlying anxiety. “Eve, is he ok? What's wrong?”

“He’s fine, calm down. Well, he’s not fine but-“

“Will you just tell me woman?” Trevelyan growled, concern getting the better of him.

“I think it's time you came to visit Alec. Stay for a couple of days. Drop in as a friendly face.”

“I’m not sure he wants me there Eve. We talk about it sometimes but he shies away from making plans for it to happen.” Trevelyan's voice sounded hollow.

“Just come. He needs to see you but he’ll think of ten different reasons why it's a bad idea if you try to plan. I’ll email you details tomorrow ok?”

Trevelyan huffed over the line, already worrying about the consequences, but desperate to see Q again. Late night chats where Q was normally drunk weren’t enough anymore. “I’ll come.”

“Good man. Thanks Alec, it’ll be good to see you.”

 


	40. Chapter 40

“Bloody hell, Jarred,” Q blurted out as he almost tripped over Jarred's boots thrown in the walkway between the sofa and the small table seating area that had become Q’s space to inhabit in the living room.  From there he could still see the television, but still scatter the books he was reading, a tablet and his cup of tea around while having a place to prop his leg up.

“I realize that it might be a little inconvenient that I use a cane and have a bad leg but I do happen to live here.”  He pushed them out of his way with his cane trying not to spill the cup of tea he was carrying at the same time.  Moneypenny glared at him and he simply smiled sweetly back at her.

“You don’t have to sit over us,” Moneypenny griped. “We don’t need a chaperone, and it's not like you’re even interested in the show, other than to make sarcastic comments.” She pointed the remote testily at the TV to rewind yet another part she’d missed while Q grumbled about boots. Jarred whispered something in her ear that made her flush and giggle in the fake-girlie way Q hated.

“Why don’t you go play in your office for a while? Or go sort out all the clutter you’ve had shipped over and piled in the den downstairs. You’re like a bloody teenager with all that crap.”  

Jarred pulled Moneypenny closer, nosing kisses into her hair, all the while smirking at Q over her head. “Leave him be Evie, some of us take longer to grow out of our toys than others.”

“Toys!” that was the final straw that pushed Q over the edge.  He pushed the table away a little so he could get up using it for leverage.  “Evie love, would you like to explain to Agent Wilson just what ‘toys’ the Quartermaster plays with and develops.”  He headed for the stairs to make his way to the second floor to where he was setting up his drafting table and workstation.

“And obviously Agent Wilson does not seem concerned at all about becoming a persona non grata or a persona nonexistent in the major regions of the world and the known universe.”  He added smiling at Moneypenny and Jarred as he reached the stairs.   “And I only babysit you when you need it and are acting like a tosser, Moneypenny” he snarled back down at her when he was halfway up the first flight of stairs.

“Touchy isn’t he?” Jarred laughed but Moneypenny was too busy watching Q painfully ascend the stairs away from her. Every conversation seemed to end in bickering whenever Jarred was over. She liked him well enough but the longer they were together the less inclined to tolerate him Q became.

"He’s just tired. I wish you wouldn't pick at him all the time; it makes him irritable.”

“It's only teasing Evie. And you take his side every time, always making excuses for him being a dick just because he’s a cripple.” He reached for her, trying to pull her into his lap.

“Don’t call him that again, Jarred, ever or we’re through, I promise you,” she said fiercely, moving out of his reach. “And don’t call me Evie, I don’t like it.”

"Really? Well I suppose he gets all kinds of special privileges doesn’t he?”

“Fuck you Jarred.” Her dark eyes flashed dangerously but he wasn’t clever enough to back down.

"I wish you would Eve. Not once since you moved in here. Is it any wonder I’m questioning why?”

“Fine. Upstairs. If it will shut you up and stop this stupid fight, I’m game.” She marched to the stairs, pausing halfway up. “Well are you coming or not?” He almost tripped over his own boots in his eagerness to follow her.

Q had gone to bed eventually still angered over arsehole Jarred, trying to ignore the sounds coming from Moneypenny’s room as he made his way to his own bedroom.  Sleep had been utterly hard to come by, the norm for the past few weeks, but he had finally dozed off in the early hours of the morning.   It wasn’t long that the nightmares started to surface.  Nightmares that had recently started to come back in full force.  He had been hiding them from Moneypenny,  being successful about 80% of the time.  She would badger him to go back into therapy and he just couldn’t face that right now.

At first the dreams started with random faces of people on the train which progressed on to their faces in death after the explosion had wreaked havoc on the train car. And in the middle of all of it echoed Alec’s voice from the last major fight that they had when he walked out.  The sights, sounds, smells of the burning train cars began to overwhelm him. Alec’s voice faded to the background but was still there.

Then the feel of his own blood which seemed to be everywhere, dripping into his eyes. Horrendous pain in his leg and arm.  Pinned not being able to move…. his legs tangled in his duvet which intensified the nightmare.   And knowing his blood was mingling with the blood of the girl he had just been speaking to who lay dead pressing against him was so real… hot, thick, sticky and the coppery wet metallic smell.  It was the nightmarish smell that caused the bile to rise in his throat, threatening to choke him.

It was the gagging that caused Q to throw himself awake, struggling to fight his way out of the duvet he was tangled in which caught on his leg brace.  He finally managed to make his way into the ensuite, knocking a lamp off the bedside table in the process, just in time to vomit violently. He sank to the floor next to the toilet as best he could anticipating the next round of vomiting.

“Q honey, are you alright?” Moneypenny tapped at the door, pushing it open cautiously. The lamp that Q normally insisted on leaving on all night lay toppled on the floor and the bed was empty, the covers a tangle of fabric at the foot of the bed.

“Shit,” she swore softly moving towards the retching man and sinking to the chilly floor behind him. “Q, I’m here love, it was just a bad dream, that's all. Over now.” She slipped her silk robe off her shoulders and draped it around his. Inadequate, but slightly warm from her body, it was the best she could offer without touching him which could send him into a full blown panic attack.

“Fuck… oh god…” was all that he could manage to get out before he vomited violently again.  “Fucking hell… M’fine Evie... Just…” he sank to the floor again shaking.   “I’ll be.  Just a minute.” he swallowed hard trying not to vomit again.  

“Can I touch you yet?” Always seek permission, that was one of the first lessons she’d learned when talking him down from the nightmares.  She waited patiently for his nod and when he finally gave it she limited it to a gentle slide of her hand down his arm over the top of her robe.  When she reached his hand she laced their fingers together letting him dictate what happened next but he showed no inclination to move. Eventually she softly said “Come on love, back to bed. You can’t stay on the floor.”

“No… no bed, Evie.  Nightmare.  It will just start all over again.” starting to slowly try to unfold himself from up off the floor.  Not being able to manage by himself, Q let her wrap an arm around his waist to steady him until he got his footing.  “Rest of the night is a lost cause,” he sighed wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

He slipped her robe off handing it back to her. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to... Thank you.” He slowly limped back into the bedroom his leg hurting from having thrown himself on the bathroom floor to be ill. It was now a real reminder again of what he was dreaming.

He began searching around the bedroom half dazed still for his shirt and pyjama pants to put on, “I’ll just go downstairs for now.  Make some tea.  Maybe sit outside in the back for a while,” needing to be out in the open air to calm himself.  “Promise I’ll be quiet.  Sorry, Evie.”

"Q, stop for a minute." She pressed the clothing he was looking for into his hands, smiling sadly when he stared at them like he'd forgotten their purpose. "Put them on love, then we'll make tea together." He still looked out of it until she laid her hand on his cheek and drew his head down so she could look into his eyes. "You don't have to cope with this alone Q, no matter what else changes."

"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" Jarred drawled from the doorway.

"Fuck," Moneypenny cursed under her breath, turning to her boyfriend with a forced smile. "Go back to bed please Jarred. I'll be there in a minute."

"You know most men would be pissed off to find their girlfriend wrapped around a naked man in the middle of the night, but you keep telling me it's not like that.  I can't say I'm terribly convinced Evie."

"Jarred, not tonight please? Q needs me-"

"And he always gets what he wants. The price of living under his roof I suppose." Jarred spat, walking away along the corridor back to her bedroom.  Moneypenny watched him go, a stricken look on her face.

“How dare you talk to her like that! Moneypenny is a goddess and you don’t deserve her!   And I don’t even like women you fucking bastard.” Q yelled after him.   “He is so going to regret this,” he continued struggling to pull his shirt on.

“Christ… I’m so sorry Evie.” Flopping down on the bed to struggle with his pants.  “I've tried not to…” his voice cracked as he was still struggling to shake off the nightmare.  

"I'll... I'll be back in a minute." She hurried from the room and the next sound was her bedroom door slamming shut and raised voices, before it crashed open once more and Jarred left in a storm of yelling. Moneypenny watched him go from the landing, shaking and obviously upset.

Q had just come to his bedroom door to head downstairs to make tea and regroup outside when Jarred went flying down the stairs.  He took one look at Moneypenny standing opposite from him at the other end of the long hallway and the look on her face told him everything.  She was ready to explode.  Hurt and angry, but not sure which one more.  And with Moneypenny, that was a deadly combination that not even a Double O would want to face.

“Fuck.. I am so sorry, Evie.”  The look she gave him made him want to cringe.  

"Just leave it Q" she snarled, marching past him to run upstairs to the uppermost level, weaving through the piles of tech and design kit that Q was halfway to organising into an office to reach the tiny balcony. "Bastard! Fucking wanker! You have no right Jarred, no fucking right..."

The cool air did nothing to take the heat out of her temper, but it soon set her body to shivering. She curled up on one of the garden chairs, hugging her knees, and glared angrily into the night.

 


	41. Chapter 41

Forty-five minutes later, Q stood in the balcony doorway, cane in one hand reusable grocery tote in the other along with a duvet that he was dragging behind him.  “Peace offering,” he held out the bag to her.  “Two cups, thermos of tea and bottle of whisky if you would rather have.”

“Sorry Evie.  Didn't mean to cause issue with you and your Agent.” He added quietly but didn’t move from the doorway avoiding invading her angry space.

"It's fine," she said bitterly appearing very interested in something in the far distance no one else could see. "Not your fault he's an insecure twat. I shouldn't have told him about the house; I couldn't expect him to understand."

She picked at a loose thread on her pyjama top. "I'm sorry he was awful to you. It won't happen again." She waved at the other chair. "Sit, for god's sake. You're making the place look untidy loitering there."

Q draped the duvet over her and took the other seat.  He pulled two cups out of the bag and the bottle of whisky pouring himself a full cup.  He also pulled out a pack, ashtray and matches that he obviously had been hiding from her.  They sat in silence for a long time stared out into the darkness as Q smoked one and then another and finished off his cup of whisky.  

"Moneypenny, I am truly sorry that I have made things awkward for you and Jarred," he commented breaking the silence as he poured himself another drink.

"It wasn't all your fault..." Moneypenny started but was quickly interrupted by him.

"Please Moneypenny.  Let me talk.  Say the words I need to say please."  She glanced over at him to see him staring with a dark look in his face.  Moneypenny nodded and let him talk.

"I am sorry I have been a bastard about Jarred.  He annoys me immensely. He treats you like... Like a female, Evie.  Not a woman. And you are by far a much better Agent than he will ever be.  Too bad he can't see that because he is about half as intelligent as you. His ego would never let him see that.  But enough about him.  This isn't about him.  Besides I am not much better. I am a bloody bastard to you too." he sighed lighting another, playing with it on his long slender fingers.

"A lot of this situation is my fault. I tried to contain the nightmares.  Sometimes I can. Other times they are so intense they just overtake me and I can't.  Tonight it just wouldn't stay away.  Too much blood. Too many voices." he muttered with a slight shudder as the nightmare floated through his head again.

"Evie, you know I love you. You have given me so much over the last year.  More than I could have ever expected from anyone at all.  I know you've done everything you could to help me. I've asked and expected too much from you."  He paused for a moment taking a long drag and watching the smoke drift off into the cool night air.  

"I want you to take some time to think about what I am going to say to you in a few moments.  Tonight, a couple days... Just some time.  And then tell me what you need."

"I think I have pushed you into a situation that may not have been what you wanted.  I know that Mallory asked you to babysit me."

"How did..."

"No interruptions Moneypenny." he held a hand up to stop her. "Quartermaster, Moneypenny.  Can't keep much from me. I know you would have been there for me anyway, Evie."

He sighed deeply looking hard at her, "Do you want to go home, Moneypenny?  You can if you want.  Go back in the field.  I can make it happen. I can work it out with M. You can have the London flat... The building to live in or sell it and find something else.  I'll give it to you."  

"If you want to stay here in the house, I can move to the lower level.  It's all self-contained. You'd never see me, never know I was here at all.  Or you can have the entire house all to yourself. Just say the word and it's yours."

Q quietly poured himself another drink in silence.  "I've done a lot of thinking over the past weeks, Evie.  Things don't seem to be getting better. They should be better by now. The nightmares, the moods, the thoughts that seem to always churn in my head with no resolution. I don't seem to do people well anymore either. What little empathy I had for people seems to have disappeared. Too much time in MI6 will do that to a person, I suppose" he snorted.  "But it's making things bad for you also."  He slowly pulled himself up to stand at the balcony railing his back to her.  As much time as they spent together day in and day out, there were still times that she was shocked as too how thin he had gotten.  The toll everything had taken on him. Smoke filtered up around his dark hair barely visible through the lights of the city around them.

"I'm thinking of telling the Americans that working for them wasn't a good fit." He spoke to the darkness.  "Maybe it's time to move on to elsewhere.  Completely."

He turned around to face her picking up his cup, finishing it on one go.  "Evie, let me know what you want please. What will make you happy.  I'll make it happen. For everything that you have done for me, I need to know that you are happy."

Picking up his cane he gave her shoulder a soft squeeze as he passed by her and headed inside. "Goodnight Evie.  I'm sorry."   

Q slowly made his way down the staircase and to the lower level of the house. Grabbing a throw blanket off the sofa, he glanced at his mobile briefly and then headed out into the garden to sit in the darkness.  The walls inside the house were even a little to containing for him at the moment.  The faint sounds of the city waking were starting.

Moneypenny remained huddled under the duvet on the balcony until dawn unaware of the city coming to life below her.  At some point she had poured tea, or perhaps Q had done it for her before he left.  Either way it sat stone cold and untouched on the floor by her feet.   She felt numb, inside and out.  Q’s words filtered through her head only half understood because all she could focus on was one thing – Q, offering her a chance to distance herself from him.

Stupid man.  Stupid, ignorant, arrogant little git.  She loved him so bloody much, but he could be incredibly dense at times.  A life of any sort without him woven through it was unimaginable, horrifying even. She’d almost lost him once… She rubbed at her eyes, surprised when her hands came away wet.  She didn’t cry over him.  Not for a bloody long time anyway.  The unexpected tears sparked her anger all over again and she shoved the duvet away, moving through the house with purpose, but when she reached the first floor landing Q’s bedroom door was open and he wasn't there.  

Defeated, and suddenly exhausted, she returned to her own room and crawled into bed. He had asked her to think, but everything he said danced through her head taunting her.  He wanted to make her happy, firmly believed that it was his power to do so, but not in the way he imagined.  All the houses in the world wouldn't make her happy if he wasn't in her life and moving towards health and happiness.  For the first time in months she felt she was failing him, instead of helping him achieve what he needed to get better.

Foolishly she checked her phone, hoping for an apology from Jarred, but all she found was a text from Trevelyan with a flight number and time.  Trevelyan was coming.  Trevelyan would help.  Finally, in the privacy of her bed, she allowed herself to fall apart.

She awoke mid-afternoon with the deep sense of calm only an outpouring of raw emotion could ultimately achieve.  Her anger had dissipated along with the tears leaving sadness behind, but a determination to resolve things one way or another.  She pulled on her robe and headed for the kitchen, noting that Q had at some point returned to his bedroom and left again.  She wondered if he had gone to work, but on reaching the bottom of the stairs she saw him slouched on the sofa reading a book.  Neither spoke as she passed through the room.

A short while later she returned with two steaming mugs, handing him one and settling at his feet, leaning heavily against his good leg and resting her head on his knee.

“Evie-?”

“Drink your tea Q.  I’m not ready to talk; I just need to be quiet with you so I can think.”  He stayed silent but after a moment he placed a tentative hand on her head and returned to his reading.  Half an hour later she left with her cold tea, having not uttered a word.

  
  


 


	42. Chapter 42

Late at night Q was lured to the kitchen by the smell of frying bacon.  Moneypenny was dressed, war paint on, creating a wreckage of the kitchen by the simple act of making bacon sandwiches.  He noted two plates, so hoisted himself stiffly onto one of the chairs opposite the hob and watched her cook.

“I don’t want to go home Q,” she said, flipping the bacon aggressively, “Nor do I wish to live in this huge house by myself.”  She looked around the kitchen and sighed.  “All this… I know you meant well…  Look Q, you need to understand something.  Everything I’ve done for you was my choice.  Not M’s instructions, or Alec’s request, and not even because you asked it of me.  I wanted to do it and I did it for me as much as for you.  When I thought you were going to die…  Shit!”  She shoved the bacon around the pan with such force half of it flopped out.  She rescued it, dumping it into her sandwich and putting the rest from the pan into Q’s.

“I’m not explaining very well… Everything I have and everything I’ve achieved in life, I’ve had to work bloody hard for, but at the end of the day I know that I got it through my own efforts and on my own merit.  I deserved it and it proved that I was as good as anyone.  You handing me a home as payment for looking after you… I honestly didn’t know whether to be flattered that you thought me worth more than two million or insulted that you thought my time needed to be bought.  Even if you thought I needed compensation for putting up with all of your shite, you could’ve played it better.”  

Q  had stilled with his sandwich halfway to his mouth, but Moneypenny didn’t give him the option to comment.  “I was angry at you and made the mistake of sounding off to Jarred about it and he’s adopted that as a way of needling you for his own insecurities.  For that, I’m truly sorry, and I will handle that issue.”

“As for you moving on again…  You ran away from London, and now you’re going to run from D.C. too?  When will you stop running Q?  Because no matter how far you go, this demon is always going to be following you until you stop and face it.  I will follow you to Hell itself without you even asking, but I think at the minute I’m your excuse not to tackle your fears and I’m holding you back.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”  Both sandwiches had been pushed away untouched.

“I’m your safety net Q.  I won’t leave you like Alec did and I won’t hurt you like he did.  I can’t, because, joking aside, we aren’t compatible in a fairly significant area that matters.  Sometimes I think life would be simpler if we were, but then we’d find another reason to not be together I’m sure.  I love you very much Q, and I will be whoever and whatever you want me to be, but I’m not his replacement and until you sort out the residual feelings between you, no one else can hope to be that either and nowhere will ever be comfortable enough to call home.”

She rounded the unit and dropped a scrap of paper onto the counter, reaching up to kiss his cheek.  “He arrives tomorrow on that flight.  You said you’d do anything to make me happy Q.  The only thing you can do is give yourself a chance of the same.”


	43. Chapter 43

Q slowly made his way down the staircase. Showered, an attempt at taming his hair had gone off kilter and he had just given up.  Black boots, black trousers and green button down was as presentable as he was going to manage today.  Moneypenny stood leaning against the railing waiting for him.  “You are really going to make me go, aren’t you, Moneypenny.  To the bloody airport, with all those people.  I so do not like you today at all, Evie.” As he reached the bottom of the staircase, tugging at his shirt and running a hand through his hair which made it even more of a disaster.

Moneypenny smirked at him, stepping up to slap his hands away from his head so she could make her own attempt at rearranging his hair. She managed to get it under some semblance of control by smoothing her hands through it, but as soon as she stepped back he jammed his fingers through it once more turning it into a wild shaggy mess.

"Fine, I give up. Look like a scruffy urchin if you must, you're still going." She looked him up and down critically. "New shirt, or not one I've seen before. Looks perfect on you." She grinned at his scowl. "Yes love, you'll do. I guarantee he won't notice what you're wearing unless he's checking to see how quickly he can get you out of it."

“That is not going to happen, Evie.  I am not jumping back into bed with bloody fucking Alec Trevelyan the first hour he is here.” He snarled at her.  “Maybe I won’t need to worry about it though, because we probably are not going to survive the drive to the airport.”

“Can’t I just stay here and wait for you, Moneypenny?  I could just... you know.” he waved a hand at the sofa and the television.  I think I have a project that needs my immediate attention.  Surely somewhere I do.”  He glanced over at her realising this was not an argument he was going to win today.  “Alright.  I’ll go get in the car.” sighing dejectedly like a well-practiced toddler.

Moneypenny brushed imaginary lint from his shoulder and hugged him. "I'm teasing you love, sorry. You've been on edge since breakfast, prettying yourself in that bathroom like a girl on her first date. I know that there's a lot for you two to sort out before..." Seeing him start to pout she changed tack. "Well whatever love, you look gorgeous. Proud to be seen with you in public even with the insane hair."

Once in the car she turned to him looking serious. "You know there isn't any urgency to resolve anything this visit don't you? This is Alec coming to visit us as a friend to see how we're settling in. He's offered to stay in a hotel if you're too uncomfortable having him in our home. Maybe think about that on the drive so we don't have an awkward conversation at the airport?"

Q stared out the passenger side car window in silence for most of the ride to the airport, which Moneypenny knew he had to be deeply lost in thought because he had not made one rude comment about her driving.   “We have four bedrooms, Evie.” he blurted out of nowhere.  And one of them is on the lower level which is a space of its own.” He was increasingly fiddling with his shirt and leg brace more and more the closer they got to the airport which was within sight now.

“He should just stay at the house.  No sense in bothering with a hotel. If Alec and I can’t manage to be in close proximity for any length of time, then there is no hope of us even being on speaking terms in the future.”  Q leaned over peering up at the flights going in and out above them.  “Going to be a long slow walk through the airport to his terminal, Evie.  Maybe we can find a café along to way to fortify with some caffeine.”

"Don't think you can drag your heels love. Alec will arrive whether you're there or not and he'll be upset if you aren't there to meet him. We have plenty of time and if we start running short we'll skip coffee altogether."

"Have you thought what you want to do about work while he's here? You should take some proper time off. And don't say you can't."

Moneypenny insisted on choosing where to wait and it had nothing to do with the huge bottles of spirits in the window. "Everyone finds this place" she explained, "but if you want to sulk outside, you're welcome. Call me when you're done saying hello." She walked off to be swallowed up by the crowds of people.

“Don’t you dare leave me, Evie,” he called after her but she has already disappeared into the crowds.  “Damn you…” Q sighed.  He glanced at his mobile checking the time.  There was another 15 minutes before Trevelyan's flight was to set down, so he found a spot close by to sit and relieve some of the strain off his leg. It wouldn’t take long for Trevelyan to get through security with his SIS Identification and before long he would be there.  There were so many things that he wanted to say to him and yet he knew he couldn’t go through Trevelyan walking away again.  He was utterly conflicted.  Pulling out his mobile he sent off a quick text to Moneypenny.  “You planned this Moneypenny.  I am so getting even with you.”

His phone pinged back a moment later. "Just couldn't bear to witness the awkward will they/won't they hug. You should definitely hug."

She hadn't actually moved so far away reluctant to trust in the two idiots to not completely screw it up within the first ten minutes. She'd put Q through a lot in the last 48 hours and she was concerned he was already at tipping point. A lot was riding on Trevelyan not being a total dick. There were only so many text lectures a girl could give a headstrong Double O agent before he stopped acknowledging her texts.

She fired off another text. "For fucks sake smile." Helpful advice was never wasteful.

 


	44. Chapter 44

Q sat and watched the arrivals and departs in the monitors. It wasn't long before he saw Trevelyan's flight arrive which instantaneously panicked him.  "Fuck..." he murmured to himself.  "I don't know if I can do this."  He stayed seated waiting. Frozen to the spot if the truth be known, heart thumping loudly in his chest.

He had no idea how long he sat there before suddenly coming through the doorway was Alec Trevelyan.  Q slowly pulled himself up from his chair and waited for Trevelyan to see him. When he did, Trevelyan purposefully strode over to stand directly in front of the younger man pulling him into a tight hug.

Q buried his face in Trevelyan's chest. "Alec.. I'm so glad you came." he whispered.

"Hey. I said I would" Trevelyan murmured into his hair. "Good to see you Q." He pulled back a fraction, still half hugging the alarmingly skinny man. "Do I still call you Q now you aren't my Quartermaster?"

Now that his arms were finally around Q Trevelyan was having a hard time persuading them to let him go, but he didn't want to rush things.  Sliding one arm around Q's waist he shouldered his bag. "So did you drive yourself or is the lovely Moneypenny around here somewhere?"

"I can't drive Alec," Q rolled his eyes at him giving him the 'I can't believe you just said that look at me' look.  He shifted his weight off his bad leg leaning more on his cane but didn't make any attempt to move away from Trevelyan's arm around his waist.

"She's hiding around somewhere. God knows what she's bought in the shops." he smirked.  "You know Evie."

"Are you doing okay, Alec? Medical let you escape?"

"Can't keep a good man down Q, and you certainly can't keep a Double O contained," Trevelyan laughed. "still on the painkillers and physio. But I promised to be good and keep up the regime while I'm here.  I thought you might have acquired one of those whizzy adapted automatics but I suppose if I had a chauffeur as pretty as Eve I'd not bother either."

Moneypenny decided the laughter was a good sign and appeared around the corner as if by magic carrying several large shopping bags. "Hello Alec" she kissed his cheek, with one hand firmly on his chest so he wouldn't move away from Q. "How are the battle scars? I must have a talk with James about the correct way to look after you." 

"Christ Alec. Don't let her talk to Bond or give her any idea that she needs to supervise your therapy. She's a hard task master.  No mercy at all," Q gave her a peck on the cheek.  "Did you leave anything in the shoppes at all, Evie?"

"We should head before she finds something else she can't possibly live without." He teased her with a small smile.  "Sorry the walkout is going to be a slow one, Alec.  We'll eventually get to the car. Moneypenny will chauffeur then."

The ride back to the house was companionable, Trevelyan and Moneypenny chatting nineteen to the dozen and Q chipping in here and there. When they arrived home Trevelyan hopped out of the car and looked up at the building. "Wow, is that all yours? Impressive. Certainly different to the London flat." 

"Evie can give you the grand tour while I rest my leg. If you had to wait for me to get up all the stairs it would take a week. Coffee first?" 

Trevelyan leaned against the counter content to watch Q move stiffly around the kitchen preparing refreshments. He noted how the green shirt hung on his bony shoulders and the cuffs gaped at his wrists.  Moneypenny had disappeared upstairs to put away her purchases but both men knew it was a flimsy excuse to leave them alone.   

"You're watching me" Q commented mildly without turning around. "I won't fall down or break if you stop, you know?" 

Trevelyan chuckled. "I know that, I'm just thinking that Evie must be in charge of catering around here. You're starving to death."

Q handed him a mug and leaned beside him, shoulders touching, cradling his tea. "She's brilliant. Looks after me well. Can't cook at all, but she does everything else so I can't complain. She's almost perfect." Trevelyan waggled an eyebrow and Q blushed. "Not like that, you idiot."  He sighed and bumped the older man's shoulder gently. "It is good to see you Alec. I've missed you."

“How about this, since Moneypenny doesn’t seem to be able to handle the kitchen, I cook for you while I’m here.  Try to put a little meat back on your skinny bones.” Trevelyan began although actually wanting to ask Q how he was doing truthfully but was afraid to push things yet. 

“Let you burn my new house down already.  I don’t think so Alec.  I’m not that bloody crazy… yet,” Q smiled. 

“I haven’t set fire to a kitchen in a long time.  Ask Bond.”

“He’d just lie for you and you know It.” he laughed at Trevelyan.  It was nice to just have simple conversation between the two of them again.

“I swear on Mansfield’s grave.  I won’t even scorch a pan. Well on second thought maybe that is not such a good idea.  We’d probably be able to hear the old bitch laughing clear from hell if I did set the kitchen on fire.” Trevelyan chuckled.

Moneypenny could be heard coming back down the stairs and appeared at the kitchen entry.  “Q love, just thought you would like to know I found your hidden stash of the ashtray and things.” She smiled sweetly at him waving the pack before throwing it into the bin.

“Speaking of bitches…” Q muttered under his breath so only he and Trevelyan could hear. “Thank you Evie.  I love you too.”

“Go on Alec,” he gave a nod in Moneypenny’s direction.  “Take the house tour with the Queen and let her show off her kingdom. The tea and I are going to take up residence on the sofa for a while.’

Trevelyan followed Moneypenny up the stairs to the first floor but waited until they had peeked into her room, which was excessively neat, and were standing just inside Q’s room before he asked “How is he really?  He seems ok.”

Moneypenny  sighed and walked to Q’s bathroom so she could show Trevelyan the adaptations and where Q kept his various medications should he ever need to find them.  “He’s had a rough few days.  Was talking of taking off somewhere else permanently, but I think I’ve talked him round for now.  Today is the brightest I’ve seen him in weeks although he was almost sick with nerves this morning.”  She smiled.  “It means a great deal to him to have you here, but don’t be surprised if he’s not inclined to talk.  Don’t push it Alec; things may not be fixed this visit.”

“I’ve learned my lesson Eve.  Everything at his pace from now on, no forcing the issue. “  He followed her up the next flight to where Q had started to set up his workplace.  There was another bedroom just off it that looked unused.  “Do you know he calls me?  We don’t say much of consequence, unless he’s drunk when he gets a bit maudlin, but I listen to him ramble for a while and its nice just to hear his voice.”

“I know, but he doesn’t know I know,” she giggled.  “I don’t snoop, but sometimes I hear his one sided conversations.”

Trevelyan actually blushed and coughed. “Whatever you’ve heard, it’s usually one-sided and I don’t encourage it.  Much.” He grinned at her and they headed back down to the living room.  Q was flopped on the sofa watching TV and waved a lazy hand as they passed through on their way to the basement rooms.

“We’ve put you down here, hope you don’t mind?  The bedroom is nice, if you don’t mind tripping over the odd box of tricks that Q can’t fit into the den at the front.  He is apparently sorting it out, but you know him… opens a box, gets distracted…  You have your own bathroom and kitchen with the essentials but we’d be happy if you’d join us upstairs most of the time.”

“It’s great Eve.”  He pulled her into a tight hug.  “Thanks for getting  me out here.  I’ve been trying to find an excuse ever since I was passed fit to fly.  Shall we go rejoin his lordship upstairs?  I can unpack in a while.”

Trevelyan and Moneypenny returned from their guided house tour to find Q puttering around in the kitchen.  “When did you actually do grocery shopping, Evie?  We actually might pass for responsible adults with food in the refrigerator.”

“I thought you were going to rest, love?” Moneypenny coaxed him away from the refrigerator to sit at the kitchen island in a chair.

“Alec said he would cook.  Might want to find the fire extinguisher.”

“Hey… I thought we discussed this.  I won’t burn down the kitchen,” Trevelyan smiled at him truly enjoying to get to spend some time with Q again.

“It’s alright Alec.  Evie burns things all the time, don’t you love.  And I don’t complain… much.”  

Trevelyan set Moneypenny to chopping onions and peppers while he searched around for a suitable pan. Before long Q was pushing the onions around the pan and watching Trevelyan attack chicken breasts with scissors. "Quicker than trying to saw through raw flesh with a knife" he grinned.

"Is that what you learn in the field?" Q snorted, but he watched with interest as the chicken became a pile of thick strips. Trevelyan tossed them into the pan and ordered him to keep it moving while he grabbed a can of tomatoes and set water to boil for fresh pasta.

He put Moneypenny in charge of the pasta because even she couldn't fail at that, while he tested and seasoned the chicken mixture. They chatted easily as they cooked and before long they had a reasonable meal.

"Where are we eating?" Trevelyan dished up and Moneypenny found a bottle of wine lurking at the bottom of the wine rack.

"Might be crap, it was a gift."

“You do know that we actually have a table in the other room to sit at and have dinner like proper adults.  We don’t have to eat in the kitchen like children,” Q smirked.  “But don’t piss Evie off or we will be banished to eating in the kitchen because she tends to throw food when she gets all huffy.”  It was comfortable and nice, the first time in a long time that he had actually relaxed.  “I get the bench,” he called heading for the dining table with Moneypenny’s found bottle of wine letting the other two bring the plates and glasses.


	45. Chapter 45

Dinner had gone well with small talk of things going on back at MI6, Bond’s latest escapades and how Mallory was still fuming over their disappearance.  Towards the end of dinner, Moneypenny’s mobile rang. “Agent Hottie,” Q questioned her with a smirk.  Moneypenny pointed a threatening finger at him and excused herself to the kitchen to take the call.

“What’s that all about?” Trevelyan questioned leaning back in his chair watching Moneypenny going to hide in the kitchen.

“I assume its Jarred… Mr. 'I think I am impressive' CIA agent.  Fucking Arse. ” Q commented to Trevelyan.  “Evie’s latest ‘love of her life’.   He’s a bloody fucking wanker.  She is a better agent than he is any day.   I can’t quite decide if Evie is bedding him just to pass the time and for some attention or what. But, I can tell you that he is only interested in some of the more physical fascinating parts of Moneypenny and not for her wit and intelligence.  I am sure he brags about how he has the new British import wrapped around his little finger.” Q sighed taking another drink of his wine.  

“He has no idea what he is dealing with. I want to ruin him, persona non grata in every country in the known universe. But until she says he is fair game, I don’t dare. I hope he enjoys prison.” Q had that evil maniac look in his eyes that would even scare the Double Os who knew better than to bring the wrath of the Quartermaster down on them.  

"Christ Q, what did he do?" Trevelyan regarded Q's full-on Quartermaster expression warily. He'd seen it turned on himself once or twice and it was enough to make him reconsider whatever actions he'd taken to put it there. "You've always been protective of Eve, and you tend to hate her boyfriends on principle, but this one has really got under your skin."

He didn't get an answer because Moneypenny returned at that moment smiling cautiously at Q. "Jarred asked me to apologise on his behalf for any offence caused by his comments." She ignored his derisive snort and continued in a rush. "We're going to dinner tomorrow. Why don't you two join us? I'm sure Jarred would love it, and he can meet Alec. I didn't mention it to him, but it would be good."

Trevelyan glanced at Q whose face said good would be stretching the truth of it, but Moneypenny was looking hopeful and if the guy had pissed off Q so effectively he sounded like someone Trevelyan should acquaint himself with. If only to stop the crazy man doing something unwise that would upset the girl he was trying to protect.  "Sure Eve, I'd love to meet this new man and make sure he's worthy of you."

"It sounds like a lovely time Moneypenny. And if he happens to come back with you for the remainder of the night, I'll try to be a little quieter this time if I happen to have a problem." he snarked at her picking up his glass of wine and heading to the sofa.

"I wouldn't want to disturb Jarred's beauty sleep or have him see you in what he deems a compromising position."  Q sighed and reined in his temper. "I apologize, Evie.  We'll go if it's alright with Alec and I will try to be on my best behavior also."

It was a rare occurrence for Q and Moneypenny to be so obviously at odds an it was starting to feel uncomfortable.  Q had slouched on the sofa and Moneypenny was still hovering by the table having not retaken her seat. Trevelyan looked up at her and quietly asked "you ok?"

She smiled tightly and nodded, bending down to wrap her arms tightly around him in a surprising hug. "Just tired, both of us.  Think I'll go up, if that's ok?" He nodded and she walked briskly to the stairs firing a brief goodnight in Q's direction.

Trevelyan cleared up, finding the dishwasher and putting leftovers into the fridge, then joined Q on the sofa. "Are you free tomorrow or working? Might be an idea to show me around the neighbourhood so I don't get lost."  He took Q's damaged arm absently and began a light massage over the scarring, fingertips playing over the ridges and dips like he was playing an instrument. "Does this still hurt?"

"Not near as bad as the leg, but occasionally it does when I overdo it.  The worst part is when my fingers get numb from the nerve damage.  Don't tell Moneypenny.  She doesn't know that.  She'd just fuss." he smiled at Trevelyan.

"I took a couple of days off work."  he hesitated for a moment. "I thought we could use the time together."

"You look done in, Q.  Not sleeping well?" Trevelyan continued to stroke the scarring on the inner side of his arm.

"Christ Alec.  I completely forgot the time zone change. You must be exhausted."  

"Hate to admit it but I am.  Still recovering some too. Suppose we should call it a night, huh?  Can you make it upstairs alright, Q?  Been a long day for you too."  Trevelyan stood holding out a hand and helped Q up from the sofa.

"I'll be fine Alec. Takes me a little while but I can make it."  He continued to hold onto Trevelyan's hand.  "I am glad you came Alec."

"I am too. Goodnight Q."  Giving him a light kiss Trevelyan headed to the lower level for the night.


	46. Chapter 46

Trevelyan elbowed his way into Q’s bedroom carrying a tray laden with breakfast for two. Moneypenny was gone to work so there was no one to help him, but no one to nag at him either. Breakfast could hardly be considered to be the wrong thing. Q stirred at the rattle of tea cups and the dip of the mattress as another body carefully insinuated itself under the duvet next to him without soaking them both in hot beverages.

“Morning sleepyhead. Since when did you ever sleep after nine?” Alec watched Q stretch and tried not to think of lazy Sunday mornings long gone where Q lengthening his body in such a seductive manner would have led to several rounds of unhurried sex. “I brought Nutella slathered crumpets.”  He said instead, chocolate covered bread being a far safer topic.

“I need to piss first” Q grinned, feeling on the side table for his glasses and swinging his legs free of the duvet.

“A simple ‘good morning Alec, you are a god’ would do” the blond huffed, stirring sugar into his coffee and checking out Q’s naked arse as he limped to the bathroom.

"You are indeed a presumptuous God, sneaking into my bed uninvited” Q called back, “but you brought treats that Evie doesn't allow into the bedroom which would send her insane worrying about stains on the sheets. You may stay for the duration of feeding time, then you can piss off downstairs for a shower. I need some help today.”

"Christ Alec. Evie is going to have an apoplexy when she sees the Nutella I've managed to get on the sheets. She is such a tyrant. But it was so good" he laughed.  "Alright  feeding time is over. Off you go.  Shower."  He waved his hands shooing Trevelyan off his bed.  "There should be everything you need down there just hunt."

"Alright... alright.  Such a taskmaster, Q. Bring you such an extravagant breakfast that I slaved over and now you are shooing me off."  Trevelyan gathered up the cups and the tray to return to the kitchen.

"Shower Alec.  And then I have plans for you." Trevelyan raised an eyebrow at him with a quizzical look. "Not that way Alec." Q smiled and shook his head.  "I need your muscles today.  Christ that didn't sound right either," Q laughed.  "Just shower and come back."

"Whatever you say, quartermaster." Trevelyan chuckled.  

Trevelyan showered and dressed for the day and headed back upstairs to find Q.  He knocked on his still open bedroom door to find Q sitting on his bed, hair damp with just his trousers on, struggling to get the straps his leg brace fastened.

“Need some help?” Trevelyan asked, picking up Q’s wet towel from the floor and returning it to the bathroom.

“I've got it,” Q snapped, cursing under his breath at the last stubborn strap that always seemed to give him trouble when he was in a hurry. He had hoped to be fully dressed and the picture of having life completely under control by the time Trevelyan returned. The strap finally held and Q looked at Trevelyan warily. “Sorry.”

“No problem. I know the bloody sling on my arm was a nightmare for the two weeks I could stand to wear it. Must be a pain in the arse to have to keep strapping that on and off.” Trevelyan grinned at him as he tugged the duvet back into position. “Shift your skinny rear then. Can’t make the bed with you still on it.”

Q was pleased to notice that Trevelyan hadn't made a big deal of his struggles and wasn't rushing to help him every two minutes.  Moneypenny was the only one who normally allowed him to get on with things at his own pace without feeling she had to step in. Until he started yelling. Then he’d berate her for being insensitive to his needs and she would give him the look that said he was a spoilt child having a tantrum and he could quit right now. He wondered if Trevelyan would stick around long enough to develop his own version of 'the look'.

“So, why do you need my fine physique?” Trevelyan was asking. “I’m still not to full strength in my arm but I can lift and carry.”

“Great” Q found his t-shirt and limped from the room still dressing. “I have a few boxes I need you to help me move upstairs.”

“What the hell do you have in here Q?” Trevelyan  asked as he struggled up the stairs to the top level with the fifth box. “Christ, I need a drink and a rest.”  He sank into Q’s office chair and watched the younger man slice open the sealing tape with a knife.

“Mainly just bits and pieces of projects I was working on back in London. I asked R to pack a few things up and send them on. Oh…” He chuckled, selecting an item Trevelyan couldn't yet see.  “Did I ever tell you I once offered to build his and hers fuckbots to mine and Evie’s exact specifications?”

“No, I think I’d remember that conversation.” Trevelyan smirked, then “bloody hell, is that what's in there?”

“Not quite, but I forgot at the time I borrowed this.” He held up a ten-inch purple vibrator that now had a sticker wrapped around it and writing in R’s neat hand saying ‘please don’t ever send me an explanation’.

“Oh my god, is that Eve’s?”

“I was going to see if I could enhance it in some way as a joke” Q laughed.

“You scare me Q. Didn't she miss it?”

“Never asked me about it.” He tossed it to Trevelyan, who caught it and then immediately looked like he wished he hadn't. Q grinned. “It's clean you idiot.”

“Like that makes it alright that I’m holding…? Jesus, you two are weird sometimes.” He weighed it in his hand. “Still you’d want more from a fuckbot than that. What about a mechanical mouth with variable suction? And you wouldn’t want to suck on this. If you’re going to make your jaw ache you want a bit of reaction.”

Q had collapsed on the floor, legs outstretched as he tried to control his giggling. “I could work on a cum-delivery system if you like? Reloadable. In assorted flavours.”

Trevelyan was doubled over in Q’s chair, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Reloads of fruit jizz. Oh my god Q, I knew there were reasons I missed you.”

“Well at least the offer to build her a man sized sex toy calmed the savage beast in the middle of an argument.” Q laughed.  “And of course I would give it a much more agreeable personality that Mr. Wannabe Agent.”

“Seriously Q, what is going on that you dislike Moneypenny’s man so much?”

“Besides being a complete cock?” Trevelyan could see how mentioning him quickly flared the anger in Q.  “Alright.   He all but came right out and said that I bought this house to buy off Evie.   And… well… one night when he stayed all night with Evie, I had an horrendous nightmare.   Woke them up.  Of course, Evie came to check on me.  It was a bad one.  Vomiting in the bathroom.  She had to help me back to bed.” by now Q was gesturing wildly with his hands waving them around as he spoke.  

“So then, here comes Jarred and since I happen to sleep naked, he made some rude comments about things between her and myself.  Which is utterly ridiculous.  Fucking bastard.  Upset Evie.“

“Alright, I admit that it might look a little strange to outsiders who don’t understand Evie and me, but seriously.”  He looked up at Trevelyan still sitting in his chair and started giggling again.  “I don’t understand why Jarred would be jealous of my naked skinny arse in Evie's arms.  He should be more jealous of that.” Pointing at the 10 inch purple vibrator that Trevelyan had forgotten he was still holding.

Q grinned wickedly. “You know I think Evie might appreciate it being returned.”

"Oh no, whatever you’re thinking… If it puts my nuts in jeopardy with that woman I want no part of it” seeing Q’s pout he groaned. “Tell me then, so I can decide which country I need to get your sorry arse to in a hurry.”

“The perfect place for one’s vibrator has to be under the pillow, preferably on the side one’s wanker lover sleeps,” Q chuckled. “With any luck he’ll put his hand on it before he puts his hands on her. Bastard. Oh to be a fly on the wall…”

“She will break you, you realise that?”

“No she won’t. I have you to save me now.” Q smiled sweetly from flat on the floor.  Trevelyan tossed the toy back at him, dissolving once more when it landed on Q’s stomach and began to buzz. 

“Serves you right, you evil little shit.”

  
  



	47. Chapter 47

"You realise this evening is going to be hell don't you?" Q grumbled as Trevelyan helped him from the cab.  He ran a finger around the collar of his shirt and muttered about hating wearing new clothes. Trevelyan smiled benignly and retrieved Q's cane from the floor, and handed it to him. His arm still circled Q's waist for a fraction longer than it took for Q to establish his balance.

"Be nice. For Eve if nothing else.  He sounds like a monumental prat but she likes him and we should trust her judgment."

"Why should we? She's been wrong about every man ever so far in her life." Q pouted.

"Maybe keep that thought to yourself tonight unless you wish to attract the wrath of the woman. We all know that no man can measure up to you, no need to rub it in." Trevelyan grinned and kissed his cheek.  "Come on. Grin and bear it for the lovely lady."

Moneypenny and Jarred were already seated. Q greeted Moneypenny with a kiss and Jarred with a grimace, circling around the table to put Trevelyan between himself and the other man

"Hello beautiful, you scrub up well? Who's your friend?" Trevelyan teased, placing a smacker of a kiss on her cheek. Q smirked at Jarred's irritated expression from across the table.  "Alec Trevelyan, a good friend of Evie's." He offered Jarred his hand which the dark haired man shook firmly

"Jarred Wilson, Evie's boyfriend.  She only mentioned you were in town today."

Trevelyan turned on his Cheshire Cat grin.  "Evie's so good to put me up at short notice.  Always very accommodating for her friends. Aren't you love?"

"Behave Alec or I'll kick you. I'm wearing spike heels." Moneypenny smiled with an edge of warning.  "Alec and I used to work together. In fact all three of us did."

“So you all three worked together for the SIS?  Same areas?” Jarred quizzed trying to gather information and sizing Trevelyan up at the same time.

“Well, you might say that you and I worked in similar areas, Jarred.  At least in some ways.” Trevelyan started to slip into the Double O mode assessing his mark.  It was all Q to could do to keep from giggling at the scene that was starting to already play out at the dinner table.

“So what brings to you D.C., Alec?  Dropping in to check on Eve?”  

"Making sure she and Q are settling in well. The house is impressive.  Always hoping I can tempt them back home but I think they've fallen in love with the place and the work. You look great on it Evie; heading up a team suits you. So proud of you love. You must be very proud of her too, Jarred? Poached from us and promoted on merit within weeks. We clearly undervalue talent, I've always thought so."

Moneypenny smiled at him. "Thanks Alec, I love what I'm doing now." She squeezed his fingers. "Far better that M's filing or listening to office ranting, but some things I miss.  No one wanders into my office bleeding any more. Maybe you could get beaten up for old times sake so I can patch you up?." She giggled.

The waiter brought around two bottles of wine that Moneypenny had chosen before Q and Trevelyan had arrived filling glasses for them.  Trevelyan waved him off and ordered a vodka for himself.

“I'm sure you are missed there too, Moneypenny.  I hope M is having to make his own tea because the replacement that answered the phone the last time I called definitely sounded utterly inadequate.” Q smiled at her.  “And what is Tanner doing without us to drive him insane.  Probably being bored to death.”

“Oh and lest we forget there was the issue of The Queen clearly under pays talent also,” Q smirked.

The waiter returned with Trevelyan's drink, “Want one Q?”

“God no,” pulling a face.  “Makes me do bad things and gets me into trouble with Evie.”

"Sounds like the perfect reason to have one then." Trevelyan nodded at the waiter to bring one for Q, chuckling at Moneypenny's glare. "Just the one Evie, I promise not to lead him astray."

One turned into three over the course of the meal, with added wine. Q's responses became shorter the longer the irritating man opposite talked but it was amusing to see how easily Trevelyan ran rings around him, calling him out on a number of points, always polite but with a tone both Q and Moneypenny recognised. Once or twice Moneypenny kicked him hard but Trevelyan only grinned.

"Shall we skip coffee and head back? I fixed the coffee machine that Q broke this morning."

"You weren't supposed to tell her that," Q giggled, trying to stand up. He wobbled dangerously, leaning on Trevelyan's shoulder. "Oops, bit unsteady. Can you help me Alec?"

"There are limits Q. I'll get you to the gents but after that you're on your own," Trevelyan sniggered, wrapping an arm around Q's waist and guiding him across the restaurant. One or two patrons glared and were rewarded with a brilliant Trevelyan smile. Halfway there Q sobered miraculously.

"Jesus Alec if you don't get us out of here I'll scream. A proper hissy fit, I promise you. I'll pay and you call a cab and we'll make a run for home away from that shit."  

"Anything for you love. Piss quickly."

They wobbled back to the table to find Moneypenny tapping her foot impatiently and Jarred holding a cab. "Get in piss heads," she hissed "you're embarrassing me."

"Sorry Evie," they chorused falling inside. Q snuggled against Trevelyan in the back making room for Moneypenny to slide in alongside. She rolled her eyes in the gloom of the car.

"Seriously now? You decide to make up now? Why the hell do I put up with such children?"

“Because you love us, Evie.” Q smiled at her as sweetly as he could blowing her a kiss.

“You are so pathetic, Q.”  She sighed garnering a giggle from the younger man. The rest of the ride was fairly quiet and at one point in time Trevelyan was not sure if Q had fallen asleep snuggled up with his arm around his thin shoulders.  


	48. Chapter 48

 The cab pulled up in front of their home.  Jarred and Moneypenny got out as Trevelyan coaxed Q out of the back seat and balanced on his feet.   “It will take me a few to get up the steps and inside, Alec.” 

“It's fine, Q.  I’m right here with you.   We’re in no hurry.” Gently wrapping an arm around Q’s waist to steady him as they slowly made their way up the sidewalk to the front entrance.  

Q stopped just outside the door for a moment and turned to Trevelyan. “It was a nice evening, Alec.” Leaning up to give Trevelyan a small kiss.  “If we hadn’t needed to spend it with that arsehole Jarred, it would have been much better.”  Then shoved the front door open so it bounced against the inner wall. 

“Oops…” Q laughed half turning to Trevelyan.  “I don’t hold my liquor well anymore. I’m out of practice.“

“Oh I can tell, Q.” Trevelyan chuckled at him.  “As many times as you call me drunk in the middle of the night..”

"Do you mind?" Q was staring very intently at Trevelyan's mouth, "I like hearing your voice in the middle of the night."

"No... I don't mind at all... Q?" Trevelyan stood very still as Q's lips brushed over his, there and then gone again.

Q giggled. "I just wondered what it would be like."

Trevelyan raised an eyebrow and squeezed him a little tighter. "And?"

"And we should probably go inside before Evie comes looking for us." Q didn't move and nor did Trevelyan.

“Bloody hell,” Moneypenny appeared at the other end of the front hallway.  “You two are like bloody hormonal teenagers sometimes. Get him in here Alec before he sinks to the floor in the hallway and we have to pick his skinny arse up and carry him in here.”

“Yes, Evie,” they answered in unison and starting to giggle which made her roll her eyes at them.

“No more alcohol for you, Q.”  As he limped into the living room and just stood there half dazed.

“Need shoes off and tea and coffee and I don’t care in what order.”  Q commented to no one in particular.  “I’m going to go see if I can break the coffee maker again.”

"You want tea and coffee?" Jarred asked, obviously confused.  "Eve can sort the coffee, why don't you tell me more about your work Alec? You said we were in a similar field."

"Evie can't make coffee silly," Q snorted. "She can't work the machine either. 006 this is your Quartermaster demanding that you work the coffee-ma-Bob and bring me tea." Jarred frowned at the drunk young man who was now hugging his girlfriend. "Evie will you take my shoes off please? My leg hurts and my painkillers are a million miles upstairs."

"Hang on, you're a Double O?" Jarred looked astounded. He glanced between Moneypenny and Trevelyan, then Moneypenny and Q. "Well I suppose that makes a lot of sense."

"What does?" Trevelyan asked, fiddling with the machine. Q had lost interest in Moneypenny and had wandered over to Trevelyan so he could poke at the machine and generally get in Trevelyan's way.

"He's mad, bad and dangerous to know," Q giggled, almost tripping over his cane. Trevelyan put out a hand to steady him and Q deliberately fell against Trevelyan's chest, cuddling into him. Trevelyan chuckled and pressed his lips against Q's briefly, snorting at Jarred's narrowed eyes, glaring at them. He kissed Q again, more certainly, giggling against the younger man's lips when Moneypenny flapped him with a tea towel.

"Evie, can you get our boy on a chair before he falls over? He'll do what you say."

"No I won't. I'm telling Jarred about you and Evie, and being agents and quartermasters.  Evie could have been a Double O, couldn't she Alec? She's that good." 

Trevelyan winked at Moneypenny who grinned back "Of course, top of the class without a doubt if she'd stayed."

"Well we know it's easier to make the grade when you're beautiful like Evie," Jarred grinned. "People bend over backwards to promote a pretty face, don't they sweetie? If you cultivate the right relationships you can move up the ranks like a rocket as she's proving."

"What are you saying?" Q's befuddled mind had zeroed right in on Jarred's statement and was trying to compute why it sounded disrespectful to his best friend. He frowned at the American, taking a step towards him.

"You never see an ugly woman make the grade. I'm not saying they all do it, but there are plenty who earn their promotion on their back or their knees. Not who you know but who you blow." Jarred sniggered, glancing suggestively between the three of them. "If you make the right contacts you can really get on in life."

"You bastard," Moneypenny gasped. "Are you implying that's how I got my job?"

Q had taken another wobbly step towards the smooth man, his face like thunder. "Don't you dare say that about Evie?" Trevelyan's hand was on his shoulder holding him back, but very much looming himself.

Jarred was unabashed. "Come on Evie, you have to admit your promotion was quick. If you use your assets to get on I'm not going to complain. It gets you a great job."

"I earned that job. I have never slept with someone to earn a promotion. Ever!"

"Ever? What about these two? With a Double O and the Quartermaster behind you, you could have any job you wanted."

Trevelyan growled.

Jarred had finally pushed Q over that brink even though he had promised Moneypenny that he would behave. "How dare you imply...  Moneypenny has never had sex with either of us.  I would never."

Q turned, hands wandering under Trevelyan's suit jacket and pockets. "Give me your fucking Walther, Alec. I know you have it.  I'm going to shoot him. How fucking dare he..." Trevelyan pushed Q's flailing hands away.  

"Q..." Trevelyan started but was interrupted.

"Better yet, give it to Evie so she can shoot the bastard."

Trevelyan turned back to Jarred as he carefully dislodged Q gently shoving the younger man behind him.  "Tell me again that thought you just had, Jarred."

"Just saying there's no shame in using your assets to your advantage." Jarred grinned, too stupid to realise he was in real jeopardy. It was only when he turned his smile on Moneypenny that he realised he may have misread the situation.

"Clearly you have a huge dick to compensate for the lack of a brain. I can't imagine why else any woman would give you the time of day."

Trevelyan threw his entire bodyweight behind the punch, forgetting to compensate for the alcohol in his system. No matter. He crashed down on top of the shocked CIA agent, pummeling him until it registered dimly that Moneypenny was begging him to stop. When he sat back on his heels breathing hard the other man was bleeding heavily from his nose and mouth.

"Shit. Sorry Evie... Not my cleanest work." He dragged the dazed man to a sitting position, throwing the tea towel at him. "I suggest you leave Jarred. Evie will be in touch."

Jarred struggled to his feet and swayed towards the front of the house. "Don’t bother Eve. I'm done with this crap."

Q stood staring after the bloody agent walking out their front door.  "Fucking hell... Bastard.   Alec... Are you alright?" reaching out to touch Trevelyan on an arm.  "Did you tear anything open again?"

And then it really struck him what had just happened, "Evie.  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry this turned into such a cock up.  He was an idiot. You deserve so much better.  You are so much better than him." Q offered her but was afraid to approach into her personal space.  

"When I can figure out what just happened you two are so dead," Moneypenny said dully. "Until then, let me see your hands Alec. Is any of that blood yours?"

Trevelyan sat placidly while Moneypenny washed his hands and checked him for any injury. Apart from a couple of grazes he was fine, and the shoulder hadn't been aggravated. At some point Q came to stand behind him, leaning his head on Trevelyan's shoulder so he could watch her work. "Do you want to stay with us tonight?" He asked her.

"No I bloody don't. If I woke up with you two I might be tempted to shoot you where you lie."  She finished clearing up. "I'm so pissed off right now I don't know where to start... But thank you for sticking up for me." She left them alone in the kitchen.

"How angry do you think she is going to be when she finds the purple vibrator under her pillow?  I am so dead."  Q giggled.  

 


	49. Chapter 49

Trevelyan reached a hand back to brush against Q's face and hair.  "Q... You said stay with us."

Q froze for a moment and then quirky spoke in Trevelyan's ear without having to look him in the eye, "I want you to stay with me.   I've missed you Alec. But I'm afraid and I don't know.  But" he paused and sighed trying to gather his thoughts and words.  How could what he felt for Trevelyan make him so tongued tied and lacking in words.  "I want to try Alec." was all he could manage.

"Ok. Your place or mine?" Trevelyan chuckled.  He slid his hands around Q's back, tugging him closer.

"Mine. If that's ok... I mean... I have things..." Christ, when did he lose the ability to speak in sentences?  What he said and what he meant weren't tying up. "Alec, let's just go upstairs. It will take me an age and we'll probably have decided against it by then," Q babbled.

"Shut up Q." When Trevelyan kissed him it was no longer tentative or teasing, but had the possessive quality that made Q's knees go weak. He remembered kisses like that, the sort that damn near knocked him on his arse, and made him wonder what the hell he'd brought home with him. Damn Alec Trevelyan to hell and back, but it was the something that had been missing when he kissed Todd.

"Upstairs," Q murmured when he managed to catch his breath and focus again. Taking one of Trevelyan's large hands in his, he started towards the stairs and headed up.  Trevelyan started up behind him letting Q set the pace to climb the stairs, one hand resting gently on his back.

Q was up only a few stairs before he stopped and turned back to Trevelyan putting them at the same height so he could look into Trevelyan's eyes.  "Are you sure, Alec?  I can't do this if..." He knew if Trevelyan was just going to walk away again, he would completely fall apart. "I'm not who you..." stammering and searching for his words again.

"Upstairs, Q," Trevelyan replied reaching up to curl his fingers in Q's hair and pull him into another kiss.  Finally reaching the top of the stairs at a slow pace, Q stopped at Moneypenny's door and knocked softly but got no reply.  "Goodnight Evie.  I love you."

"She must not have found the vibrator yet." He whispered to Trevelyan with a giggle. 

Trevelyan kicked the door closed and pulled Q back against him, lingering over the kisses now that they had reached the bedroom. His fingers tangled in the unruly mop of hair tilting Q's head so their lips moved comfortably together. It was coming home but with a tinge of desperation. "No rush Q, take it easy." Trevelyan made short work of the buttons of Q's shirt and slid it off his shoulders never pausing between kisses.

Trevelyan's hand slowly caressed down Q's thin arms pushing the shirt down farther until it moved past his hands falling to the floor.   Fingers slowly moved back up his arms.  When Trevelyan's hand reached the scarring on his arm, he couldn't help but flinch.  It was one thing to take notice of his scarring when sitting on the sofa talking but this was an entirely different matter.

"Hush Q.  It's fine.  You're just fine."  Trevelyan wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in close until they were pressed together.  "This is me, Q.  I promise you're safe.  It's okay."

Q sighed against his neck, nodding slightly. “The brace… It's not exactly a turn on…” Q whispered, but Trevelyan was already guiding him to the bed and kneeling on the floor somehow managing to make the loosening of the straps as sensual as flicking open buttons.

Trevelyan smiled up at him from the floor. “It's all just clothing at the end of the day.” He kissed Q’s knee, sliding his hands up Q’s thighs to his hips and nudging his knees apart so he could lean between his legs.  “Anything at all you don’t want, just say.”

He curled one hand around Q’s neck and pulled him down into a much fiercer kiss, fingertips digging into Q’s bony hip on his good side. Q groaned, nipping at Trevelyan's lower lip until the older man grinned.  “There you are.  I knew you were still in there somewhere.”

Q leaned into the kiss until he couldn't breathe.  "Alec..." he whispered.  His hands sought Trevelyan's shoulders wanting to bury himself in the feel of the larger man.  Trevelyan had always stirred things in him, sometimes dark things, which it seemed no one else could reach.   He had so missed this feeling.

Q moaned against Trevelyan's mouth as his long slender fingers deftly sought the buttons of Trevelyan's shirt.  He needed to feel skin.

With half the buttons undone Trevelyan lost patience. “Too long.” He muttered pulling it over his head and throwing it away, immediately seeking Q’s mouth once more.  He was aware of Q’s fingers dancing over the new scarring on his shoulder. Q broke the kiss to run his lips over the fresh smooth skin, stroking his tongue across the wrinkled edges of the healed wound.

Trevelyan growled and pushed Q’s upper body flat to the mattress, crawling over him like a predator.  Trevelyan's large hand roamed over Q’s prominent ribs and down the the sharp hipbone beneath his trousers. He gripped the rise of bone barely covered by flesh  hard and pressed his thigh between Q’s legs.

Q couldn't keep from pushing up into Trevelyan's hard thigh as a thin arm wrapped around Trevelyan's neck pulling him down into a searing kiss.  His other free hand roamed the to stroke the taut muscles of his back.   

"Too many clothes Q."  Trevelyan whispered to him, his voice low and needy. He kissed and nibbled his way down Q's jaw to his thin pale neck, Q's body arching underneath him.

Trevelyan skimmed over the fly of Q’s trousers teasing over the hard swell of flesh beneath the fine fabric. Q tried to thrust into his hand but Trevelyan's touch was too light to meet his growing need. “Alec…” He whined and felt the older man chuckle against his throat.

“Always wanting more Q” Trevelyan straddled Q’s thighs careful not to put his full weight on his leg. He stroked his hands down Q’s sides, not differentiating between the unblemished skin of one side and the angry red stripes of the other. Q froze as Trevelyan's fingers passed over the worst of the damage, but then Trevelyan was undoing his trousers and it didn’t seem to matter too much anymore.

Trevelyan stripped Q of his trousers and pants, swiftly removing his own too. He watched Q constantly for signs he was going to bail, but Q remained sprawled on the bed watching Trevelyan hungrily. One hand played across his chest a lazy finger circling his nipple while his other crept towards his cock. “God Q, you are fucking gorgeous.” Trevelyan crawled between his knees, lightly slapping Q’s wandering hand away and dropped his face to nose at Q’s cock, “but this is all mine.”

Trevelyan buried his nose in the nest of black curls at the base of Q’s prick inhaling the scent that was uniquely Q. He huffed in contentment, hot breath ghosting over Q’s balls.  “Love the smell of you,” he murmured into the fuzz, the vibration of his lips sending delightful shivers over Q’s skin.

Q’s fingers found their way to Trevelyan's hair, pushing through the short blond strands to massage over his scalp. It was encouragement for Trevelyan to stay right where he was, as if any were needed. If asked, Trevelyan would probably claim to be in his favourite place in the world, inhaling Q with every slightly ragged breath, and exploring every inch of skin between his navel and knees.

As familiar as home, but with new territory to explore too. Trevelyan lapped at Q’s balls, manipulating the loose skin with his tongue, distracting Q from the hand that traversed the ruined muscle of his thigh.  When Q tensed, Trevelyan swept his tongue more firmly over the wrinkled sack, exhaling hot moist breath over his dampened skin making the young man moan. “So beautiful Q,” he whispered, and Q’s fingers twitched against his head in response.  

Trevelyan trailed his tongue up the crease of Q’s thigh, until he was mouthing over the red weals that marred Q’s hip that looked angry and sore. There was no pain now, at least not at skin level, but there were new sensations to explore. The scars themselves had little feeling, but Trevelyan found the scrape and nip of his teeth over the pale skin between made Q gasp.  Trevelyan looked up the line of Q’s body to find him watching with wide dark eyes. “Feel good?” Smirked Trevelyan.

Q nodded and jerked when Trevelyan nipped a little harder. “Very good.  I thought that…”

“What?” Trevelyan soothed the fresh red marks he’d made with tender kisses.

“That it would feel weird to have you… There… Where it looks bad. But it's… Fuck, you putting your teeth on me feels amazing.” He pushed Trevelyan's laughing face into his groin and Trevelyan was more than happy to let him.

Trevelyan trailed kisses down Q’s inner thigh moving towards the area of most damage just above his knee. It put him out of reach of Q’s hand and Trevelyan could feel him start to pull back from the situation. “Think pleasure Q, how much I want to be here doing this with you. Touching you is making me so hard right now. You know this feels good. Give me your hand.” Obediently Q offered his hand and Trevelyan took it, guiding it to Q’s own cock. “I want to watch you play while I discover what makes you feel good.”

Trevelyan rested his cheek over the dip in Q’s leg, careful not to lean too heavily. He looked with lazy hooded eyes at Q’s hand where it lay over his prick “Come on Q, you know I love to watch you. Not allowed to come though, not till my mouth is around you.”

Q’s fingers twitched, then curled loosely around his length, thumb playing lightly around the tip. “Lovely, Q, remind me how you like to be touched.” Trevelyan rolled his hips to the side so he could circle one hand around his own thick cock, fully hard and eager for more action. He matched Q’s caresses and almost lost the fact it was meant to be a distraction for Q.  He considered settling for just watching the moment Q bit his lower lip and shot him a look that was pure sin. “Oh god, you look so fucking hot Q when you do that.”

Q grinned and deliberately worried at his full lower lip until it was red and swollen, darting his tongue over it to make it glisten wetly in the dim light. “Next time I’m going to make you watch until I come.” He giggled and Trevelyan had to try very hard not to imagine the next time.

Trevelyan dragged his hand reluctantly from his aching length and turned his face back to Q’s inner thigh. Flicking his eyes between Q’s wanton expression and the hand he stroked over his hard flesh, Trevelyan licked and sucked his way closer to his prize. His fingers played across the healed injuries noting the touches that generated the best responses in the younger man. If it made Q groan Trevelyan replaced his fingertips with the firm press of lips or slide of tongue, even a nip of teeth, sometimes a huff of breath.

Q writhed on the bed, waiting for Trevelyan's mouth to make its agonizingly slow kiss trail over his hip and belly. “If you don’t get here now I’m going to come to piss you off,” Q moaned.

“Such a needy boy,” Trevelyan chuckled, finally trailing the tip of his tongue through the sticky drips on Q’s stomach. “You are going to be delicious.”

Trevelyan gripped Q’s wrist and brought Q’s hand to his mouth kissing away the traces of arousal that slicked his palm. Q’s eyelids fluttered when Trevelyan's tongue slipped between his fingers chasing the tang of Q’s cock. “Just suck me already,” the young man breathed, hips pushing up of their own accord inviting Trevelyan to taste.

The blond pinned Q’s wrists to the mattress and licked a wide wet stripe from the root of Q’s cock to the very tip. Q rocked his hips bumping the glistening head against Trevelyan's lips, tempting him. “Alec… Please…”

Trevelyan took him slowly, closing his lips around Q’s hot shaft and suckling away the precome that beaded at the slit. Q’s hands twitched against the mattress trying to extract from the large hands that kept them in place. He wanted to be free, needed to be so he could bury his fingers in Trevelyan's hair and hold him still while he fucked into his mouth.  Trevelyan always did this when he decided Q was being too passive, the bastard.  “Damn you Alec I want more.”

Q moaned when Trevelyan let his heavy prick drop from his lips, bouncing against his stomach. “Can you kneel?” He asked Q with a filthy grin.

“Not for long enough, unless you support me.”

"Always.”  Trevelyan leaned against the headboard and Q straddled his thighs, kneeling on his good knee, his bad leg stretched awkwardly to the side.  “Ok?” Q nodded, guiding Trevelyan's strong hands to his hips and bracing his own on the thick muscle of Trevelyan's shoulders. His cock bobbed teasingly at Trevelyan's mouth level. “Q you are a picture. Let me have you.”

Q did, pushing between Trevelyan's waiting lips, groaning at the faintest touch of teeth. Trevelyan's tongue massaged the underside of Q’s cock playing against the frenulum and sliding the glans against the roof of his mouth. “Fuck Alec, I have missed you so much.”

Trevelyan's fingers tightened painfully on his hips pulling him in. “God yes” Q hissed, pushing further into Trevelyan's mouth. One hand curled around the back of Trevelyan's head, nails clawing at the blonde’s scalp as Trevelyan relaxed enough to let him press into his throat. Trevelyan swallowed and Q made an inhuman sound that rocketed straight to Trevelyan's prick. “Bloody hell Alec, I’m going to…” He jerked away fractionally, flooding Trevelyan's mouth with thick hot come that he fought to swallow down, one obscene drool escaping to dribble down his chin.

“Fuck sorry Alec, been a while since…”

Trevelyan laughed, gently lowering Q to the bed, rubbing at Q’s undamaged thigh that quaked with the strain of holding him upright. “Don’t worry about it.” He gestured to the mess on his stomach.”but if you ever tell Bond you got me off without even touching me I’ll shoot you in the other leg.”

Q couldn't even think of a smart comeback. He was post-orgasmically tired, still a little drunk and his brain was tending to the emotional. He blamed the alcohol and release for the sudden bizarre need to cry. He slammed a pillow over his face so Trevelyan wouldn’t see and let his body shudder through the come down while the cotton soaked up the traitorous tears.

Trevelyan didn’t say a word. He simply reached for the duvet, dragging it over the shaking man and curving his arm across his stomach above the stark red marks his fingers had left on Q’s pale skin. After a while Q rolled onto his side and Trevelyan spooned him, rubbing soothing circles over his skin until they both drifted into sleep.

  
  



	50. Chapter 50

Sleep was comfortable, familiar, home for both of them. They quickly fell into their normal sleeping position with Trevelyan being the big spoon and Q tightly against him. Q's dark curls were tucked underneath Trevelyan's chin, back to Trevelyan's chest.  So when Q began to snuffle in his sleep, the sleeping older man automatically pulled him in tighter. Arm wrapped around his chest. Legs pulled in against Trevelyan's muscular thighs.  "Hush Q. I've got you," he whispered into the dark hair half asleep not even conscious that he was doing it.   It was natural.  

But inside the dark haired head the nightmare was taking control full swing into horror.

First the random faces of people on the train morphed into twisted death masks in the train car.  The sights, sounds, smells of the burning train hit next full force, torn metal, shattered glass, and destroyed seating.

Horrendous pain in his leg and arm and he was trapped, pinned in the torn metal.  But in reality the "pinned" was Trevelyan holding him tight in comfort.  But Q's sleeping mind couldn't discern the difference between Trevelyan and the dead girl he had just been standing next. Dead eyes now staring at him.  Her blood pooling around him which he could not escape.  

The feel of his own blood seemed to be everywhere too, dripping into his eyes.   His own blood mingled with the blood of the girl... hot, thick sticky and the coppery wet metallic smell.  It was that nightmarish smell that always caused the bile to rise in his throat, threatening to choke him.

Q frantically fought to untangle himself from Trevelyan's limbs and larger body pressed against him not being able to differentiate between Trevelyan and a bloody dead young teen.

"Q... What the fuck?"

Boney elbows and hands shoved frantically at Trevelyan and the sobbing gagging brought him quickly awake just in time to witness Q try to throw himself from the bed.

And not having thought to replace his leg brace after sex with Trevelyan, instead of managing to make it to the bathroom, Q ended up in a retching keening heap on the bedroom floor his bad leg not being able to hold him.   

"Christ Q... it's alright. Just hang on " Trevelyan quickly scooped the younger man up off the floor and carried him bodily to the bathroom.  Q fought him the entire time finally starting to wake as Trevelyan deposited him on the floor in front of the toilet just in time for Q to start vomiting.

"Its alright, Q.  Just get it out. I'm here.  Hush.." Trevelyan knelt behind him gently rubbing circles on his back as Q continued to wail and retch.  

"Don't touch him, Alec!"  Moneypenny's voice ordered from the bathroom door staring at a naked Q and Trevelyan on the bathroom floor, commotion having woken her.  

Seeing the startled harsh look on Trevelyan's face, "He'll come back quicker if you don't touch him," her voice soft... gentler. "He can't tell between nightmare and reality at first." she sighed feeling sad for their first night back together having been interrupted by the nightmares that plagued Q. "Give him a few,  Alec. And always ask permission to touch when this happens. He'll let you know when it's passed enough that he can tolerate your hand on him.  Don't take it personal, Alec. He can't help it."

Trevelyan dropped his hand and sat back on his heels, anxiously watching his lover experience something he had no part in and way to offer aid. He'd never felt so helpless or inadequate. Without taking his eyes from Q he asked "How often?" 

Moneypenny felt for him. While she would never grow used to seeing Q like this, they had developed a strategy of a sorts for coping with it, and that was something deeply personal between the two of them. Trevelyan had a right to be there now but it was something he would need to learn to deal with from scratch. "Far too often. Sometimes he can go a couple of weeks, maybe even three, then it might be a run of sleepless nights."

"Evie...?" Q croaked, looking around with a panicked expression.

She stepped over Trevelyan and crouched by the shivering man. "Here, love. Alec is here too."

Realizing what Moneypenny had said, Q curled in on himself, eyes tearing up. "No Evie. Please. Just... Just you. Oh god..." stammering panicked. Alec was there. Where did Alec..?  Thought process clearing slightly more, he remembered that he and Trevelyan had been asleep in bed together.   "Oh fuck..." Q whined.

Moneypenny looked up at Trevelyan. "Sorry" she mouthed at him and then out loud. "Can you give us a couple minutes here Alec?  Maybe go put something on that naked arse of yours."

Torn wanting to help but not wanting to make this situation any worse for Q, he nodded to Moneypenny, "I'll just find something to put on, some clothes. Maybe make some coffee or something." Trevelyan paused at the bathroom door, "Yell if you need something, Q. I'll be close by."

"It's alright, love. Just you and me." Moneypenny sighed. "Can I touch you yet?"

Q shook his head trying to hold back the tears and mentally trying to will his stomach to quit churning.  "Such a cock up."  He muttered with a sob.  

"Don't be silly love, everything's fine, I promise. Are you ok for a moment while I fetch-" she looked to the door to find Trevelyan already there holding Q's leg brace, an uncertain look on his face. "No matter. Alec's brought it for you. Thanks Alec." She smiled encouragingly but reminded "Clothes, Alec? Maybe a robe or blanket for Q?"

When Trevelyan disappeared back into the bedroom she turned to Q. "How are you doing? Do you want me to help you put this on?"

"Not yet... Just give me a minute." He dashed his hands over his face trying to ground himself but the hiccuping sobs kept breaking free. "He won't deal with this. Stupid... Fuck, it was stupid to let it happen... He didn't remember I needed that fucking thing." He kicked out, sending the brace across the floor. "Moneypenny, this won't work. Evie, fuck, it won't work."

"For someone so intelligent you can be a right stupid git sometimes, Q.  You forgot the brace also, didn't you?  And you're the one that wears it.  You both were wrapped up in being comfortable with each other.  And he didn't run away after touching you, did he?" getting up off the floor to go retrieve the leg brace.

Trevelyan appeared back at the door with some pajama pants and a tshirt for Q giving Moneypenny a questioning look.  "Thank you, Alec.  We'll be just a little longer.  Q love, Alec brought you something to keep you warm."

Trevelyan retreated once more.  "He's trying, love. Give him a chance."

"He'll leave and I'll..." A sob cut off the words again.

Moneypenny sighed torn between wanting to give him a smack or a hug.  "Can I touch you yet?"  Q nodded slightly.  "Okay Q. Let's go slow and get something warm on you and that leg brace back on."  

Moneypenny carefully helped him stand until he got his balance and slowly made their way to his bed with Moneypenny supporting most of his light weight.   Clothing and brace on. Q sat on the edge of the bed, head bowed lost.

Two fingers gently under his chin, Moneypenny tipped his face up forcing him to look at her. "Take your time, love. I'm going to get into something warmer myself and then I'll start some tea.  Come downstairs when you are ready."

  
  



	51. Chapter 51

"Q?  Alright?" Trevelyan stood up from where he had been sitting in front of the television with a cup of coffee and watched as Q had slowly made his way down the stairs wrapped in the duvet dragging it behind him. Moneypenny just watched from where she was curled up at the opposite end of the sofa.

The younger man didn't respond. Didn't even acknowledge that he had heard him call his name.  Dazed he made his way into the kitchen and made a cup of tea, before heading out the back door, duvet in tow to the bench out in the back garden.

“Eve, what did I do wrong? Do I go after him?” Trevelyan was clearly upset and began to pace the living room, clutching his coffee mug in white fingers.

“First of all, top marks for stopping to think before you act. The Alec Trevelyan of old would have been out of one door or the other, after him or away from him depending which way the wind was blowing, and bugger the consequences.”  She was pleased Trevelyan was still in the room. Q needed time to breathe and not be suffocated by an overprotective boyfriend and the little garden had become something of a safe haven that even she tried not to intrude upon.

He narrowed his eyes but couldn't protest his past behaviour.  Not sticking around when things weren't going to plan had been the root of their problem more than a year ago, but in his time apart from Q he had resolved not to walk away from issues. Coming home and trying to smother Q with assistance and his skewed version of support hadn't worked out too well either. The regrets piled up painfully and he definitely didn't want to add more to the pile.

“Help me please Evie? I’m lost.” Trevelyan looked so distressed she took pity on him.

“He’s embarrassed that you saw him like that and afraid you won’t want to stay with him because of the mess he’s in.”  Moneypenny patted the sofa and Trevelyan sat down obediently although he fidgeted restlessly.  “You needed to witness it for yourself Alec, so in a way I’m glad it's happened although I wish you’d been spared it tonight.  It isn't an easy thing to live with and picking him off the floor night after night is distressing.”

“You do it.  You've done it since the start.”

“He’s my best friend, closer than family. He never had to ask and it never occurred to me not to do it. But it has been difficult Alec.  I have no regrets, but he has been my life for over a year, and sometimes… Just occasionally I would like not to be the first one he needs.” Moneypenny stared at the television. “You have no idea how guilty I feel for admitting that, but I would never give up a second of the care I give him unless it was to someone I’m sure loves him as much as I do.”

“I love him Eve.”

She smiled at him. “I know that. If the back door is open, you’re welcome to sit outside quietly with him. If it’s closed, he wants to be alone.” She stood and hugged him. “Goodnight Alec. If you need me, you know where I am.  Oh and Alec…?  I have questions about something I found in my bed… I can’t wait to ask, so get your stories straight.”

Q sat out in the backyard, in the darkness of night, where he would remain until the sun rose. He pulled the duvet tighter around him with one hand, the other clutching a cup of tea. "Fuck..." he sighed. And that is just what he has done, fucked everything all up. One huge utter cock up.  

Trevelyan didn't deserve to be saddled with his shite and he didn't know why Trevelyan would even consider it at all.  Tonight had finalized any thoughts Q had of them being able to get back together. Even if Trevelyan had some wild thought that it would work, Q gave it a week.. two at the most before another monumental fight ended things for good.  

Maybe there never had been anything truly between them other than physical attraction.  Maybe it was just the proximity that MI6 had pushed them into and the fact that as a Double O you lived day to day.

And for that matter either, Moneypenny didn't deserve this shite either.  She had put up with so much.  Never questioned.  He owed her so much and loved her intensely.  Moneypenny needed someone to love her properly. They may be a package deal now but someday soon that would need to change for Evie.  Fuck he needed to get his shite together or work out some other options for life or... He just didn't know what to do except to brace himself for the inevitable.  

He pulled the duvet up tighter wondering how long it would be before sunrise finally came.

The door was firmly shut.  Trevelyan stared at it in disbelief and growing anger, unable to believe that after everything they shared the previous night, Q could shut him out so completely over something so important. It was only his resolve to think before acting that kept him from barging into the garden and insisting that he was the man Q needed.

From the window he could see the bulky shadow of Q huddled on the seat in the garden.  His head was bowed and he was cocooned in the duvet against the night air, but other than that Trevelyan felt deaf, dumb and blind as far as Q’s mood went.  

To walk away from Q now would feel like a betrayal, but he trusted that Moneypenny had given him sound advice.  If he couldn’t sit by Q’s side in the garden he would keep vigil from the house.  He slid to the floor by the door to the deck and rested his cheek against the cold pane, eyes glued to the shadow he loved.

Q sat on the bench curled up in the duvet until the first faint light of sunrise broke over the roof of the house. He slowly and painfully unfolded himself taking a few moments to stand and get his balance.  Sitting out in the cool damp night air always made him stiff in the morn but it was the only way to halfway put his head back in some working order.  The attempt last night however seemed to be unsuccessful in many ways. Q glanced towards the house. Trevelyan was still waiting and no way to get back inside without having to pass him.  

The only thing that he had come to a conclusion about during the small hours of the night was that when the time came there would be nothing he could do about the outcome of his relationship with Trevelyan.   He was going to lose him. It didn't matter if he loved Trevelyan or not.  This life with him now, damaged and pathetic, was not the life for Trevelyan.

And after that, he wasn't sure.  

Q took a deep breath and slowly headed to face the inevitable.

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

Trevelyan hadn't slept. As a Double O he was used to strange and uncomfortable places to rest his head, so closing his eyes for a moment leaning against the back door would have been so easy, but his eyelids hadn't drooped once.  Twice in the hours he waited he had stood and worked the kinks from his stiff muscles. The second time he had stood with his hand on the door knob ready to march into the garden, pull Q into his arms and… He didn’t really know what. He had returned to his watching and waiting, with a growing sense of irritation.

Moneypenny wandered into the kitchen and stopped dead with her hand clamped over her mouth to catch her scream.  “What the fuck are you doing down there Alec? You scared me half to death.”

“Some bloody field agent you are if a man on the floor scares you,” Trevelyan grumbled, aware that finally Q seemed to be moving and if he didn’t get up he would likely find himself trodden on like a doormat.  “And he has been out there all fucking night with the door shut Evie. If he loves me so much why don’t I get a chance to prove how much I love him?”

"I don't know. Try asking him? Just for once try an exchange instead of one of you imposing your views on the other.  I’m tired, hungover, my boyfriend has left me because my friend beat him up and I have had no fucking coffee yet, so if you want an argument Alec, now is a bloody good time to try it.”

“Christ, I only asked a question.”

“Well ask the person who gives a damn,” she yelled, gesturing at Q who had come through the door into the middle of an apparent disagreement.

Trevelyan spun to face the weary looking man wrapped in the quilt, his angry expression immediately spiking Q’s irritation in defence.  “Why the hell are you shutting me out Q? What do I have to do to prove that I’m not going to leave you again, no matter what? I thought I gave a fairly good indication of that last night.”

“And… I don’t need to be here for this, thanks boys. If I need to break up a fist fight, call me.”

"Last night was sex Alec, that you know I will always give you no questions asked."  Which was true.  He had never been able to say no to Trevelyan. All Trevelyan needed to ever do was remotely indicate a desire and Q has been willing to oblige. Trevelyan pushed every button in him. Q shuffled to the sink dragging the duvet to put his cup in it, back to Trevelyan and staying that way.  

"Apologies for last night, Alec. I'm sorry you had to be here for what happened.   I can't seem to be able to gain control over it.  I suppose Psych in all their infinite wisdom can't fix everything after all," he added still facing the sink hoping to hide the tears that were glistening in his eyes.

"Moneypenny can help you arrange a flight home. You are welcome to stay here in the lower living space and visit her as long as you want.  I'll just..."  

Trevelyan strode to the sink and pulled Q to face him. “You’ll just stop behaving like a pathetic child and you’ll let me have a say in our relationship, because you don’t actually get to dictate when I stop loving you. That is my decision and I decide never.”

“Alec…” Q tried to protest but Trevelyan was in full flow.  

Trevelyan placed his hands on the fluff of the duvet where he thought Q’s hips should be and kissed his forehead..

“I’m not going to be scared off by nightmares either Q.  We all have them, and we relive the horrendous things we’ve seen, and in my case, the horrific things I’ve sometimes had to do. Yours are more traumatic than most but I know you… You will have treated Psych with the same disdain James and I do, and now you’re suffering for it.  I won’t make you go back, but I’ll be there to help you through the bad nights, and on nights in between I will fuck you in any and every way you want me to.”

Trevelyan stood gripping handfuls of the ridiculous duvet and gazing earnestly into Q’s watery eyes.  “I want to be with you, and I know that’s probably not the most romantic declaration of love you’ve ever heard but it's heartfelt and the best I can bloody well do.”

  
  



	53. Chapter 53

Q grabbed one of Trevelyan's larger hands letting the duvet fall to the kitchen floor and drug him into the living room area.  Moneypenny was making a hasty retreat up the staircase from where she had been lurking, listening.

“Knew I would find you there.  You don’t leave, Moneypenny,” the young man growled pointing a finger at her and motioning her to come back down, wiping the dampness from his eyes with the other.  “Here.  You stay.   Say it again, Alec.  In front of Evie.  She’s the expert at piecing me back together by now, so she knows and hears everything.   There is one condition you have to know before you say it again or go any further, Alec,” then Q glanced over in Moneypenny’s direction motioning her to him.  “We come as a package deal.” He needed to have him say it in front of Moneypenny.  Needed her confirmation that it was alright, he was hearing what he needed to hear.

“Are you fucking insane, Q?” she smacked him on the shoulder as hard as she dared. “You can’t."

"Yes I can, Evie.  Remember our conversation. Package deal.  No boundaries. Until…." Moneypenny took a deep look into in his eyes realizing he was serious.

“I am not going to fuck him if he's staying Q.” Moneypenny pointed a finger at Trevelyan who just stood staring in disbelief at the shite show going on in front of him.

“I don’t want you to fuck him, Moneypenny.  That’s my privilege,” he threw right back at her.

“Well I’m still not having the babies, either. That's final!” Moneypenny snarked. “And what if I want a boyfriend?  You have a boyfriend."

"I do not!"

"He's standing right the fuck in front of you!"  He completely ignored her comment and continued to rant.

“He’ll just have to understand that we come as a package deal too.” Q commented with a look of Quartermaster authority.  “Maybe he can have the babies.”

“Christ, maybe I need to rethink this situation,” Trevelyan sighed, large calloused hand scrubbing over his face listening to the banter that could go on for hours between those two.

The silence that followed was deafening.  Q looked stricken.  Moneypenny ready to murder.

“I was just bloody joking you two,” Trevelyan threw his hands up in surrender.

“Not a joking matter, Alec.   No joking about that at all.” Moneypenny snapped at him.  “I am not picking his sorry whiny arse up off the floor if you break his heart again.”

“I don’t whine, Moneypenny.”  Q protested “How dare you.  I don’t have any idea what you are talking about.”  

“For Christ’s sake you two, shut up!” The two glared at him but amazingly stopped talking. Trevelyan's mouth threatened to twitch into a grin at actually being listened to, but then he remembered the words ‘package deal’ and his brain helpfully labelled him ‘losing side’. For the foreseeable future, possibly forever. Bloody hell.

“Look, I’ll say this again in front of Eve. Hell, I’ll broadcast on national TV if it will persuade you I’m serious Q.” Trevelyan grinned at him.  “I love you and all the snark and shite you throw at me and I want to be the one who picks you off the floor and fucks you senseless, now and forever.”

He pointed at Moneypenny. “I’ll even take her as part of the deal, God help me, because I think she’d actually cut my nuts off if I tried to take you away from her.” He blew her a kiss, laughing at her scowl. “But I am an equal partner in this bloody relationship. I don’t get cut out of important things because you’re embarrassed or having a tantrum. And I get to see you naked more than she does.”

“Well.” Moneypenny said, smirking at the pair. “Can I assume we are now a couple?”

“I’m going nowhere Q. This is my choice.” Trevelyan took one of Q’s hands. “There are practicalities to sort… London… Work… But none of that is going to stop me being with you. Not even your whiny self.”  Trevelyan pressed his lips lightly against Q’s and prayed.

Q pulled back from Trevelyan slightly.   “Zaquary…  Zaquary Alister Thaddeus Lewis.” Trevelyan looked at him completely baffled as to what he was talking about.    “It’s me.  My name you bloody idiot.  You both should know since I’m no longer the Quartermaster.  Might come in handy someday for something.”  He smirked at Moneypenny and Trevelyan.

Moneypenny stared at him intently, “You don’t look like a Zaquary.  Have to think of some other name for you.”

“Seriously Evie.” 

“Wait a minute…” Trevelyan held up a hand attempting to cut off their idiotic banter before it began full tilt again. “I know that name.  Why do I know that name?” he looked at the younger man suspiciously.  “What are you not telling me?  There’s more to this somewhere.”

“Fuck, here we go again.” Moneypenny sighed.  “Why can’t anything be simple with you two?  Do you not know any modes but fuck and fight?”

The stricken look started to overtake Q’s face again knowing that this was probably going to be the deal breaker.  “Remember a few years ago when all the MI6 computer were stuck in a loop for three days,” he began cautiously.  “And you and Bond were assigned to find the hacker that did it and never came up with your mark.  Well… eventually M did with some outside help.”

“You!  You’re the bloody hacker that led Bond and I on that merry goose chase. But…” Trevelyan just stared at him. “You had to have been a pup then. Bloody fucking hell.”

“Well where do you think all the money came from to buy this house?  I had a bloody lucrative life going before MI6 found me and enslaved me.  You know the Queen doesn't pay that sort of bloody salary.” the younger man threw back at him.

“Don’t even think it.  You better not, Q… Zaquary… fuck… If you think for one minute, I’m going to cover your little skinny ass if you hack into MI6 again like you did before…”

“Did I ever once mention that I was going to do that?  There are a lot more interesting places than MI6 to hack into.  But it’s a lucrative retirement plan though, you have to…”

“Just shut the fuck up,” Trevelyan pulled him into his arms forcing him to be quiet with a lip bruising kiss that Q immediately melted into.

Moneypenny sank back into the sofa to watch the shite show and shook her head.   Some things never change, but it was good to have love back in their lives.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we are finally at the end of this epic! When Boffin and I first talked of writing a short story together back in early November I don't think either of us imagined after 6 weeks we'd have 70K and a story we both love with our own particular spin on these beloved characters. Or that it would take 4 months to post in it's entirety. I have to thank my dearest Boffin for taking on responsibility for posting regularly. Left to me, you'd still be only half way through...
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has stuck with it, it means a great deal to us that people have actually stayed with us on the journey. And thanks to those who took the time to comment :-)
> 
> There is more to come...
> 
> Ashe


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